Physical pain is actually much easier to stop than mental pain. If not with medical help, then upon reaching a certain pain threshold, the body will “turn off” your consciousness itself. But mental suffering, as the experience of many shows, can continue almost indefinitely.

I once heard a phrase from a client that perfectly conveys this fear: “I am afraid of constant emotional suffering.” Yes, indeed, a person is afraid that he will not be able to stop his mental pain, and with good reason - a person’s brain works even in a dream, and most often it is the source of mental pain.

But let's take a closer look at its "anatomy".

Navigation for the article “Where does mental pain come from?”

It is no secret to many that under the influence of certain bodily factors, mood can change. Hormones, for example, play a very important role in this.

There are also factors that are difficult to notice with the naked eye: a person may lack certain chemicals, which may affect his mood (for example, serotonin or dopamine deficiency), but not know about it.

Often, if this deficiency is acute enough, it can lead to chronic, which doctors call endogenous, increased anxiety, depression, apathy or uncontrollable mood swings.

And if you notice that your depressed state is not corrected by any psychological methods, then most likely you should examine your body chemistry as seriously as possible.

But now we will talk about what happens to ordinary people, with most of us - fluctuations in the emotional background, which can be unpleasant, but not acute and do not last very long. However, this is often perceived as heartache.

Most women, for example, experience symptoms of premenstrual syndrome or mood swings after childbirth, during breastfeeding. Such sudden mood changes are also common in men; it’s just that the cyclical nature of hormonal fluctuations in men is more difficult to track than in women.

As a rule, the situation looks similar for both men and women. Suddenly, for no apparent reason, everything began to seem disgusting, everything irritated, or vice versa - indifference set in, all desires disappeared.

To begin with, of course, it is worth thinking about the reasons. How – we will talk about this below. But if you understand well that there are no obvious reasons, and the processes that are taking place in your life do not in any way point to the cause of such drastic changes, most likely it is physiology.

Sometimes it is impossible to do anything about it in emergency mode. After all, to find out what reason led to such a chemical failure, a whole program of analyzes is needed. And while you (even if you wanted to) did this, the fortune would have exhausted itself long ago.

There is only one way to cope with this - not to draw any serious conclusions from it. At a minimum, don’t do them right away.

Often a person begins to focus on this state, experiencing it as something significant that determines his entire future life. And it is, of course, perceived as heartache, and completely seriously.

Through the prism of this state, he thinks about whether he is doing the right thing in life, and sometimes takes rash steps.

In my practice, there was an example when a woman, being subject to periods of such a state, each time began to think that she needed to separate from her husband. Claims and quarrels began, she had the feeling that their marriage had not worked out, that there was no understanding, that everything depended only on the children.

She literally started packing her bags. And then, after a few days, this whole state seemed to dissolve. The feeling of hopelessness and total loneliness, alienation, disappeared, and the woman realized that she did not have a single truly deep complaint against her husband.

It passed, and in return came an understanding: even if there is something to work on in a relationship, everything is not so serious as to devalue their marriage.

Interestingly, all this was not tied to the monthly cycle; she was visited by this state more often than once every few months. Perhaps it was tied to some seasons, we were not able to fully find out.

Something else is important. She underwent a medical examination, but it did not reveal anything serious. Her fatigue from periods of acute despair and hopelessness was already very great. But we managed to develop a different attitude towards him.

We are not only what is with us at the moment is happening. Emotions, especially when they are related to physiology, like wind, tides, like rain - what can you do about the fact that this is happening?

Think about it: at different times in your life you experience different feelings and are in different states. And all of this is you. Joy and sadness, suffering and delight, mental and physical activity, logic and intuition coexist perfectly in a person.

At any given moment, a person’s condition is determined by several leading factors. And they change depending on life situations, health status, presence/absence of support and warmth, availability of space for oneself, environment, situation, etc.

Can we, getting into one of our many states, consider it the only true one and draw conclusions from it about our entire life? No. However, this is exactly what often happens, as in the example of the woman who made very global conclusions about her life based on a temporary state.

The observer is that part of the personality that helps you experience the state, immerse yourself in it if you need it, not suppress the feelings you are experiencing, but at the same time remain “in touch” with the understanding that this state is temporary and can Don't talk about anything serious yet.

The observer is something like a black box in an airplane. He records and remembers everything that happens. Only, unlike an airplane box, you can decipher it at any time. It is the observer who will tell you that this has already happened to you.

The observer is a mechanism of internal reflection; it is a constant critical look at oneself. Critical in the sense of “from the outside,” and not in the sense of “criticizing.” This is the one who will help you not only see what is happening, but also remind you, for example, that something similar has already happened to you, and when.

To develop the observer in you, imagine that you are telling someone about what is happening to you. Train yourself to do this constantly, as if you were writing a book about yourself every day and voicing this text within yourself.

It doesn’t have to be a highly artistic work, it’s only important for you. The most important thing in this text is to begin with, name your feelings: “I’m angry”, “this irritates me”, “I feel sad”, “I feel depressed and despair” or “I feel real delight”, “I feel very calm” , “I feel sympathy”, etc.

Over time, you may no longer need this text, you will observe yourself without words, but words at first are very helpful in not identifying yourself 100% with the emotional background inside you.

I would like to draw your attention once again: observing does not mean suppressing feelings, not forbidding yourself to experience them. It’s just seeing what’s happening a little from the outside and being able to describe your state for yourself. While continuing to naturally experience the feelings that are currently relevant.

A person who does not have this inner observer suppresses his feelings more often than one who does have it. By naming a feeling, you make it conscious and clear to yourself. And by not naming it and not wanting to observe it, you are most likely repressing it before it even becomes clear to you.

But, what is most interesting, it is precisely in case of insufficient awareness of your feelings and motives that you begin to act under the influence of this state. There seems to be no feeling, but the action is there.

A person in this state describes his actions as follows: “when he did/said this, I wanted to do/say this in response, I did, and it led to this.” More often - to something not very desirable.

Look carefully: the action of another is described and the response that occurs immediately, without understanding why it is like this, on what basis, what feelings and motives led to it.

And most importantly, the person seems to deprive himself of the choice of this reaction, acts “automatically”, and under the influence of this temporary emotion, which he himself does not even really know about.

It is not surprising that in this situation people step on the same rake, do not learn from their mistakes, and most importantly, the mental pain in their lives grows day by day.

The picture of such an attitude towards life and towards others reminds me of a battlefield where everyone is hitting each other blindly, not understanding who is friend and who is enemy, receiving blows from all sides and not being able to stop all this violence.

Having an observer helps you come to an understanding of what, when, how and for what reasons you react, where your mental pain comes from. Subsequently, identify some kind of system in this. Get to know yourself better and learn to manage yourself.

Managing is not the same as suppressing and controlling. To manage is to understand the essence of your reactions and be able to make free choices regarding these reactions.

Yes, not in all cases you can fully make this choice - just when your condition is dictated by physiology, then perhaps you cannot change the condition itself, but you can change your attitude towards it.

And by this you will already achieve a serious advantage - you will stop “winding up” yourself and aggravating the already unhappy state with a negative assessment of it, you will not “increase the degree” of this state due to suffering over the fact that it exists at all.

But in most cases, you can not only change your attitude, you can change the condition itself if you are aware of it and can understand its causes. We'll talk about this next.

Conflict of expectations and reality

Heartache mainly stems from this conflict. You have an expectation/desire for it to be this way. Reality is not always disposed to realize this expectation exactly the way and exactly as and when you would like.

Moreover, the person himself sets too many conditions for reality: it should be now/tomorrow, it should come from that person, in exactly this form, and if everything does not happen exactly like that, then you experience resentment, powerlessness, pain and suffering .

Buddha also said that desires are suffering, and if we become too attached to them, we suffer very much. But a person cannot help but desire, and someone who does not want anything and does not strive for anything is also unlikely to be happy and productive.

How to find the balance point in this process? Form your own hierarchy of values, realize what is important to you and what is not so important, be able to isolate the essence of your desires and not set too many conditions for the universe.

In this process of figuring out the relationship between reality and expectations, there are several points that you should pay attention to.

  1. Level of importance

We don’t always understand what we really want and what we are ready for. A person fantasizes that he could have a job like a friend’s, but at the same time he does not know all its possible side effects.

We sometimes create ideas about something based on distorted or incomplete information. As in this example with work - without knowing everything, a person snatches some pieces from the surrounding reality: high salary, prestigious social status, project management.

But in reality, an acquaintance sometimes takes work home, he is sometimes called on weekends, his boss is a complete tyrant, and his team is so-so. An acquaintance may be ready to put up with this for all the above-mentioned advantages, but whether you are ready to put up with exactly this is a big question.

Or, for example, you want meet your other half. And you also begin to assemble the image of the “prince” from pieces - once upon a time at your first young man, with whom we broke up “out of stupidity,” had blue eyes. And now you definitely want blue ones, because you have created the belief for yourself: “with blue eyes he will definitely be cheerful,” which is what the last guy was.

And your friend’s husband is an IT specialist, he’s calm and doesn’t find fault with everyday life, so, you think, you too would like someone who doesn’t find fault, otherwise you don’t want to stand at the stove all day long, not for the sake of any prince. This is how the conviction arises that it would be better if he were a computer scientist, etc.

This is how images of what we want are constructed from the parts we see. Of course, such an image cannot be called complete, and not a single person will correspond to the wishes “pulled” by you from different layers of reality.

And the most unpleasant thing about this is that you still won’t be able to create a complete picture of what you want in detail, because the brain, like a computer, operates only with loaded information. And you have to be very arrogant to think that you know everything about this universe and its possibilities.

Therefore, try to highlight the most essential - what you definitely cannot do without. And this is unlikely to be a person’s specific profession or the color of his eyes. Of course, we have some significant guidelines regarding our partner’s appearance, but try to highlight what is really important and what is not so important.

It is not the profession that is important, but the attitude towards everyday life. What is important is the color of your eyes as such, and the ability to rejoice that you associated with it. It is important not what specific books and films a person has read/watched, but what kind of worldview they have formed, etc.

  1. Deadlines

In general, most of us want everything “immediately and now,” or better yet, “yesterday.” Sometimes, of course, specific deadlines are set - “in a year”, “in a month”, “in five years”, etc. But you determine this period based on the situation at the moment.

What will happen in a week? Or in a month? It may happen that a lot will change. But most often forget to revise plans in accordance with new changes in reality. Or he doesn’t notice these changes at all.

The deadline is approaching, the plans do not come true - and here you are again in mental pain. But have you asked yourself the question - why exactly such a period? What changes so significantly if this period is different?

Example. “I’m already 30, and I still don’t have children, I planned that by 30 I’d already have two!” - the life of this woman passes in constant suffering about her inferiority, the conclusion about which was made only on the basis that the plans did not come true.

Ask yourself a few questions. Why do I need this? How will I feel if I receive this? Could I have similar feelings in a different situation? How is my feeling connected with the object or situation that is the object of my desires?

A simple example. A man wants a car. For what? In theory, to travel, to go out of town or not to carry bags from the store. Why else? To experience feelings. Comfort, safety, security.

Then does it really matter whether he buys a used Opel or a new Nissan Qashqai? By and large, none. But sometimes a person convinces himself that without “qashqai” he cannot be happy.

Although, if he had thought about why he needed the Qashqai, he would have understood: he lacks respect from others. And “driving warm and not carrying bags” could be provided by an Opel.

And only because his colleagues associate this particular car with success, good luck, a good life, etc. - he wants a Qashqai, takes out unsustainable loans, and then the car often sits outside the house, because there simply isn’t enough money for gasoline, as well as for full maintenance.

The machine is not meant to provide respect. It is designed to ride and carry, with varying degrees of speed and comfort. And if a person had asked himself all of the above questions in time, then perhaps he would have been convinced that he didn’t need a car either.

False desires are, as a rule, those that someone imposed on us by manipulating our feelings: fear, the desire to gain respect and recognition, the desire to feel complete in the eyes of others, the desire to prove something to someone, etc. And behind this there is often the main thing - the desire to accept and love oneself.

We become most attached to false ones precisely because we do not believe in the possibility of obtaining the feelings we are looking for (and, of course, the feelings we need) in another way, we do not see these ways.

But if you break the usual connection in your head “respect - fashionable car” and leave only “respect”, a lot of options will appear. Another thing is that often a person is simply scared to look for these options.

After all, here it seems like it’s already been verified, they respect it. Almost a guarantee. And if you look for other options, it remains to be seen whether you will be able to get what you are looking for.

Vice versa, true desires- these are those to whom we go no matter what, no matter what the opinions of others, despite someone’s protests or bewilderment. This is what we do calmly and confidently, and we are not particularly tormented by the timing or the exact contours of the event.

Example. If a person needs his own home, then the most basic thing in this desire will be a certain sense of ownership of his own space, but the timing, contours and where this house may be located are easily subject to correction during the search process.

And it is in such a search that a person easily interacts with the environment. Let's say the opportunity comes up for him to buy a room. Yes, this is not a dream home, but the most important thing for a person is to have his own space. Well, he thinks, this is where he can start.

And he begins to actively invest in this space - strength, money, skills, soul, in the end. In this process, he learns even better what his home should be like. At first he thought it was an apartment. But living in a communal apartment changed his view, he began to understand that he wanted a house outside the city, and he is grateful to this communal apartment for a more accurate understanding of his own goal.

And then he gets the opportunity to buy a wrecked car on a good plot of land and not far from the city. He sells the room and buys a junk car. At the same time, it is also not the house of his dreams, but he again begins to invest his strength, skills, money and time.

After a while, a decent house turns out of a tumbledown house.... Need I tell you that after some time this person may well end up in a luxurious mansion on the sea coast?

And it's simple - he managed to do a few key things:

  • Indicate the most important thing in what you are looking for
  • Do not be rigidly attached to the form and deadlines
  • React flexibly to suggestions and opportunities of reality
  • Learn from them and from them
  • Be happy with what you have and invest in it, without waiting for “ideality”
  • Don’t be afraid to adjust initial plans and be able to give up false ideas
  • Don’t get stuck on achievements, set new goals and go towards them

So, let's summarize

Heartache comes from:

  1. An unconvenient, unecological attitude towards those temporary conditions that arise in each of us due to complex chemical structure. Simply put, the majority not only goes along with any emotions, but also aggravates them with a negative assessment of the very fact of their presence
  2. A conflict between expectations and reality, while a person rarely critically rethinks the specific characteristics of what is desired and the timing. He often confuses what was imposed from the outside with his own real needs, and becomes too attached to the specific contours of the desired events, unable to highlight the most important things in his desires, as well as flexibly respond to the opportunities provided by reality and interact productively with them.

In the next article I will try to describe how to use the inner observer, how to specifically work to become aware of your needs and how to stop being attached to specific contours of events: How to become conscious: practice and techniques

Regular failures in love and a prolonged lack of career growth, sad news about the loss loved one and oppressive loneliness are the prerequisites for the emergence of severe pain in the depths of the soul. This phenomenon cannot be cured by taking an effective pill or mixture. The consciousness of a person who is depressed acquires a comatose state.

It will not be possible to diagnose the emerging problem, because no medications have been found to treat the above symptoms in the 21st century. Calming capsules and psychotropic drugs can aggravate the current situation, harming the mind damaged by grief and experiences. It is not surprising that people have a question: How to relieve severe mental pain? What is the best way to bring your loved one back to a full life? Where is the formula for success hidden? How to get rid of it?

Mental pain occurs in people who were not mentally prepared for the events that occurred. If you prepare yourself in advance for various options for the development of the situation, then it will be much easier to realize the accomplished fact.

How to cope with mental pain: a step-by-step guide to action

To solve the problem, it is recommended to contact a psychologist who will correctly diagnose the cause of spiritual experiences, offering his own healing method. However, it also becomes possible to get rid of severe pain that consumes a person’s consciousness every minute. The main thing is to follow the simple sequence of actions recommended below:

  • Identify the cause of mental pain.
  • Do not deny the presence of depression, accepting past events as an element of the past.
  • Realize the scale of the situation.
  • Determine the consequences by projecting the most “scary” picture of events.
  • Relate your results to the scale of the situation. Are realities not so harsh?
  • Change your usual environment, gradually arousing an interest in life in your mind.
  • Get rid of reminders of the event that happened by “opening” a new page in your own existence.
  • Enjoy positive moments while avoiding negative emotions.
  • Learn to live in a new format, becoming happy.

It is difficult solely with the help of words and encouraging phrases. To restore mutual understanding with the damaged consciousness of a close friend and lover, you will have to be around regularly, regaining lost trust. Remember that severe mental pain causes a state of apathy towards the world, aggression towards people, hatred towards the events that happened. Do not transfer this range of emotions onto yourself, because your loved one does not want to offend you - at this moment it is very difficult for him.

If you regularly train emotional stability, you can prevent the occurrence of mental pain. Rational perception of accomplished events is a reliable basis for a balanced and invulnerable person

Options for solving the problem at different ages

If you want to help your loved one get rid of mental pain, be sure to take into account his age. At different periods of life, people’s worldviews have a clear similarity, so the methods for solving the problem are identical:

  • Age 5–10 years.

Children have spiritual experiences due to unfulfilled promises of parents who did not fulfill cherished dream child. Encouraging this type of behavior is not an appropriate decision for adults, but you need to help the child during such a period. To “free” the offspring’s consciousness from, an unplanned trip to an amusement park is enough. You can buy a young explorer exploring the world a portion of ice cream or a new toy - the main thing is a moment of surprise that evokes positive emotions in the child.

  • Age 10–18 years.

During such a period of time, mental pain becomes a consequence of the betrayal of a loved one or appears after a series of failures negatively perceived by peers. , taking over the consciousness of a teenager, slow down the process of growing up, preventing the child from realizing himself in society. The only rational way out of this situation is to switch the attention of a person in adolescence to an exciting activity. A new social circle will allow a teenager to painlessly experience a depressive state.

  • Age 18–30 years.

To restore emotional balance, you need to regularly be near an adult who is experiencing severe stress. At this age, depression appears after a failed love relationship that ended in divorce. Discord in the family, lack of communication with the child, dissatisfaction with the authorities, lack of funds - the reasons for the worries are varied. However, the method of treatment is always the same - heart-to-heart conversations and a reliable “shoulder” of support.

In an attempt to help, do not become a “hostage” of your own mercy, sharing the worldview of a person experiencing severe mental pain. You must listen, giving him the opportunity to talk, but not agree, maintaining the format of depressive communication. Be there and prove your devotion by restoring your loved one’s faith in people and a bright future.

People who turn to me for advice are often guided by mental pain; it arises against the backdrop of some unpleasant events in life. But the request is such that the client simply wants to get rid of this pain, asks for a magic pill that will instantly stop this torment.

Is mental pain really that bad? How can it help us in life and why does it exist?

This is what I want to talk to you about in this article.

What is mental pain, and how does it arise?

Mental pain is a combination of several negative emotions associated with a negative (as the person perceives it) event.

  • What emotions can cause heartache?

Resentment, anger, melancholy, anxiety, sadness, envy, guilt and shame, rage, anger, disgust and much more. There are situations in which a complex of these emotions arises. They influence the human condition. Due to the inability to understand what is happening, a person suffers and feels uncomfortable.

The desire to get rid of pain.

When a person feels bad, as a rule, there is a completely natural desire to get rid of it. After all, liberation will bring relief, and suffering will end.

  • Do I need to get rid of pain right away?

The point is that our emotions are not meant to torment us. They are designed to signal. About what? About what is happening in the world around us. They help us understand how to act and react to a particular event. But, as a rule, a person does not know or does not know how to use this tool.

But it contains great resources for positive changes in life.

How does pain help us change ourselves and change the world around us?

Pain causes a feeling of discomfort. The simplest example. The person is sick but does not experience any symptoms. How does he know he is sick? This is where unpleasant sensations in the body come to the rescue. This makes a person anxious, and he tries to understand what happened to him and goes to the doctor.

Mental pain works on the same principle. When the soul hurts, a person understands that something in his life is going wrong.

But here we begin to act according to a different principle. Instead of turning, for example, to a psychologist, we are looking for various ways to drown out the pain. Like using analgin, we take, for example, alcohol or indulge in various relationships that will not bring benefits and much more.

If you pay attention, the path is the same as with physical pain - understand the cause and heal.

How to Heal from Heartache

  1. Understand the reason.

If you are tormented by internal pain, then remember if there were any unpleasant events or disturbing news. Mentally go through your life (for example, through recent events), try to highlight exactly those situations that strongly attract your attention.

  1. Read the signals.

Then turn within. Determine what emotions are tormenting or bothering you. Write them down on a piece of paper. This could be a list or a short reflection. It is not always possible to immediately determine what exactly is boiling in the soul. Then you can think freely. Try asking yourself: "Is it resentment? Is it anger? Is it melancholy?" And listen carefully to what is happening inside, what emotions the soul responds to.

  1. Make sense of emotions.

Each emotion has its own meaning. Try to determine for yourself what your emotions are telling you, what message they are sending you. For example, resentment is unjustified expectations, anger is a feeling of powerlessness, a lack of understanding of how to change the situation in better side, or trespassing. Make your own portrait of emotions. Write down the message.

  1. React emotions.

For the pain to finally go away (at the third stage it should already become much easier, and sometimes completely), react to the emotions with your body. Feel what you want to do? Maybe go for a run, stomp your feet, jump, dance. Feel these emotions in your body and allow them to come out physically.

After all these manipulations, the pain should go away. In this way, you will not only heal from unpleasant sensations, but also maintain the health of your body. They say that all diseases come from nerves. There is truth in this. After all, unreacted emotions often block physical health.

If you can’t work through the situation on your own, don’t hesitate to contact a psychologist. It is always easier to understand what is happening with a specialist.

Health and happiness to you!

There is physical and mental pain. The first one is quite easy to deal with, because modern medicine can quickly determine its source and prescribe the necessary course of treatment. But with mental pain everything is much more complicated. Therefore, many people live with it for years without fully understanding what caused it to appear.

But psychology does not stand still. Having delved into the nooks and crannies of consciousness, experts have learned a lot about the human psyche, in particular how to get rid of mental pain. By following simple tips, you can not only overcome your internal suffering, but also regain lost happiness.

Mental pain: what is it?

It is very difficult to give an accurate description of this phenomenon. After all inner world impossible to measure, touch, and even less see. But at the same time, the sensations of psychological trauma are no less painful than those of a fracture or burn, and sometimes they can be much worse.

So what is heartache? First of all, it is a feeling caused by consciousness in response to emotional shock. Depending on the cause of its occurrence, the pain can be either barely noticeable or heartbreaking. But even after minor shocks, a person feels overwhelmed and broken, as if he had run out of electricity.

And if you do nothing, then soon the pain will be complemented by despair. And when you give up completely, depression will come. But fighting this enemy is much more difficult, and sometimes even impossible without the help of a specialist.

But before you learn how to cope with mental pain, you should understand its sources. After all, this is the only way to defeat her without harming yourself.

Where do emotional shocks come from?

Many are sure that emotional experiences can only arise after serious emotional turmoil. For example, the death of a loved one, the discovery of a serious illness, an accident, betrayal, and so on. Naturally, such life shocks will affect a person’s psyche, but the truth is that in most cases, the causes of mental pain are less noticeable reasons.

So, what can disrupt inner harmony and let confusion into your soul?

1. Life behind the mask. IN modern world Often you have to lie, not only to others, but also to yourself. This is necessary to expose yourself to better light- become more significant. But you'll have to pay for your lies peace of mind, because our consciousness does not like being played with. And even more so, it will not calmly accept the fact that they want to change it.

2. Unfinished tasks. Quite often, mental pain arises from dissatisfaction with one’s own actions. For example, when, because of work, you have to sacrifice a child’s performance, or when, instead of going to the gym, a person lay on the couch all day. All these unfulfilled dreams, plans and meetings fall like a dead weight on your shoulders and are guaranteed to lead to emotional depression.

3. Impotence. Lack of money, strength, beauty, health, knowledge - this list can be continued for a very long time, but the essence is the same - powerlessness. When a person cannot get what he wants, he suffers.

There's nothing worse than unrequited love

Heartache from love is isolated case. Unlike other troubles, unrequited feelings can hurt greatly. And the more a person strives to get the object of his desire, the stronger the pain digs into his heart.

In such cases, it is often said that the person seems to be drying up. This is partly true, because apart from dreams of his beloved, he is not interested in anything. It becomes completely unimportant what is happening around, what people are around and what to do next.

And in order to save its owner from danger, consciousness sends him an alarm signal - pain. In this way, the brain tries to force a person to look around and understand that it is impossible to live like this any longer.

Three strict prohibitions

Before you begin your own healing, you should remember one thing important rule: Never slide into the abyss of vice. Indeed, during this period the temptation is very great, and, alas, many succumb to it, making more and more attempts to quench their pain with the help of alcohol, nicotine and drugs.

This method not only does not relieve pain, but also increases emotional distress. The feeling of one’s own lack of will complements the already gray picture, pushing one to give up. Having set foot on this path, a person is deprived of the opportunity to reason sensibly, which will certainly lead to defeat.

Therefore, it is worth strictly prohibiting alcohol, drugs and cigarettes. This will not only help you concentrate on finding a solution to the problem, but will also keep you healthy. And, as you know, it is worth its weight in gold. It is much better to get addicted to green tea, it is not only healthy, but can also lift your mood a little.

Awareness is the first step to peace of mind

As stated above, heartache comes in many forms. Therefore, it is important to understand what caused it this time. Having looked into yourself, you should understand your own feelings, how long ago they appeared.

In most cases, the answer lies on the surface, you just have to look a little closer and you will find it. After this, solving the problem will be much easier, because, knowing the enemy by sight, you can build a war strategy.

But sometimes there are several sources of emotional excitement, and they are so closely intertwined that it is difficult to distinguish them from each other. Therefore, even when the main problem is found, you should continue to search, because who knows what else is hidden from view.

Perhaps at first such an exploration of one’s own consciousness will not be easy, but you should not stop. Over time, such a practice will become habitual, moreover, the brain will begin to take it for granted, opening access to hidden corners of consciousness.

Not all problems can be solved

Sometimes it is impossible to eliminate the cause of mental pain. For example, you cannot resurrect a dead person, erase memories of a loved one, become someone else at one moment, and so on. What to do then? How to cope with mental pain?

Answer: no way. It is simply impossible to completely get rid of such pain, no matter how much time passes. The only thing that remains is to learn to live with this feeling, to accept it as part of yourself. This will help reduce the pain just enough that you can calmly coexist with it.

Although this does not seem like a very happy prospect, it is still the reality. And accepting it means embarking on the path of getting rid of suffering. This is the only way to get the much-desired peace and begin to experience joyful feelings again.

Eat, sleep and walk

Due to emotional stress, the body weakens, and as a result, problems become more and more difficult to deal with. Therefore, it is very important not to forget about things like sleep, food and walks in the fresh air.

  1. When going to bed, a person is left alone with his problems, which sometimes makes it very difficult to fall asleep. But you need to understand that without night rest the brain does not work well, which will further aggravate the situation. To fall asleep faster, you should use counting rhymes; they help you to distract yourself and relax.
  2. Healthy eating. You should not eat stress with anything, otherwise stomach problems will be added to the mental trauma. It is also worth taking care of your daily intake of vitamins and minerals; they will strengthen not only the body, but also the psyche.
  3. Walks. Even though in times like these you might want to hide from the world, you shouldn’t do that. Short walks around the area will not only enrich your blood with oxygen, but also help you unwind a little. The main thing is not to go deep into yourself, but to try to catch something new in the surrounding landscape.

Sport is the best doctor

Nothing dispels sadness like active training. Fortunately, in the modern world there are a huge number of all kinds of sports clubs and gyms, so finding the right one will not be difficult.

Sport can not only distract from current problems, but can also strengthen the will. Will make the mind more resistant to psychological stress and stress. He teaches you to win and overcome your own fears and failures.

The most difficult thing in this method is to take the first step, go out the door and go to the right address. And if you still can’t force yourself, then at least you should start doing exercises in the morning. Even if not much, it will help.

Visits to a psychologist

Experts know how to get rid of mental pain. A qualified psychologist will not only help you find the cause of suffering, but will also suggest the most effective ways her decisions. Unfortunately, many people are afraid of such meetings, because, in their opinion, this is a manifestation of weakness, and sometimes even worse - a mental disorder.

But the reality is that a psychologist can really help. And if you make an effort on yourself and turn to him, you can avoid many problems, including the appearance of depression.

But be that as it may, one thing is important - mental pain exists, and we need to fight it. There are many methods for this, but their essence is one - move forward, no matter what happens.

If you ask a villager how to cope with mental pain after difficult event, he will advise you to get down to business. There is work - there is no time to think. If you ask the same question to a Buddhist monk, he will recommend meditation, spiritual development. A mother with many children will say that the child will cure inner emptiness. The rich man will answer that purchases or promising investments will save him. The volunteer will confidently declare that only selfless kindness will relieve sadness. Everyone has their own method. Are there universal ways to free yourself from mental pain? It turns out that yes.

1. Move from the past to the future.

There is no point in dwelling on a problem from the past. If something bad, irreparable happens, then it is better to accept this difficulty, comprehend it once, and then let it go forever. Instead of experiencing difficult moment in your thoughts again and again, it would be good to think about your future. There are several topics you can think about:

  • will this complexity be important in a year, 5, 10, 20 years;
  • how to continue to build life taking into account the events experienced;
  • what kind of people do you want to see around;
  • what dreams seem the most real, interesting, how to realize them;
  • how to set clear goals;
  • what to do for your future today;
  • who you can become in 10 years and how.

It would seem that thoughts about the future will not make a person happy, because it is important to live for today. However, if you think about it, the answers to most of these questions will require action in the near future. Dreams, ambitions, expectations are the future, but the steps to achieve them are the present.

2. Get rid of material reminders.

Things of former partners, deceased relatives, old correspondence, newspaper clippings about other people's victories, instead of their own - all this suggests. Moreover, even gifts, once pleasant photographs can cause pain. If you want to forget a person or an event, it’s time to start cleaning and take out the old trash.

It is better not to give these things to your loved ones, as bad energy is already associated with them. According to psychologists, burning would be a good option. It is important to mentally say goodbye to each item. You can imagine how the threads connecting you with someone or something unpleasant from the past are torn one by one.

3. Stop blaming anyone.

6. Find a Teacher.

There is nothing in nature or society that is completely unique. The same difficulties happen to different people at different times. If your situation seems hopeless, it is better to try to find a person who has already been through this and ask him for advice. You can search for recommendations:

  • in the circle of relatives, friends, their acquaintances;
  • on forums of topics of interest;
  • on the official pages of psychologists, psychotherapists, rhythmologists, and similar specialists;
  • in social network groups;
  • at meetings, peaceful rallies dedicated to the desired issue;
  • among believers, but not fanatical people.

Sometimes a teacher becomes completely stranger, however, his advice turns out to be the most valuable.

7. Don't push away random joys.

Delving deeper into a problem or experience, a person begins to ignore everything that happens around him. After a breakup, a girl doesn’t see how the neighbor guy looks at her with loving eyes. An employee who is not accepted for a vacancy he is interested in does not even open his mail, although other lucrative offers have already accumulated there. A man who lost his wife in a car accident grieves, not noticing how his little daughter prepares breakfast, trying to replace her mother and get her father's attention.