1. Taking care of yourself
Since childhood, we have been repeated so many times: ““ I ” is the last letter of the alphabet,” that for many it was imprinted in the subcortex of the brain. For these people, completely natural and for its own good has become something shameful and unworthy. Although without this property it is impossible to live any successful life.
You should not put your life on the altar of self-sacrifice, because most often this only harms the people “made happy” by you.
2. Expression of emotions
We are used to feeling embarrassed for our tears or laughter. Although this is a completely natural manifestation of the fact that you have a heart and soul, which, perhaps, is greater than that of the owners of a calm grimace stuck at all times.
You can experience sadness, fun, boredom, enthusiasm, you are a living person. Why hide it?
3. Forgiveness
Only people with really big hearts have the ability to forgive. And let people around you be surprised that you give a hand to your enemies or did not finish off the enemy when there was a great opportunity for this - you should not worry about this. Do not show unnecessary cruelty just because someone expects it from you.
4. Beliefs
A person with conviction commands respect. A person with convictions, who does not hide them and is able to stand up for them, commands respect doubly. Having firm principles is such a rare and precious quality in our time that one certainly shouldn't apologize for them.
It's not at all strange - to be. It is strange, on the contrary, when a group of people looks, thinks and feels exactly the same. If you are lucky to be different than everyone else, then this is not a reason to be ashamed. Perhaps this is your main advantage.
6. How and with whom you spend your time
Time is the only value that is really worth cherishing. And it would not be too prudent to spend this precious resource, guided by the opinions of people completely strangers to you.
Lying on your deathbed, you will most likely not regret that you worked so little, but remember the time you spent with loved ones, friends, in interesting places, doing your favorite things.
7. Failure
Oh, this is a favorite phobia of many people! The fear that you will try, you will not succeed and everyone around you will mock you. They will remember this forever, and the shame of this failure will haunt you for the rest of your life.
But before you hide in the darkest corner, imagine such a picture.
Here you are - a person who tried, but failed. And here is another, one who was afraid to even try. So which one of you should apologize?
8. Youth
Yes, each of us has moments in the past that we cannot be proud of. Why are we there, look through the biographies of the greats - there such facts sometimes pop up that make your hair stand on end.
Youth is meant for that, to commit madness and try this life on the tooth. All the wise old people used to be young and stupid, they did it and, perhaps, this is how they gained wisdom. No one has escaped such a path in their life, so there is nothing to be ashamed of.
9. Appearance
Another source of complexes for many people. Yes, and how can one not be complex here, when the covers of fashion magazines and the fashion industry obsessively hammer the correct canons of style into us, and far from everyone succeeds in complying with them.
Yes, an unfashionably dressed overweight person can cause smiles. But this person will attract even more attention if he becomes convulsively complex about his appearance. Therefore, if your relationship with fashion and beauty does not work out, then relax and forget it. Look at this lady, isn't she beautiful?
Constant attempts to justify yourself to others can lead to the fact that you miss a unique chance to be yourself, with all your shortcomings and virtues. You will spend your whole life in a state of deaf defense, defending yourself from the fictitious claims of society. However, it is unlikely that such tactics will lead you to success, because only the one who goes forward and does not apologize for it wins.
In principle, it is better not to make excuses ever. If you make excuses, then you are a priori guilty. When you are reproached for something, the best answer is to silently turn around and leave. Discussion here is also unlikely to help. Remember that this is your life. And since only you are responsible for it, then decide what to do in different situations only to you. So, in what cases are you definitely not obliged to report to anyone?
1. Life situation
Many "kind" people for "your own good" may reproach you that, for example, having gray hair, you still do not have your own home or family. It is generally blasphemous when they give valuable instructions if you do not have children. And in principle, how many people, so many life situations. And only you understand the reasons for your actions in different situations. Nobody is in your place.2. Priorities in life
We all have our own values in life, our aspirations, our goals, our priorities, our dreams. Only you know that this moment put in the first place. Many are accustomed to imposing their priorities on others. Sometimes it's just a cliché. For example, you often hear that “children are the main thing, and only they should be in the forefront, the rest is not important” and stuff like that. In the end, it can hurt other people's feelings. After all, if there are no children, then it turns out that there is nothing “important” in the life of these people.3. Ask for forgiveness or not?
For many, this is not an issue at all. One of my former friends never apologized to anyone. Offended - not offended, he does not care. But if a person does not have a sense of guilt, then he himself will not understand why he should ask for forgiveness! On the other hand, too hasty an apology can be seen as a desire for a person to quickly unhook from you. So if you don't feel guilty, don't apologize. A banal apology does not come from the heart, then what's the point?4. When you want to be alone
Basically, we are, or are forced to be in society. Most of them are. But there are people who are also comfortable being alone (like me). Refusal of invitations to spend time in the company is often perceived inadequately. For example, as arrogance, even asociality. But you should not make excuses that you feel good in your own company. Let them think what they want.5. Personal beliefs
Sometimes, some people present their personal beliefs as the ultimate truth. And demanding that they agree. If your personal beliefs do not coincide with these, do not nod in solidarity. It is better to protest or leave, because if you just listen, you can accumulate internal resentment or disappointment. Do you need it?6. "No!"
A golden word that many of us, unfortunately, cannot say. Need to study. Do not think that you will offend someone by your refusal. If you do a favor to a person, but through force, being afraid to refuse, then you will have internal tension and irritation with this person. Put your priorities ahead of other people's priorities. Don't let yourself be distracted from your goals.7. Appearance
Do not make excuses and complexes about your appearance. You can dislike everything about your body. You can wear whatever you want. For some, your appearance may be strange, but that's their business. Don't let anyone make comments about your appearance. How you look is your own business.8. Kitchen
We all have our own food preferences and that's okay. I've met several people in my life who didn't hesitate to "fut" during the whole process of eating. You see, they did not like this or that product. But this is a matter of tact. You don't have to make excuses that you love a particular product or that it's useful.9. Sexual life
There are many who like to delve into someone else's underwear. Often, you can’t achieve reciprocity with these people in such matters, well, it’s not necessary. Who you sleep with or just spend time with is your own business. Moreover, whether you are married or have casual relationships, no one should be worried either.10. Personal choice
What is more important: personal life or career? It's extremely Difficult choice, which can cost you a lot of nerves. However, you yourself weigh everything on the scales, you yourself make a choice and you yourself are responsible for it. And no one is obliged to explain why you did it this way and not otherwise. Do not be afraid of condemnation, the main thing is your confidence in right choice.11. Social views
Be it religious, political or otherwise. There is a considerable proportion of people who consider only their own views to be exclusively correct. As usual, they impose these views on others. Perhaps this is the most painful issue, since there are big problems in the religious and political divide in the world. What's the point of arguing over whose faith is cooler? It's up to you which god to pray to, in every sense.12. Loneliness
Alas, in our society, lonely people are treated ambiguously. If you are not married (not married), then you have big problems. As if in families where there is not the slightest harmony, there are no problems. Your freedom is your choice, which does not concern anyone.13. Requests for a date
Surely, in your environment there are a lot of matchmakers whom you don’t feed with honey, but let them marry your neighbor. Moreover, usually such people have little order in their families. In my experience, this doesn't end well. If you are unsympathetic to the person who is being imposed on you, refuse to meet.14. Marriage Decision
Any: either about marriage, or rejection of it. No matter how your loved ones push you, motivating you to babysit your grandchildren or nephews, don’t be fooled by provocations. Remember that it is up to you to live with the second half. And if you have chosen a life free from marriage ties, your family will have to come to terms with it.15. Relationship selection
When we enter into romantic relationships, we make mistakes, but we are responsible for them and we learn from them. Often friends or relatives unceremoniously intervene in a relationship between two people, saying that you, for example, are not a couple, that you need someone else. Maybe needed. But that's up to you. In the end, any relationship, even not very pleasant, must have its end.
Often we apologize out of concern for what others will think of us, or because we put their feelings ahead of our own needs. But in our life there are many situations where apologies are not needed.
We will share 15 situations in which you do not need to apologize, even if you previously thought differently.
No apologies for love
Rejoice in the fact that you are able to love. There are many people in the world who are afraid to love another. And it doesn’t matter who you fell in love with, and whether your feelings are mutual. The fact that you can love is what matters.
No apologies for the word "no"
Respecting your boundaries is an indicator of self-respect. If you can't give yourself 100 percent to something, you should never apologize for it. The ability to say "no" is the hallmark of a good leader.
No regrets for a dream
Your life is yours, and if you live with regret, that's your choice. Never apologize for following your dream, because that is what defines you. You can make your life truly fulfilling only by making your dreams come true, and not by living your life dreaming.
No apologies for taking time for yourself
It is possible to achieve a harmonious, happy, successful life by taking time for yourself. Always take care of your needs and needs and take time for yourself to do what brings you joy.
No apologies for what matters to you
Never let yourself feel guilty about what is important to you. Always take care to follow your prioritization. If it's important to you, then it's important. The people who really deserve to be in your life will accept your choice.
No Apologies for Ending a Toxic Relationship
You don't have to apologize for walking away from someone who hurts you. Understanding that unhealthy relationships are dragging you down and draining your energy is the first step to success. Respect yourself, be in the company of those who help you become better and move forward.
No apologies for your imperfection
Imperfections are what makes you beautiful and unique. And this is what you need to accept as part of yourself. Never apologize for the qualities that make you imperfectly perfect.
No apologies for your values
Never apologize for your values, moral views, religious affiliation, or spiritual beliefs. Leaders never apologize for what they believe.
No apologies for not knowing the answer
Learn all your life and you will never grow old. Never say you're sorry when you meet someone you can learn from. Being able to admit that you might not know something is a sign of strength and modesty.
No apologies for high expectations
Do not apologize for expecting from others what you do yourself. Having high expectations only means that you care about others enough to expect the best from them.
No apologies for taking care of yourself
Never apologize for taking care of yourself. Buying yourself something good, you increase self-esteem. Happy and successful people know their needs and the importance of meeting them. happy life.
No apologies for others
Everyone is responsible for their own behavior and actions. You don't have to apologize for others, even if you feel they may associate with you.
No apologies for creativity
Never apologize for not knowing, for example, the steps of a dance, or perhaps not dancing well or not getting into the rhythm - just dance! The joy of dancing is worth any embarrassment.
No apologies for the long reply
Successful people understand that prioritization can sometimes affect the response rate of emails and calls. Never apologize for answering the most important things first.
No apologies for the truth
Strong people tell the truth. Never apologize for your strength. Even if the truth is not always pleasant, the benefits of honesty are much more important than the temporary pain of the truth.
Be honest with yourself and don't worry about what others might think of you. Excessive guilt and inappropriate apologies lower self-esteem. Only apologize when you actually made a mistake.
Do you find yourself saying the word "sorry" a lot? You have an excessive sense of guilt. Share your experience. We all learn from each other.
Have you ever wondered how to properly apologize? Of course, each of us knows that a simple "I'm sorry" is clearly not enough. Apologizing is a real art. This is why many of us find it so difficult to learn how to apologize properly. Of course, first of all, the person from whom you are asking for forgiveness should feel that it comes from you with a pure heart. Your interlocutor should understand that you really regret what was said, and do not apologize "just for show." If you do not apologize in time and do not admit your mistakes, you can ruin even the best and strongest relationship forever. But, how to learn to apologize not just beautifully, but also correctly? Today we will try to understand this difficult issue.
"I'm sorry" is just the beginning
This phrase is suitable for children in kindergarten who will apologize for a selected pencil or a broken cube. For adult relationships (whether family or love), this is extremely small. The person should know that you are not just uttering formulaic words, you really want to be forgiven, so you are very repentant. You should explain to the interlocutor what exactly you are apologizing for, so it will be easier for him to believe in your sincerity.
Five Steps to a Successful Apology
Of course, this is a whole art to apologize, but there are several step-by-step steps in it.
First, admit guilt.
Second, explain why you did what you did.
The third is to express your remorse.
Fourth - offer to make amends (this will be appropriate if you caused some damage to a person, but will not work if you dragged a friend's wife into bed).
Fifth - listen to the interlocutor.
Is it right to always be honest?
Honesty is a trait we remember too late. But still try to be honest with your loved ones, because then at such a moment it will be a little easier for you. And in addition to your own guilt, you don’t have to apologize for the lie. In the art of apology, there is such a step as "strategic apology", this is a lie whose main goal is to increase the self-esteem of the victim (if in this case it was affected).
Apology will take time
If receiving this forgiveness is important, you should be prepared for the fact that this can be a rather lengthy process. Not all people are ready to immediately understand and forgive, someone needs to think, come to their senses, understand whether you should even give a second chance - you need to be ready for this. If, after all the sincere apologies and persuasions you have accepted, the interlocutor does not give his forgiveness, then in this case only time will become a healer. Try to somehow sweeten the situation, ask if he needs something, if you can somehow influence his favorable decision, but in no case put pressure on the person.
It's never too late to apologize!
It is necessary to apologize immediately after making a mistake and realizing it. But due to various life situations, there are times when apologies are brought in five, ten, forty years. In general, it doesn’t matter when, because it’s never too late to remove the stone load from your soul, the main thing is to be heard.
Now that you know the five steps to forgiveness, it will be easier for you to apologize. Of course, it would be great to never be wrong, but alas, we are only human.
Life will become much easier if you learn one of the main rules that no one owes anything to anyone. There is no need to make excuses to anyone for anything.
- Your life situation and your circumstances do not need any explanation or justification. If you are divorced, you still do not have children, you live with your parents, although you are already well over 30, or you welcome a civil marriage - you should not explain to anyone the reasons for your actions. Only you are fully aware of all the circumstances and subtleties of your life, which means that you have good reasons to create and maintain it just like that, and these reasons do not concern anyone but you.
- Your ideas, beliefs and priorities do not need proof and approval from the outside. All thoughts about how to build your life, what values to rely on and what can be done for the happiness and well-being of your close environment and yourself are yours. individual program. Each person is unique in his own way, respectively, his views, dreams, values and aspirations, and priorities are also unique. different people may be fundamentally different. You are a mature person who sets priorities herself, and there is no need to report to anyone on them.
- You do not have to apologize and make excuses if you are not ashamed. There is no point in "fictitiously" asking for forgiveness, if you do not feel guilty or if you are not sorry. Very often, people try to quickly apologize in order to smooth out the conflict and heal the "hole" in the relationship, while deep down understanding that they are wrong. Such imaginary requests for forgiveness cause irreparable harm to the one who asks, and rather do not restore, but rather destroy the relationship. In any case, in this life you owe only to yourself, therefore, first of all, take care of your own peace of mind.
- Time spent alone with yourself is your personal living space. You do not need to enter into a long explanation and make excuses if you have a need to be alone. There is no need to be afraid to earn a reputation as an unsociable and anti-social person if you need a breather or time out to relax and “reset”. Even if you just wanted to read a book alone, then you have every right to do so. For most people, such breaks in communication are simply necessary from time to time. So feel free to refuse invitations or change plans if you feel the need for a vacation, without inventing non-existent reasons for excuses.
- There is no need to agree with anyone's position. Do not pretend by nodding your head that you agree with the beliefs that are passionately trying to impose on you, but which are very far from your own. It is not only wrong, but also unfair, to show approval against one's will. This applies to both your opponent and yourself. Why accumulate disappointment, disagreement or irritation inside, if you can simply disagree or calmly object, arguing your point of view.
- You don't have to say "yes" at all. You have the right to say “no” and refuse a person if you do not have serious reasons and arguments to agree. The art of refusal is one of the main success factors, because a person does not engage in those things that are not a priority for him and do not correspond to him. life values. Of course, no one calls for being ungrateful or not acknowledging the kindness of other people, but firmly say "no" to everything that interferes or distracts you from your own path and goals.
- Your appearance is your personal manifestation in the world. You can be bald or curly, slim or strong, handsome or ordinary, but you don’t need to explain to anyone why you are that way. Appearance should not have a significant impact on self-esteem and self-confidence. You are a unique human being who has every right to express yourself.
- Do not even try to explain to someone your taste preferences. What you eat and what you like is only for your benefit. Some foods may be unacceptable to you for various reasons, ranging from their appearance and taste to individual intolerance. If someone, especially persistent and indelicate, pesters you with questions like why you eat (do not eat), then you should not pay attention to such provocations. As a last resort, answer that you feel much better when you eat like this.
Do not waste your precious time and energy on any excuses that, moreover, no one needs.
