Liz bourbeau 5 injuries rejected. Five injuries that interfere with life

We are talking about five traumas, namely the trauma of rejection, abandonment, humiliation, betrayal and injustice. We are all born with several traumas, but they are experienced in different ways, with different intensities.

Still from the film "Ashes and Snow", © Gregory Colbert

We are talking about five traumas, namely the trauma of rejection, abandonment, humiliation, betrayal and injustice. We are all born with several traumas, but they are experienced in different ways, with different intensities. Traumas originated in a previous life and are present in our new life because we have not learned to heal and accept them.

So, we can conclude that, for example, the trauma of the rejected person originates in a situation where a person rejects another person and does not accept himself in this situation. This experience of rejection is associated with rejection of oneself, which becomes a vicious circle: I reject myself, I reject others and others also reject me…. All this is to help me realize that I am rejecting myself. And so - for every trauma of the soul. Trauma occurs as soon as a person stops accepting himself, just as suddenly numerous wounds, injuries or illnesses can arise in the human body. If a person does not deal with healing this injury, it becomes more and more dangerous and, at the slightest touch, it will hurt more and more. Therefore, only we ourselves must personally realize the importance of healing our own soul traumas in order to create a completely different quality of our lives.

All the troubles, problems, and stress that happen to us can be associated with one of the traumas of the soul. Difficulties can be mental (anxiety, fears, etc.), emotional (guilt, emotions, anger, etc.) or manifest themselves in physical level(illnesses, illnesses, accidents, etc.).

From the moment a child is conceived, traumas begin to be activated by parents or those who played the role of parents. Therefore, it is important to remember that we do not suffer from trauma BECAUSE of our parents, but rather because we needed just such parents with their own traumas so that we could recognize our own traumas, and begin the process of healing them.

Once one of the five traumas is active and we do not accept it, our reactions are instantaneous. It feels like someone is touching an open wound on your body, it hurts you, and you overreact to the touch. Your reaction depends on how severe your injury is. The more painful the wound, the sharper and faster your reaction. When talking about trauma, I call these reactions “wearing masks.” Why? Because we feel pain, and if we don't understand our responsibility, we blame other people for hurting us (or we blame ourselves for feeling pain), and we stop being ourselves. Taking responsibility is feeling pain and trauma and recognizing that the other person did not hurt us, but that the suffering arose because we had not yet addressed the healing of the trauma.

For example, someone steps on your sore and swollen toe. Of course, you react: you are likely to say something unpleasant, push the person away, or even hurt him yourself. Of course, such a reaction is natural. But think about it: if your toe were healthy and someone stepped on your foot, you probably wouldn’t have this reaction. This means that if we react too sharply to some events or people, we cease to be ourselves. And that is why we call reactions masks. Each trauma has its own mask and its own reactions.

You can read a full description of the five traumas of the soul and the masks associated with them in the book “Five Traumas That Prevent You from Being Yourself.” It is not difficult to recognize masks and injuries if you just look closely at the structure of your body. The more characteristics of a particular injury are present in your body, the stronger that particular injury is.

How to heal from soul trauma?

The first step in healing from trauma is to accept and observe yourself when your trauma is active and you are in pain. You may feel rejected, for example, or abandoned, but not wear the appropriate mask. At such moments, you just need to tell yourself that now you feel rejected, and observe your thoughts, feelings and where the pain is located in physical body. You will see how wonderfully simple self-observation can work! Just observing is enough for the pain to subside and for you to feel much better. Your breathing becomes smooth and the pain goes away. This observation technique is also called acceptance.

Another step in healing from trauma is accepting that ALL people, without exception, are born with trauma. The more you give yourself permission to experience trauma, the more compassion and tolerance you will develop for other people. You won't be sensitive to moments when other people put on masks or react emotionally. So, the more you observe yourself, the easier it will be for you to observe others without judgment or blame.

Great effective method healing from soul traumas is to be very attentive to relationships with other people. Whenever you notice yourself reacting to others with pain, trauma, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “If I listened to my needs, what would I do now?”

Take, for example, a woman who is tired after a day of work. She sees that her son (or husband) wants her attention. She would like to be alone and relax. However, because of the abandonment trauma, she is afraid that if she does this, her son or husband will feel abandoned. Most likely, she will not tell anyone about her desire, and will make every effort to provide due attention. If so, then her injury won, and she put on the mask herself.

Gradually, as you heal from trauma, you will become who and what you want to be: the fugitive will learn to assert itself and take its rightful place; the addict will be happy to remain alone, will be able to ask for help only when necessary, and not in order to attract attention; a masochist will express his sensuality without guilt or shame, listening to and satisfying his needs before others. The controller will remain a leader and leader, but will not strive to control and suppress everyone, using lies and manipulation; the rigid one will gain his natural sensuality and give himself the right to be imperfect.

And this is only a small part of the wonderful changes that you will see in your life as you begin to heal from soul trauma. And your surroundings will also be pleasantly surprised as you begin to change before your eyes! Now you only have one thing left to do: make the decision to start healing from soul traumas right now, without waiting for other people to change instead of you. This is the only way you can get a better quality of life, and this will happen only through a unique tool - acceptance, which heals everything!

Dina/ 08/27/2016 The book is excellent, and there are tips and recommendations! But people with low awareness will not be able to apply anything described to it, so for them it is water! And no matter what sensible book is given to such a person, he will always say that it doesn’t work!!!

Alexei

Alexei/ 08/11/2016 Guys, what are you talking about? Any tips and tricks? Have you read the book carefully? “In order to overcome this stage faster, I advise you to analyze every evening everything that happened during the day. Ask yourself which mask took over and forced you to react in such and such a situation, dictating such and such behavior towards others or to yourself. Take a little time to write down your observations; especially do not forget to mention how you felt. In the end, forgive yourself and give yourself the right to use this mask: after all, at that moment you sincerely believed that it was the only remedy. your protection." Isn't this advice, isn't it a recommendation? In general, the book is designed to work with the subconscious, for independent work with the unconscious state of our consciousness. The doctor gives you the pills. Good book, it gives the main thing - the reasons that provoked this or that mental state are indicated. If you understand the reason, then the brain itself will find a solution to get out of this state. Although, independent work Not everyone can do it; some need to see a psychologist or psychotherapist.

Mrs_Smith/ 04/01/2016 The book is interesting and clear in presentation. But purely theory, only as information for general development! There are no practical advice, recommendations. And now, after reading it, you sit and think about how to continue to live;)

Alesya, 28/ 01/23/2016 There are many similar books, but Burbo surprised me with an unusual mixture of powdered psychology and some kind of mysticism-religion. The book will appeal to those who are engaged in self-digging, but will not help in any way. It’s worth reading for general development, but only for people with higher education.

Olya/ 11/30/2015 An excellent book, I recommended it with trepidation to my closest people, whom I wish happiness. It is written in an accessible way, everyone who has read it should not stop reading - I am keeping a “trauma diary”, which was recommended at the end of the book. It's easy and useful. Greatly raises awareness

Karina/ 01/24/2015 Also grateful to Mira for the advice! Character psychotherapy goes much deeper.

Fedorov Tatiana/ 04/10/2014 I express my gratitude to Mira and other commentators who recommend professional literature, which helps many times more)) Burbo is better read by mothers and grandmothers who need simplicity and inspiration more than deep elaboration and freedom!
To each his own!)))

Mira/ 03/12/2014 Liz Burbo quite well summarized the material, which is considered much more deeply in more serious books, for example, Johnson ("Character Therapy"), the same A. Lowen. The peculiarity of such near-psychotherapeutic books as Liz Burbo's is in the presentation of the material , more emotional and inviting.
Another question is that Liz Burbo in her book, apart from diagnosing injuries, does not offer any specific solutions! The book should be called "Diagnostics", but not "Healing Trauma".
While reading, I got the feeling that I was being led around the bush, constantly hinting that injuries can be healed, but only without offering a single practical psychotherapeutic recommendation.
Again, if you are interested in elaboration, pay attention to S. Johnson’s book “Character Therapy”, which is also in our beloved Cube :)

Anya/ 03/04/2014 I read the book in one sitting, and I’m simply delighted with it! So far, for me, this is the only book thanks to which I was able to understand myself. Many thanks to the author for the book and to the site for the opportunity to download it without any problems. I think this book is definitely worth reading.

Svetlana/ 02/24/2014 Liz Burbo's books helped me a lot in self-knowledge. But I couldn’t solve my problems through Liz Burbo’s book and seminars, despite the fact that I began to look at life differently. And all this is very useful and interesting. After what I went through, I can only say one thing: self-knowledge is never will replace the help of a professional psychotherapist who will help you avoid unnecessary soul-searching and just start living. Although, of course, it is not a fact that working with a psychotherapist without Liz Bourbeau’s books would have been much longer.

Irina 26/ 6.11.2013 This is the only book in my life, out of the huge amount that I have read on a similar topic, that really helped me understand myself and find answers to numerous questions regarding childhood, adolescence and youth, as they say. I re-read the book 3 times, and each time I discover something new both about myself and about the people around me!!! The only advice I can give to everyone who wants to get acquainted with the book, and in the process, themselves, is You must have a conscious desire to hear and listen to what the author says, believe me, these are not empty words. Enjoy reading.

Dina/ 10/18/2013 For all the time of my soul-searching, all sorts of meditations on forgiveness, letting go of the past and other things, nothing has helped me as much as this book. I bought the paper version, it seems to me that I couldn’t live without it, and I also gave the book to my loved ones. But some people simply discarded it, while others still read it...

Yana/ 08/06/2013 I read the book. I will re-read it. The book is amazing. Everyone will understand how to interpret or use what is described in the book based on their level of preparation on this topic.

Leonid/ 05/24/2013 Burbo's book - for beginners. And it helps very well to master the concepts of bodily psychotherapy.
And deliverance is the result of working with a therapist.
There is also physical psychotherapy via Skype.

guest/ 03/10/2013 to favorites it’s like

Viola/ 02.22.2013 "Natalia
I recommend it to those who are going to seriously work on themselves with a psychotherapist. will save money"
Well, they made me laugh!!! Here, gentlemen, is an example of a person who DOESN’T KNOW a single grain of what she is trying(!) to talk about.
It is better to read, albeit simple, literature on psychotherapy than Bourbeau’s tautology. Blah blah, she powdered the look on people, but mixed everything in one pot, and didn’t tell them what to do. Because either he doesn’t know (then he needs to study), or he does it on purpose.

Natalia/ 01/20/2013 I recommend it to those who are going to seriously work on themselves with a psychotherapist. will save money

Andrey/ 11/13/2012 But I didn’t like it, although I read one chapter about a fugitive, so this is nonsense, I can criticize it to smithereens...

Galina/ 01/26/2012 The book is very good because it is very professional concepts the author is trying to convey in simple words, giving examples of course. The main thing here is self-awareness. When we realize a problem, we subconsciously also know the solution, but we resist because we don’t want to lose what we’ve lived with for so many years. Good luck to everyone! Open yourself up, with books like these it becomes easier to do.

Guest/ 01/12/2012 The book changed my life. I re-read it several times, each time discovering more and more new aspects of my problems. As a result, my relationships with my parents, those around me, and most importantly with myself somehow improved; I even suddenly began to lose weight without much effort, despite many years of persistent but unsuccessful attempts to lose weight. This great book. Be sure to read it.

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Business book description:

In this book, Liz BURBO talks about the personal responsibility of each person - responsibility not to someone, but to himself, to his soul, to his own health.

Any mental trauma inflicted on anyone, you inevitably inflict on yourself. For a long time. So that suffering is passed on from generation to generation; they are not even realized because they are considered commonplace. From childhood traumas, from habitual suffering, massive, universal suffering grows and takes the form of social, state, and world crises.

The quiet voice of Liz BURBO is heard by many. Her teachings and her books are a huge success. Because they affect everyone personally. Betrayal, injustice, humiliation, the torment of a rejected, abandoned soul - these, as Burbo shows, are deeply personal traumas; but are they not the basis, if not the essence, of all human suffering?

It turns out that there is no need to complain about someone or something, there is no need to catch and punish villains, since an inveterate villain - he is also a martyr - sits in each of us. Is it possible, and how, to free him from both suffering and villainy?

Find the answer in this book and use it!

Copyright holders!

This book is supposedly in "public domain" status. If you believe that this is not true and the posting of material violates your or someone else’s rights, please let us know.

I recommend a slow and thoughtful reading of Liz Burbo’s book “5 Injuries That Prevent You from Being Yourself.” This book is a good intellectual assistant when it comes time to understand our childhood grievances and traumas that affect our adult life and to this day.

But in order to do something practically with old childhood psychological traumas and grievances, you need the help of a specialist. Come, I can work with this practically. And there is a result. Tel. 79-28-12 or 8-909-124-96-88, Nadezhda Yuryevna Yasinskaya.

Liz Burbo, as a result of her many years of practice, has identified 5 psychological traumas that prevent us from living. These traumas are very deeply and firmly hidden in our Soul, and in life we ​​put on “masks” so as not to experience pain, betrayal and humiliation again. The fear of being abandoned or rejected again forces us to adhere to a certain pattern of behavior so that no one will ever guess about our suffering, not even ourselves.

5 injuries that interfere with life:

1. Trauma – Rejected

“A person who has received this injury does not feel the right to exist in this world. It may be an unwanted child who was nevertheless born, or it may be a child who was rejected by a parent of the same sex from the moment of birth to one year. Such a person has been wearing the “Fugitive” mask since childhood; he longs to run away, disappear, evaporate and not take up so much space. For this reason, by the way, he looks very thin, even skinny, since the body reacts to subconscious desire. You will always see fear in the eyes of a fugitive, he is very unsure of himself, he feels awkward in large companies, is always silent and tries to disappear as quickly as possible and find himself in such comfortable solitude. Another one characteristic feature the fugitive - the desire for perfection in everything; if he does something, he does it perfectly or does not begin to do it at all. In this way, he tries to realize himself and prove to himself that there is something to love him for. People suffering from the trauma of being rejected often have problems with the skin, since it is the organ of contact with the outside world; problematic skin seems to push away from itself external world and says with all his appearance: “Don’t touch me.” Also, such people tend to suffer from diarrhea, since they themselves suffer from the trauma of being rejected, they reject food that has not had time to be digested. For the same reason, they may often vomit. Some escapees escape from reality with the help of alcohol, this helps them temporarily disappear and stop experiencing aching pain.”

2. Trauma - abandoned

“A person who carries this trauma within himself received it because of a parent of the opposite sex, since he did not pay him due attention, did not show care and love. This is why someone suffering from abandonment trauma experiences constant emotional hunger and strives to “catch on” to another person in order to satisfy this hunger. The mask used by the abandoned is “Dependent”. He is sure that he cannot achieve anything on his own, without the support of other people, he simply needs words of approval and advice, which he then, by the way, does not follow. The main thing for him is to have a person nearby whom he can rely on, since he is not confident in his abilities. The addict’s physique corresponds to his injury: a thin, long body that has underdeveloped muscles. From the outside it seems that the muscular system will not support his body and in order not to fall, the person simply needs to lean on someone. This happens in life too. Experiencing emotional hunger, the addict strives to find at least someone to depend on. At the same time, he does not know how to control his emotions: he gets upset over a trifle, cries easily, and after a minute he can laugh again. Such a person is usually very suspicious, inclined to exaggerate and dramatize everything, “making mountains out of molehills” - this is about her. More than anything else, an addict is afraid of loneliness, because then there is no one to get attention, support and help from. A person suffering from abandonment trauma often has a childish timbre of voice, likes to ask a lot of questions and has difficulty accepting rejection, as this again makes him feel abandoned. The most common diseases associated with this injury are asthma, myopia, migraines and depression.”

3. Trauma - humiliated

“A humiliated child experiences insults, criticism, and reproach from the very beginning. early age, but most often the trauma of the humiliated person manifests itself if the child hears all this from the mother in the period from 1 to 3 years. If the mother accuses the child, making him feel guilty and ashamed, then he, in turn, perceives this as humiliation, especially if the conversation takes place in front of strangers. In the future, such a child puts on the “Masochist” mask. This means that all his life a person will look for problems, humiliation and various situations in which he can suffer. Since childhood, he has experienced humiliation, has not heard a kind word, so he does not consider himself worthy of a different attitude, even to himself. Since he is used to always being ashamed of everything, the body listens to his subconscious and grows in its volume. A masochist takes up a lot of space not only in space, but also in the lives of other people. He strives to help everyone, solve problems for them, give advice and point out. Such a person seems kind because he voluntarily takes part in the problems of other people, but in fact this behavior is motivated by the fear of shame in front of others and himself. He is ready to do everything so that he is no longer criticized and finally praised! A masochist is usually hypersensitive, the slightest trifle hurts and offends him, but he, as a rule, does not even notice those moments when he offends and hurts other people. A person with the trauma of humiliation often suffers from back diseases, since he takes an unbearable burden on his shoulders - responsibility for the lives of other people, as well as respiratory diseases, when he is suffocated by other people's problems, thyroid gland, since it is difficult for him to realize his needs and express his own requirements."

4. Trauma – betrayal

“This trauma is experienced by a child aged 2-4 years with a parent of the opposite sex. The child feels that the parent has betrayed him every time he does not keep his word, prefers someone else over him, or when he abuses the child’s trust. In this case, the child, in order not to feel the pain of the injury, wears a “Controller” mask. The body develops in accordance with this mask, it radiates strength and power, showing with all its appearance that the owner is a responsible person and can be trusted. Such a person is confident in his abilities, he loves to be the first and the best, he is used to controlling himself and others. He is very demanding of others as well as himself and is often disappointed that he cannot trust them with anything and has to do everything himself. The controller loves speed in his actions, so he gets very annoyed when someone does his job slowly. Often such a person becomes aggressive if the situation gets out of his control. He tries to foresee and plan everything in order to avoid another betrayal in his life. He rarely listens to others and acts as he sees fit, but demands from others that they strictly follow his recommendations. People who carry the trauma of betrayal most often suffer from problems with the digestive system, agrophobia, joint diseases and diseases whose names end in –it.”

5. Trauma is injustice

“A child experiences this trauma primarily with a same-sex parent between the ages of three and five. Protective mask – “Rigidity”. Rigid strives for justice and perfection, it is very difficult for him to understand that what he does may seem unfair to others and vice versa - how others treat him may seem unfair only to him, since he suffers from this trauma. The rigid physique is perfect and proportional, because this is fair... Such a person is very hardworking, he has always been valued for his achievements and successes, and not just like that. But he is often prone to conflicts, as he is an ardent fighter for justice. Most great fear for a rigid person it is the fear of making a mistake, because then he may act unfairly towards others, and he tries to prevent this. Unfortunately, a rigid person often refuses the blessings of life if he considers it unfair for others and envies others if he believes that they are not worthy of it. In such a constant struggle, he earns himself nervous exhaustion, loss of vision and insomnia.”

The first step to healing the 5 traumas that interfere with your life is to become aware of them, accept them, and then work with them.

Find and read this and maybe other books by Liz Burbo - they will tell you a lot about yourself. And this is important knowledge.