Age limits of the midlife crisis. Midlife crisis. Female midlife crisis

A long-term tense emotional state, characterized by depressive symptoms due to an overestimation of one’s personal life experience, is called a midlife crisis. The development of a midlife crisis begins.

As a rule, within the range of 35-55 years, and it manifests itself in constant regret about irretrievably lost time, missed opportunities, unfulfilled dreams and intentions.

In this case, it may occur a whole series various emotional outbursts associated with thoughts of impending old age and death.

Signs of a midlife crisis

Various symptoms, as well as signs of a midlife crisis, play a decisive role in how it will manifest itself externally. this state:

• The subject's tendency to ignore positive things about him and his life values. A person in every possible way refuses any results achieved in life, considering them completely insignificant.
• Expressed self-pity, a feeling of lack of any desires and goals, internal devastation.
• The subject begins to see in social statuses, for example, in marriage and career growth, exclusively negative aspects, characterizing them as “life traps” that became the reason for his imperfection.
• The sudden formation of depression, which can be manifested by an absolute loss of interest in things and activities that previously occupied an important place in the subject’s life.
• A sudden change in an individual’s personal values, a radical change in social circle.
• Constant complaints about injustice in life, loss of any interest in further existence.

All of the listed manifestations are quite dangerous, as they can unsettle even completely successful person who seemingly has everything he needs in life. Moreover, such a condition can completely destroy a strong family, relationships, and career.

Problems Causing Midlife Crisis

Modern American psychologist K. Peck was able to identify the main problems that cause a midlife crisis. Most of them are very relevant to the modern pace of life.

• The need arises to change the orientation of a particular activity from physical to mental. Very often this occurs as a result of significant changes in the physiology of the body.
• Some biological changes in middle age in men can lead to a forced recognition of social priorities above sexual ones.
• Events such as quarrels, losses of friends and loved ones, disruption of previously established life routines cause specific emotional impoverishment. As a result of this condition, there is a need to create some emotional flexibility.
• The need to overcome previously established mental straightforwardness. The need to develop some mental agility.
• Excessive separation between different life interests, such as work and family, which conflict with each other. Such “collisions” most often lead middle-aged people to disaster.
• Excessive attention to the emerging problem of impending old age and one’s probable death.

Middle-aged people are, in a way, a link between the younger generation and the elderly. In most cases, the majority falls on them social functions which lead to various social conflicts.

Against the backdrop of an understanding of duties and responsibilities, as well as the lack of opportunity to live a dream, like their children, or memories, like the elderly, a person in middle age regrets previously missed opportunities and wants to somehow compensate for them.

The first reason for the development of a midlife crisis may be the maturation of one’s own children. The separation of an adult child from the family is a rather stressful situation for parents, although it does have positive aspects. For example, a lot of additional free time is formed, which can be spent on your hobbies and favorite pastimes.

The next prerequisite is, as a rule, the relationship of middle-aged people with aging parents. The problem is that time. already freed from children, they redirect to maximum contact with the elderly, which ultimately aggravates their personal dissatisfaction in life. In addition, the banal pallor of previously attractive friendships can provoke a midlife crisis.

Female midlife crisis

Constant attempts to find some novelty in familiar feelings, high irritability and a tendency to aggression, pronounced dissatisfaction with one’s own life and constant emotional outbursts - this is what a woman’s midlife crisis is expressed in.

At the same time, various external symptoms are also noted, manifested in: pallor of previous feelings towards her husband, pronounced mental alienation from her children, feelings of anxiety and constant uncertainty, dissatisfaction with changes in appearance, regret about the years lived, dissatisfaction with professional activities.

Quite often, the reason is her own reflection in the mirror: a woman is driven into despair by watching her gray hair appear, wrinkles form, and her overall appearance change. It is worth noting that the process of external aging in women develops somewhat faster than in men.

In this situation, psychologists advise not to focus on such changes, because they are completely natural. You should not live in memories of how you looked before, but take care of your appearance in the current moment, remembering that you can look attractive even in middle age.

The paradox is that the midlife crisis quite often pushes women to various new achievements in their lives. So many career women achieved success in middle age. For this reason, psychologists recommend that women who are restrained by routine take up some personal business, but women “businessmen”, on the contrary, are recommended to start a family.

Male midlife crisis

Middle age for men is a gradual decline in their physical abilities and capabilities. Very often there is a picture when a 40-year-old man suddenly quits completely successful work, withdraws from a large and extensive social circle, falls into depression.

A man's midlife crisis is a kind of rebellion against all the rules surrounding him. If a man develops this condition, then he will direct his activities in every possible way in order to find the answer to the question: “How to find yourself in life.” Therefore, males in middle age are characterized by an exacerbation of all adolescent complexes, which are characterized by a capricious “I want” instead of an adult “need”.

While in search, a man strives to try on as many different social roles and masks as possible, but he never finds a specific life goal. It is important to understand that a midlife crisis is a reassessment of values, a kind of transitional stage that can be completely overcome.

As a rule, banal support from a man’s family and, in particular, his wife is enough for this. Increased attention from the wife, love and understanding, joint appreciation of new hobbies and adding variety to life - all these are the main methods of combating depression in men in middle age.

The crisis in men in middle age varies quite widely over time. For some it goes away within a year, for others it takes six months. In any case, after this period, the man stops feeling sorry for himself and reconsiders his values ​​in the family, work, and relationships. By acquiring emotional harmony, he consciously accepts his life.

3. Factors for resolving the crisis

References

1. General psychological characteristics midlife period

In psychology, the period of middle adulthood is usually called the period in a person’s life from 35 to 45 years. The boundaries of this age period are not fixed. Some researchers consider both 30 and 50 year olds to be middle age.

At the age of 40-50, a person finds himself in conditions that are psychologically significantly different from the previous ones. By this time, quite a lot of life and professional experience has already been accumulated, the children have grown up, and relationships with them have acquired a qualitatively new character, the parents have grown old and they need help. Natural physiological changes begin to occur in the human body, to which he also has to adapt: ​​vision deteriorates, reactions slow down, sexual potency in men weakens, women experience menopause, which many of them endure physically and mentally with extreme difficulty. Many people begin to develop health problems.

There is a relative decrease in the characteristics of psychophysical functions. However, this does not in any way affect the functioning of a person’s cognitive sphere, does not reduce his performance, allowing him to maintain labor and creative activity.

Therefore, contrary to expectations of a decrease intellectual development After it reaches its peak during adolescence, the development of certain human abilities continues throughout middle age.

Fluid intelligence reaches its maximum development in adolescence, but in middle adulthood its indicators decline. Maximum development of crystallized intelligence becomes possible only upon reaching middle adulthood.

The intensity of the involution of a person’s intellectual functions depends on two factors: talent and education, which resist aging, inhibiting the involutionary process.

Features of a person’s intellectual development and indicators of his intellectual capabilities largely depend on the personal characteristics of a person, his life attitudes, plans and life values.

The main feature of this age can be defined as a person’s achievement of a state of wisdom. During this period of life, a person has extensive factual and procedural knowledge, the ability to evaluate events and information in a broader context, and the ability to cope with uncertainty. Despite the fact that due to biological changes occurring in the human body during middle adulthood, the speed and accuracy of information processing decreases, the ability to use information remains the same. Moreover, although cognitive processes in a middle-aged person may proceed more slowly than in young man, the efficiency of his thinking is higher.

Thus, despite the decline in psychophysical functions, middle adulthood is probably one of the most productive periods in human creativity.

The development of a person’s affective sphere at this age proceeds unevenly.

This age can be a period of flourishing for a person. family life, career or creativity. But at the same time, he increasingly begins to think that he is mortal and that his time is running out.

One of the main features of the period of middle adulthood is the extreme subjectivity of a person when assessing his age.

This period of a person's life has an extremely high potential for stress, and people often experience depression and feelings of loneliness.

crisis middle age psychological

During middle adulthood, the personality's self-concept is enriched with new self-images, taking into account constantly changing situational relationships and variations in self-esteem, and determines all interactions. The essence of the self-concept becomes self-actualization within the limits of moral rules and personal values.

The leading type of activity in middle adulthood can be called work, successful professional activity that ensures self-actualization of the individual.

2. Characteristics of a midlife crisis

As K. Jung believed, the closer the middle of life, the stronger than man it seems that the right ideals and principles of behavior have been found. However, too often social affirmation occurs at the expense of the loss of the integrity of the personality, the hypertrophied development of one or another aspect of it. In addition, many try to transfer the psychology of the youth phase over the threshold of maturity. Therefore, at the age of 35-40, depression and certain neurotic disorders become more frequent, which indicate the onset of a crisis. According to Jung, the essence of this crisis is a person’s meeting with his unconscious. But in order for a person to meet his unconscious, he must make a transition from an extensive position to an intensive one, from the desire to expand and conquer living space - to focusing on his self. Then the second half of life will serve to achieve wisdom, the culmination of creativity, and not neurosis and despair.

Similar views on the essence of the “midlife” crisis were expressed by B. Livehud. He called the age of 30-45 years a kind of point of diverging paths. One of the ways is the gradual mental involution of a person in accordance with his physical involution. The other is the continuation of psychic evolution despite physical involution. Following the first or second path is determined by the degree of development of the spiritual principle in it. Therefore, the result of the crisis should be a person’s appeal to his spiritual development, and then, on the other side of the crisis, he will continue to develop intensively, drawing strength from a spiritual source. Otherwise, he becomes “by the mid-fifties a tragic person, feeling sadness for the good old days, feeling a threat to himself in everything new.”

E. Erikson attached great importance to the midlife crisis. He called the age of 30-40 years the “decade of fatality”, the main problems of which are the decrease in physical strength, vital energy and a decrease in sexual attractiveness. By this age, as a rule, there is an awareness of the discrepancy between dreams, life goals person and his real situation. And if a twenty-year-old person is considered as promising, then forty years is the time for the fulfillment of promises once made. Successful resolution of the crisis, according to Erikson, leads to the formation of a person’s generativity (productivity, restlessness), which includes a person’s desire for growth, concern for the next generation and his own contribution to the development of life on Earth. Otherwise, stagnation is formed, which can be accompanied by a feeling of devastation and regression.

M. Peck pays special attention to the painfulness of the transition from one life stage to another. He sees the reason for this in the difficulty of parting with cherished ideas, habitual methods of work, and angles from which one is accustomed to look at the world. Many people, according to Peck, are unwilling or unable to endure heartache, associated with the process of abandoning what they have outgrown. Therefore, they cling to old patterns of thinking and behavior, refusing to resolve the crisis.

Emotional processes accompanying the midlife crisis. First of all, a crisis is characterized by depressive experiences: a fairly persistent decrease in mood, a negative perception of the current situation. At the same time, a person is not happy even with the objectively good things that actually exist.

The main feeling is tiredness, tiredness from everything - family, work and even children. And most often real life situation does not cause fatigue. Therefore we can say that this is emotional fatigue, although the person himself often considers it physical.

In addition, people feel a decrease in interest or pleasure in all events, apathy. Sometimes a person may feel a systematic lack or decrease in energy, so that he has to force himself to go to work or do household chores. There are often bitter regrets about one's own worthlessness and helplessness.

A special place is occupied by experiences associated with the perception of the past, present and future. A focus on the past appears. Youth seems to be filled with joy and pleasure, unlike the present. Sometimes there is a desire to return to youth, to live life again, without repeating the mistakes made. In some people, you may notice a bias between the perception of the past and the future. They perceive the future as shorter and less fulfilling significant events than the past. A subjective perception of the completeness of life, the proximity of its end, arises.

A special place in depressive experiences is occupied by anxiety about one’s future, which is often masked by anxiety for children. Sometimes anxiety becomes so strong that people completely stop making plans for the future and think only about the present.

Relationships in the family are changing. Increased irritability and conflict. Thinking about one’s own relevance becomes frequent, which can be accompanied by reproaches towards loved ones and causing them to feel guilty. Sometimes there is a fear of your own children growing up, because in connection with this you lose the feeling of your own need.

Around this age, the results of life are calculated and compared with one’s own dreams and plans, on the one hand, and generally accepted stereotypes of achievements, on the other. A woman is in a hurry to give birth to a child, if she has not done so earlier. A man is trying to accomplish what he wants professional growth. Time begins to be felt differently, its pace subjectively accelerates, which is why the fear of not being on time is quite common. The first regrets may appear that you should have built your life completely differently.

Declining physical strength and attractiveness is one of the many problems that a person faces during the midlife crisis and beyond. For those who relied on their physical attributes when they were younger, middle age can be a period of severe depression. But many people find new advantages in knowledge that accumulates life experience; they gain wisdom.

Second main question middle age is sexuality. The average person exhibits some variation in interests, abilities and opportunities, especially as children grow older. Many people are amazed at how big a role sexuality played in their relationships when they were younger. On the other hand, in fiction There are many examples of how a middle-aged man or woman continues to view every person of the opposite sex as a potential sexual partner, interacting with him only in one dimension of “repulsion attraction”, and people of the same sex are considered as “rivals”. In more successful cases of reaching maturity, other people are accepted as individuals, as potential friends. “Socialization” replaces “sexualization” in relationships with people, and these relationships often acquire “that depth of understanding that the previous, more self-centered sexual attitude blocked to a certain extent.”

Consent in midlife requires considerable flexibility. One important view Flexibility includes "the ability to vary emotional investment from person to person, and from activity to activity." Emotional flexibility is necessary, of course, at any age, but in middle age it becomes especially important as parents die and children grow up and leave home. The inability to emotionally respond to new people and new activities leads to the stagnation that Erikson wrote about.

Another type of flexibility that is also necessary for successfully achieving maturity is “spiritual flexibility.” Among people of mature age there is a tendency towards increasing rigidity in all views and actions, towards making their minds closed to new ideas. This mental rigidity must be overcome or it will develop into intolerance or bigotry. In addition, rigid attitudes lead to mistakes and an inability to perceive creative solutions to problems.

Stabilization. Successful resolution of a midlife crisis usually involves a reformulation of goals within the framework of a more realistic and restrained point of view and an awareness of the limited time of every person's life. Spouses, friends and children become increasingly important, and the self is increasingly deprived of its exclusive position. There is an increasing tendency to be content with what there is and to think less about things that will never be achieved. There is a clear tendency to feel one's own situation is quite decent. All these changes mark the next stage of personality development, a period of “new stability.”

For many, the process of renewal that begins when they face their illusions and decline in physical strength eventually leads them to a calmer and even happy life. After 50, health problems become more pressing and there is a growing awareness that “time is running out.” Except for the big ones economic problems and problems associated with disease, we can say that the 50s of a person’s life continue those new forms of stability that were achieved during the previous decade.

Factors making it difficult to resolve the crisis:

projection of a crisis by a person onto his environment, and not onto himself;

fear of change.

Factors contributing to a favorable resolution of the crisis. A factor that facilitates a successful resolution of a crisis is the ability to be happy, i.e. find joy and enjoy the current situation. As a rule, the main sources of happiness are relationships of closeness, as well as the opportunity to create. At the same time, creativity can manifest itself both in the family and in the professional sphere.

An important factor in successfully resolving a crisis is also the ability to maintain a balance between looking to the future and living in the present. This ability is formed in youth when resolving the conflict between the need to think about the future and the desire to enjoy the present. Although, of course, during subsequent life, under the influence of certain circumstances, it can be disrupted or, conversely, formed.

According to D. Levinson, the solution to a crisis usually occurs through the recognition of life’s limitations and needs, both in the professional and family spheres. This usually leads to increased self-discipline, organization, and concentration of efforts around the desired changes. Many are turning to improving their education level. It is now becoming common to receive a second higher education. Thus, developing a professional career remains a major challenge as you enter your 30s. However, there is an opinion that this is typical only for men. Women often switch their interest from achieving professional success to obtaining satisfaction from personal, including intra-family, relationships.

For modern Russia A typical option for avoiding resolving the crisis is turning to religion. Many people turn to religion, realizing not a religious need, but a desire to fill loneliness, receive support, consolation, escape responsibility, or solve some other non-religious problems.

In conclusion of the discussion of the problem of the midlife crisis, it must be emphasized that experiencing it enriches a person and is a necessary stage of development in adulthood.

References

1. Kulagina, I.Yu. Developmental psychology. - M., 2004.

Malkina-Pykh, I.G. Age crises. - M., 2004.

Mukhina, V.S. Developmental psychology. - M.: Academy, 1999.

Psychology of maturity. Tutorial on developmental psychology / edited by D.Ya. Raigorodsky. - Samara: Publishing house BAKHRAKH, 2003. - 768 p.

Human psychology from birth to death / ed. A.A. Reana. - St. Petersburg: Prime-Eurosign, 2006. - 651 p.

A midlife crisis is a fairly long-term emotional state that arose against the background of dissatisfaction and revaluation of life. It most often occurs in men and women between 30 and 50 years of age. The main signs of this condition are worries about lost opportunities and thoughts about impending old age and death.

Doctors associate the appearance of such a depressive state with the accumulation of life experience, new outlooks on life and an understanding of how many opportunities were missed and that youth cannot be returned. Approximately the same emotional state is inherent in adolescents during puberty.

The symptoms of this disorder will be different for both sexes. The duration of this period also varies from person to person; for some it lasts from several months to several years, while for others it can last for decades. It all depends on what place a person occupies in society, whether he has children, what his salary level is, etc. Often, a midlife crisis for women and men is a turning point, since after this a person’s habits and tastes change not only , but also outlook on life. It is for this reason that people often get divorced, change places of work and residence, and begin to become interested in and communicate with people they would never have approached before.

A midlife crisis is an absolutely normal phenomenon for every person, since the goals and plans set in adolescence have been achieved, which means that the time has come to change your life and achieve new goals. The main method of treating a midlife crisis in men and women is to visit a psychologist and follow his recommendations.

Etiology

A midlife crisis overwhelms people over 30 years old - precisely when a person moves to a new stage of life. It is believed that this condition is similar to a crisis in adolescents. The person again tries to prove to the people around him, but first of all to his husband or wife, that he is an individual person who has achieved a lot in the first half of his life. Basically, this state in the life of every adult is determined not only by internal experiences, but also by external ones. Thus, the causes of the midlife crisis are:

• low professionalism, when a person feels that he has achieved practically nothing in his work, while all other colleagues have achieved much more;
• age group. Since this condition is typical for people over 30 years of age, there comes an understanding that over the years a person does not get younger, and the health of a particular individual is not the same as in his youth;
• social factor - society demands responsibility from the actions of a particular person, responsibilities appear to society and one’s own family;
• loss of a close relative or lover. Sometimes a person is unable to cope with such grief, and this leads to the fact that problems at work or from distant childhood emerge, and in total lead to a protracted and manifestation of a midlife crisis;
• concentrations at negative thoughts when old age and death are inevitable;
• external changes are considered the main cause of a midlife crisis in women;
• absence of children - this factor leads to emotional distress not only in women over 30 years old, but also in men. For some, the problem is the predominance of career growth over the appearance of children, while for others, on the contrary, the obsession with having them. There is only one way out - to have a child, then the meaning of life will appear for both women and men;
• self-critical attitude towards oneself;
• lack of confidence in yourself, your knowledge and skills;
• unfulfillment in life. This factor lies in the fact that most female representatives devote themselves to family and children, and then, by the age of forty, they find themselves of no use to anyone. Men are less susceptible to this problem, since they rarely agree to stay at home and raise children;
• hormonal imbalance. Often a crisis occurs when female representatives enter a period (the most characteristic cause expressions of midlife crisis in women).

Additional factors that may contribute to a midlife crisis starting before age 30:

• problematic childhood - the absence of one of the parents or insufficient expression of love on their part;
• various disorders of organs and systems that can worsen and become chronic;
• weak character.

Symptoms

The signs of a male and female crisis are in many ways similar, but still have their own characteristics. Symptoms of a midlife crisis in men over 30:

• a state of constant depression or;
• self-pity;
• addiction to alcohol, or, conversely, giving up all bad habits;
• passive state. It is quite difficult to force a man to do anything - all attempts to stir him up end in scandals;
• constant irritability and dissatisfaction with the other half;
• the appearance of young lovers. And representatives of the stronger sex do not always do this secretly from their spouse;
• conflict situations with parents, relatives or friends;
• nostalgic memories of youth, when your whole life was ahead of you and there was a lot of time left to achieve your goals;
• close attention to your appearance. Often men change their clothing style during such a period;
• lack of sexual attraction to your wife or regular partner.

Characteristic symptoms of a midlife crisis in women:

• self-doubt;
• changing lifestyle, from healthy to harmful, and vice versa;
• lack of plans for future life. Representatives of the fairer sex attribute this to the fact that their appearance changes, bringing them closer to aging;
• dissatisfaction with the years lived, especially in cases where a woman was forced to raise children rather than engage in her own development;
• spending free time doing routine tasks or watching TV;
• overestimation of family relationships with relatives and friends, most often for the worse;
• depressed and depressed state.

Signs that a midlife crisis is beginning are observed much more often in women than in men. Thus, a representative of the weaker sex can be susceptible to this condition from 30 to 50 years, and for the stronger half of humanity - from 35 to 55 years. But the timing of symptoms of a midlife crisis and its duration are individual for each person.

Treatment

Crisis therapy for people over 30 years of age is carried out by family psychologists, because families often collapse against the background of such a state. The number of sessions with a specialist is set individually for each couple, depending on age and the degree of manifestation of signs of emotional disorder. In addition, there are several recommendations for wives and husbands in order to survive the crisis of their spouse with the least losses. Thus, home treatment for a midlife crisis in men, which should be performed by a woman, includes the following activities:

• limitation, and, if possible, complete refusal conflict situations with your spouse, even in those moments when he is wrong. It's best to treat it like to a small child- this will protect the family from betrayal;
• constantly praise and inspire him to do the things he does best;
• constant support for her husband, no matter what absurd ideas he may be interested in;
• reducing words of flattery addressed to the spouse;
• do your best to attract him, and not push him away from sexual relations.

• a husband should always remind his wife that she is the most beautiful woman in the world. Thus, she will learn to love herself and her reflection in the mirror, and will also stop being afraid of age-related problems;
• get closer to your children, try to become a friend to them;
• keep an eye on appearance, you can change your image, then not only will there be an incentive to be in society, but also an opportunity to attract the attention of your spouse;
• find a hobby you like, and it’s best if a new hobby unites both spouses.

In addition, you need to learn to express all your negative and positive thoughts about yourself and loved one. So, a combination of self-treatment and psychotherapy will help save the family and reduce the duration of the midlife crisis.

Is everything in the article correct from a medical point of view?

Answer only if you have proven medical knowledge

First crisis personality experiences transition from adolescence to adulthood (17-22 years old). It is most often caused by two factors. Firstly, a person graduates from a vocational school. He has to look for a job, which in itself is not easy in our time, when employers prefer workers with experience. Having got a job, a person must adapt to working conditions and a new team, learn to apply the acquired theoretical knowledge in practice (it is known that studying at a university is mainly theoretical), while a graduate may hear the phrase “Forget everything you were taught and learn again in practice." Often, real working conditions do not correspond to a person’s ideas and hopes; in this case, the farther his life plans were from reality, the more difficult the crisis will be experienced.

This crisis often also correlates with a crisis in family relationships. After the first years of marriage, many young people’s illusions and romantic mood disappear, dissimilarity of views, conflicting positions and values ​​are revealed, negative emotions are demonstrated more, partners more often resort to speculation on mutual feelings and manipulation of each other (“if you love me, then... ."). The crisis in family relationships may be based on aggression in family relationships, a rigidly structured perception of a partner and a reluctance to take into account many other aspects of his personality (especially those that contradict the prevailing opinion about him). In strong marriages, research shows that husbands dominate. But where their power is too great, the stability of the marriage is disrupted. In strong marriages, compatibility in minor matters is important. , and not according to the basic personal characteristics of the spouses. Marital compatibility increases with age. It is believed that a good difference between spouses is 3 years, and that children born in the first years of marriage strengthen the marital relationship. In addition, studies show that men feel happy in marriages where the spouse is 94% similar in physical and personality characteristics, temperament, etc. on their own mother. For women, these correlations are smaller because female influence in the family is usually stronger than male influence.

Very often at this time there are role-related intrapersonal conflicts: for example, a young father is torn between the role of a father and family man and the role of a professional, specialist making a career, or a young woman must combine the role of a wife, mother and professional. Role conflicts of this type in youth are practically inevitable, since it is impossible for an individual to strictly differentiate in the space and time of his life self-realization in different types of activities and different shapes social activity. Building personal role priorities and hierarchies of values ​​is the way to resolve this crisis, associated with rethinking one’s own “I” (with an attitude from childhood to adult).

Second crisis often called a crisis 30 years old or a regulatory crisis. In cases where objective living conditions do not provide the opportunity to reach the necessary “cultural heights,” often conceptualized as “another (interesting, clean, new) life” (material insecurity, low social and cultural level of parents, everyday drunkenness, family psychopathization and etc.), a young man is looking for any, even brutal, way to break out of the “inorganic” environment, since age itself presupposes knowledge of the availability of a variety of opportunities for life affirmation - “to make life yourself,” according to your own scenario. Often the desire to change, to become different, to acquire a new quality is expressed in a sharp change in lifestyle, moving, changing jobs, etc., usually conceptualized as a crisis of youth.

By the way, in the Middle Ages - the times of apprentices, when craft guilds existed, young people had the opportunity to move from master to master in order to master and learn something new each time in new life circumstances. Modern professional life provides few opportunities for this, so in emergency cases a person is forced to “scratch” everything achieved and “start life from the beginning (from scratch).”

In addition, for many, this crisis coincides with the teenage crisis of their older children, which aggravates the severity of their experience (“I laid down my life for you,” “I sacrificed my youth for you,” “the best years were given to you and the children”).

Because This crisis is associated with a rethinking of values ​​and life priorities; it can be quite difficult for people with a narrow focus on the course of life (for example, a woman, after graduating from an educational institution, plays the role of only a housewife; or, on the contrary, she is absorbed in building a career and realizes the unfulfilled maternal instinct).

Most adults gain 40 years old stability in life and self-confidence. But at the same time, something creeps into this seemingly reliable and planned adult world. third crisis of maturity- doubt associated with the assessment of the life path traveled, with the understanding of stabilization, the “doneness” of life, the experience of the lack of expectations of novelty and freshness, the spontaneity of life and the opportunity to change something in it (so characteristic of childhood and adolescence), the experience of the brevity of life to accomplish everything desired, the need to abandon clearly unattainable goals.

Adulthood, despite its apparent stability, is just as contradictory period, like others. An adult simultaneously experiences both a sense of stability and confusion about whether he has truly understood and realized the true purpose of his life. This contradiction becomes especially acute in the case of negative assessments given by a person of his previous life, and the need to develop a new life strategy. Adulthood gives a person the opportunity (again and again) to “make life” at his own discretion, to turn it in the direction that the person considers appropriate.

At the same time, she overcomes the experience that life has not been realized in everything as it was dreamed of in previous ages, and creates a philosophical attitude and the possibility of tolerance for miscalculations and failures in life, accepting one’s life as it turns out. If youth largely lives by focusing on the future, waiting real life, which will begin as soon as... (children grow up, graduate from college, defend a dissertation, get an apartment, pay off car debts, achieve such and such a position, etc.), then adulthood to a greater extent sets goals, relating specifically to the present time personalities, her self-realization, her bestowal here and now. That is why many, entering mid-adulthood, strive to start life over again, to find new ways and means of self-actualization.

It has been noted that adults, who for some reason do not succeed in their profession or feel inadequate in professional roles, try by all means to avoid productive professional work, but at the same time avoid admitting themselves to be incompetent in it. They exhibit either “sickness” (excessive, unreasonable concern about one's health, usually accompanied by the belief of others that, compared to maintaining health, “nothing else is important”) or the “green grape phenomenon” (announcement that work is is not the most important thing in life, and a person goes into the sphere of non-professional interests - caring for family and children, building a summer house, renovating an apartment, hobbies, etc.), or going into social or political activities (“now is not the time to pore over books.. .”, “now every person as a patriot must...”). People who are fulfilled in their profession are much less interested in such compensatory forms of activity.

If the developmental situation is unfavorable, there is a regression to the obsessive need for pseudo-intimacy: excessive concentration on oneself appears, leading to inertia and stagnation, personal devastation. It would seem that objectively a person is full of strength, occupies a strong social position, has a profession, etc., but personally he does not feel accomplished, needed, and his life is filled with meaning. In this case, as E. Erikson writes, a person views himself as his own and only child (and if there is physical or psychological ill-being, then they contribute to this). If conditions favor such a tendency, then physical and psychological disability of the individual occurs, prepared by all previous stages, if the balance of forces in their course was in favor of an unsuccessful choice. The desire to care for others, creativity, the desire to create (create) things in which part of the unique individuality is embedded, help to overcome the self-absorption and personal impoverishment that has arisen.

It should be noted that the experience of a crisis is influenced by a person’s habit of consciously organizing his life. By the age of 40, a person accumulates signs of aging, and the body’s biological self-regulation deteriorates.

Fourth crisis experienced by a person in connection with retirement ( 55-60 years). There are two types of attitudes towards retirement:

Some people view retirement as liberation from boring unnecessary responsibilities, when they can finally devote time to themselves and their family. In this case, retirement is looked forward to.

Other people experience the “shock of resignation,” accompanied by passivity, distance from others, a feeling of not being needed, and a loss of self-respect. The objective reasons for this attitude are: distance from the reference group, loss of an important social role, deterioration of financial situation, separation of children. Subjective reasons include the unwillingness to rebuild one’s life, the inability to fill time with something other than work, the stereotypical perception of old age as the end of life, the absence of methods for actively overcoming difficulties in the life strategy.

But it should be noted that for both the first and second personality types, retirement means the need to rebuild one’s own life, which creates certain difficulties. In addition, the crisis is aggravated by biological menopause, deteriorating health, and the appearance of age-related somatic changes.

Researchers of this period of life especially note the age of about 56 years, when people on the threshold of aging experience the feeling that they can and should once again overcome a difficult time, try, if necessary, to change something in their own lives. Most aging people experience this crisis as last chance realize in life what they considered the meaning or purpose of their life, although some, starting from this age, begin to simply “serve out” the time of life until death, “wait in the wings,” believing that age does not provide a chance to seriously change something in fate. The choice of one strategy or another depends on personal qualities and the assessments that a person gives to his own life.

Conclusions:

The boundaries of adulthood are considered to be 18-22 (beginning of professional activity) - 55-60 (retirement) years, with its division into periods: early maturity (youth) (18-22 - 30 years), middle maturity (adulthood) (30 - 40 -45 years) and late maturity (adulthood) (40-45 – 55-60 years).

In early adulthood, an individual life style and the desire to organize one’s life are formed, including finding a life partner, purchasing housing, mastering a profession and starting professional life, the desire for recognition in reference groups and for close friendships with other people.

The areas that have the greatest impact on personal development and self-satisfaction in middle adulthood are professional activity and family life.

Late maturity is associated with aging of the body - physiological changes observed at all levels of the body.

In adulthood, a person experiences a number of crises: during the transition to early adulthood (17-22 years), at 30 years old, at 40 years old and upon retirement (55-60 years old).

What kind of crisis is this and does it really exist?

In fact, a good half of human life consists of crises.

A crisis is a state of deep dissatisfaction with one or more areas of life, a feeling of impasse and a lack of understanding of how to get out of this impasse. A crisis is accompanied by a person’s desire to do something to improve his life, but the question: what exactly to do for this remains unanswered for a long time. Long and often painful searches for an answer do not bring positive results. Internally, the state of crisis is experienced painfully, as a state of “everything is bad,” “everything is collapsing,” “what exists is not satisfactory,” and is accompanied by irritability and internal turmoil.

When does a midlife crisis occur in women and what does it consist of?

IN psychological literature you will find a rather vague answer to this question, the essence of which boils down to the fact that after 30 and up to 45 years a woman is going through a midlife crisis.

Other articles on this topic:"Winter of my life or How to survive a midlife crisis"
“Not by the Body Alone” (what happens to a woman’s body during a midlife crisis)

In my experience, there are several patterns and causes of midlife crises in women.

1.
If a woman by 30-35 years her personal life is unsettled, if she has not yet given birth to a child, then the inner voice (and often these are also the voices of relatives and friends) begins to sound the alarm:

You already, but you haven’t yet,
- Then it may be too late,
- So you'll be left alone,
- Everyone has families and children, and why are you worse?
- We need to have time to jump into the last carriage...

Women's "unsettledness", or rather, unfulfillment, as a super-important need, begins to devalue everything that a woman has already achieved. A reassessment of internal values ​​and priorities begins in her life. If in her youth a girl was aimed at business success, then by the age of 30-35 her goal becomes to create a family and have children.
However, such a “transition” is not easy due to the masculine qualities developed by a woman, the lack of ability to adapt to a man and the lack of understanding that the goal required is not so much a “transition” as an internal “revolution.” And who will voluntarily give up the scepter and the orb?
A period of tossing begins: real men have disappeared or have been married for a long time, only weaklings remain, with whom to start a family, with whom to have a child, what to do?..

2.
If a woman devoted herself to her family, if for years her life consisted mainly of household chores, caring for children and, of course, her husband (and it is no coincidence that the husband ended up at the end of this list), then a midlife crisis creeps up on her when the children become independent and "fly" out of the "nest". Alas, the “nest” can be truly empty if the husband “flies out” of it along with the children.

The woman is left alone with herself, and since she is used to devoting herself entirely to family members, she feels useless and empty. The crisis of such a woman is the loss of the meaning of life. But instead of directing her efforts to gain it, she plunges into self-pity, self-blame and depression.

If the husband remains in the same place, then at times it may seem that there is a complete stranger nearby. Topics of family conflicts that were previously hushed up, postponed and not resolved emerge.
If the accumulated problems have to be resolved (this is painful and unpleasant), then unsuccessful “showdowns” can lead to divorce. To avoid dangerous clarifications, a woman (not only a man) can turn her attention to the side, to the other partner. Men more often go to young girls to prolong their youth, women either do the same or choose a wealthier partner in order to feel social stability.

3.
Another model for the emergence of a midlife crisis in women is related to the theme of femininity. Provocateurs of the crisis can be changes in appearance, hormonal changes, “women’s” diseases, the feeling that “something very important has not been revealed.”
The intuitive understanding that the quality of life could be completely different - filled with love, pleasure, tenderness, softness, viscousness - creates the feeling of an unblown flower.
Then the midlife crisis becomes a chance to discover a new femininity in oneself (after all, there was no time to discover it in the daily bustle).

4.
It is generally accepted that for men, a midlife crisis is a crisis of their own worth and lack of goals. U modern woman closer to 40 years old this topic can also cause a midlife crisis.
Dissatisfaction with one's achievements and overestimation of one's capabilities (after all, many of them have already been missed) create a long-term tense emotional state. The situation is further aggravated by the fact that after 45 women are reluctant to hire new job, considering them to be unmotivated employees. Wages at this age it is lower than among young people, despite the difference in intelligence and professional experience.

A midlife crisis can cause a feeling that time is not endless, and then the need to realize is especially acute: “What am I living for? Am I going there? What else do I want to achieve? What should you make the most important thing in your life now? The direction of your future life depends on how you answer these questions. Someone changes their profession, someone gets divorced, someone gets married, someone gives birth to a child, someone takes a lover, someone learns to draw, sculpt, weave with beads, etc.

To be continued.
Also read: “Not by body alone”