Ways to Be Kind
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Any society rests on kind, sympathetic and sweet people, ready to come to the rescue and lend a helping hand to another person. Kindness and mercy help people remain human, no matter how pompous it may sound. With desire and patience, any person can master these worthy qualities. How to do it?
How can you become kinder and more compassionate?
Start small. All people are different. To someone from the very early years inherent kindness, empathy for someone else's misfortune, readiness to provide selfless help, but someone behaves completely differently. A whole host of factors play a big role here, starting with genetic predisposition, ending with the characteristics of upbringing, and the influence of people with whom a person closely communicates. It is impossible to become kind and merciful by order. However, even a callous and indifferent egoist can change in better side and want to do good deeds. The main thing would be desire.
During the Soviet era, the slogan “There is always a place for heroism in life” was very popular. To paraphrase it a little, we can safely say: “There is always a place for kindness in life.” Take a look around. You will certainly find people who need your best help. This could be anyone, for example, an elderly retired couple living next door, a single mother raising a small child, an acquaintance who finds himself in a difficult life situation. Give them a little time and attention, find out if they need help with anything. For example, you can at least sometimes bring food and medicine to elderly neighbors if it is difficult for them to leave the house. Even if this help is very modest, the main thing is that it is offered and provided sincerely, from a pure heart. You yourself will be pleased to know that you did a good deed and helped other people. And, most likely, you will behave in the same way in the future.
It is not so important in what form your participation is expressed. This could be: - feasible financial assistance; - physical assistance (cleaning the house, delivering groceries, medicines, looking after a small child, etc.); - good advice; - moral support; - free legal consultation, etc.
In any case, you will not only help another person, but you yourself will become better and kinder.
You can get information about people in need of help by contacting a charity. They will probably give you all the necessary contacts and tell you what kind of help will be most useful.
You can also help children from orphanage, for example, by giving gifts or buying necessary things
If you are a believer and follow religious canons, remember that all major world religions require treating other people with kindness, love and justice. For example, the Christian commandments directly state: “Love your neighbor as yourself!” and “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Why you need to be kind and merciful
Kindness and mercy benefit a person. Imagine a society consisting entirely of callous, indifferent self-lovers. Where you not only don’t have to count on anyone’s help or support, but you also have to constantly be wary of intrigues and unfriendly tricks. Would you want to live among such people? Very doubtful.
The law of “survival of the fittest” rules in nature. There (except for certain, extremely rare exceptions) there is no place for mercy. But a person is called rational because he lives not only by instincts. It is not for nothing that one wise man said that the civilization of a society can be judged by its attitude towards children and the elderly, that is, towards the weakest and most defenseless people.
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Helping those who are weaker, who find themselves in difficult life situation, people thereby demonstrate their best moral qualities. And when faced with someone else’s misfortune, they often begin to evaluate their own life and value system differently. Those troubles and problems that previously seemed significant and caused severe moral discomfort, against the backdrop of someone else’s grief, may seem completely insignificant.
What is mercy? How to be merciful? In this material you will find a list of articles that reveal the meaning of this phenomenon, and also read quotes about it.
Mercy: selected articles
How to understand mercy?
Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful (Luke 6:36), the Gospel commands us. These words make you think. After all, the Lord did not tell us, for example: “Be strong, just as your Father is strong and mighty.” It is even more impossible to imagine that Christ would say something like “be fasters, like your Heavenly Father.” This means that mercy is what most likens us to God, and, on the other hand, what is in our power.
Chulpan Khamatova: If you wait for gratitude, you will immediately break down
To what extent has division in society affected philanthropy? Why does the word “charity” remain unfamiliar to us? Is it scary to raise children today? Are there any differences between people living in the capital and the provinces? The People's Artist of Russia, co-founder of the “Give Life!” Foundation talks about this and much more. Chulpan Khamatova told Pravmir.
Blitz survey: What should everyday charity be like?
What is everyday charity? The first association with the word “mercy” is help in an orphanage, boarding school, hospital. But not everyone can do this - how to do charity for family people who have work, children and a constant lack of time? But it also happens that a person is ready to help in hospitals and hospices, but the result of such mercy is only vanity in the soul. Is such help pleasing to God?
Quotes about mercy
The one who covers up the offense seeks love; and whoever reminds him again removes his friend.
He who despises his neighbor sins; and he who is merciful to the poor is blessed.
Old Testament. Proverbs of Solomon
The coldness of mercy is the silence of the heart; the flame of mercy is the murmur of the heart.
Aurelius Augustine
Let's help those poor people who beg us for it, and even if they deceive us, we shouldn't attach too much importance to it. of great importance. For each of us deserves such mercy, forgiveness and kindness.
John Chrysostom
When you feed the poor, consider that you have fed yourself. This is the nature of this thing: what we give will return to us.
John Chrysostom
Do you want to be shown mercy? Show mercy to your neighbor.
John Chrysostom
There is no such thing as too much mercy
Francis Bacon
Misguided charity is not only weak, but borders on injustice and is very harmful to society, because it encourages vice.
Henry Fielding
We too often turn people over to the mercy of God and too rarely show mercy ourselves.
George Eliot
Alms corrupt both the giver and the taker, and moreover, it does not achieve its goal, because it only increases beggary.
Fedor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky
Be merciful to the unfortunate, be lenient to the happy.
Victor Marie Hugo
Shouldn't mercy be shown with special force precisely where the fall is especially deep?
Victor Marie Hugo
...The source of evil is vanity, and the source of good is mercy.
Francois René de Chateaubriand
Charity begins at home. If you have to go somewhere to show mercy, then this is hardly mercy.
Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy
Charity consists not so much in material help, but in spiritual support of one's neighbor. Spiritual support, first of all, lies in non-judgment of one’s neighbor and respect for his human dignity.
Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy
Almost no person thinks about death until it comes close to him. The tragedy and at the same time the irony lie in the fact that all people on earth, from the dictator to the last beggar, behave as if they will live forever. If we constantly lived with the awareness of the inevitability of death, we would be more humane and merciful.
Erich Maria Remarque, "Life on Borrow"
Reading time: 3 min
Mercy is a personality trait that manifests itself in an internal readiness to help, forgive, sympathize, without pursuing one’s own interests, but guided exclusively by selfless motives. The manifestation of mercy is present both in material charity and in spiritual gifts, such as support or understanding of a person’s previously condemned actions.
This trait is not available to everyone in its effective manifestations, especially with the development of the technological part of the world, when you are always in virtual space and you cannot feel the misfortune of another from your own experience. She always requires you to push aside not only your own problems and experiences, but also to set aside time to give it to another. The concept of mercy necessarily includes the effective manifestation of expressed experiences; it can also be expressed only in actions, but is rarely expressed only in verbal form.
What it is
When understanding what mercy is and how to distinguish it from other spiritually approved qualities, it is important to note not only a person’s desire to help or sympathize empathetically, but also the absence of internal criticism towards the one who is being helped. Those. one who acts from these motives will not at the same time teach or criticize another, point out his mistakes or show the right path. Here, rather, there is a feeling in advance that the person in need is innocent, has repented, or did something not out of malice, and in general there is no assessment as such.
In mercy there is always a sacrifice, i.e. when a person gives a little money to a beggar, while having millions, then this is not mercy, but the same act from someone who counts pennies in order to survive can be considered merciful. Where there is a lot of free time and nowhere to spend it, and this person chooses to participate in charity events, there is only a desire to entertain himself, certainly aimed at a good cause. The situation is completely different where a person goes to help at a shelter after twelve hours of his own work, sacrificing normal sleep, lunch and rest. A desire to help that goes beyond one’s own is needed, the fortitude to understand that although you yourself are in need, you can help others from this state - this is a true manifestation of mercy.
But mercy is never next to stupidity, when such a person will be pushed around - it is the ability to provide an opportunity and stand next to someone who has difficulties in solving them, it is an attempt to show other ways and teach if asked for it. When the other only uses help, and everyone continues to provide it, then we can rather talk about codependent relationships, where one serves as a moral or material “donor”, but in reality there is no help, since no one needs it, but only constant infusion of energy.
When showing mercy, there is not only a material benefit, but primarily a moral one, manifested in the desire to receive gratitude or praise from others. There is no selfishness in him, which can manifest itself in doing good deeds for the sake of one’s own reputation, feeding the ego or inflating personal importance. But it always brings peace and goodness to the own soul of the one who acts mercifully, because... he simply has no moral opportunity to do otherwise. Also, the one who is merciful gets a unique opportunity to be less angry, because there is no judgment of the other and no idea how he should behave. This is accepting the world as it is, with negative aspects and the personal opportunity to correct them. The more such manifestations, the easier communication becomes at any level, the easier relationships develop, and as a result, a person receives help without expecting it. This is a very important point that he will still receive precisely because he helps others not for his own benefit. And the one who does good, hoping that in any situation everyone will rush to his rescue, is most often left alone, because at the very beginning the motivation was self-interest.
Mercy is not an innate trait and is acquired only in society, and of a certain direction, where early age a person is instilled with benevolence, condescension, selflessness and the desire to help his neighbor. In any group there is a desire for mutual assistance, even among animals, but there it is dictated by the biological need to stick together, which helps the pack survive. In such variants, if an individual commits a crime, it can be punished or expelled, while mercy can act to the detriment of others, against, but for the benefit of another.
In general, this trait is considered positive and spiritual, but can be condemned by other members of society in situations where, in their opinion, the person who has stumbled does not deserve help or support. It can be explained by stupidity or naivety, undeserved respect or short-sightedness, but in any of these options there is no humane attitude towards others, but only fear and the pursuit of one’s own safety or benefit.
In religious denominations of various levels, showing mercy is considered one of the spiritual practices that shows not only love for a specific person, but for a deity through caring for his creation. That is why, among believers, such acts of self-denial are always perceived favorably, and in the most striking cases they are even canonized.
The Problem of Mercy
Mercy is increasingly controversial when it comes to its impact on global development society. Those who adhere to a spiritual orientation, regardless of faith or lack thereof, say that it is such traits that preserve something human and give all people a chance. This is a kind of marker of how we all differ from animals, and the more mercy a person has, the closer he is to spiritual world where transformations are possible.
But there are also a number of features, for example, the problem of mercy towards criminals, when the human soul splits in two in its impulses. Punishing is merciless, such a prerogative is given only to the higher mind and a person’s own conscience, but, unfortunately, any system (and society is precisely a system) requires strict adherence to the rules for its general existence. One of the ways to force compliance with such rules is precisely punishment, which is most clearly manifested in the system of judicial legislation.
This and other issues can be solved not only by clearly establishing rules and blindly observing them, but by being guided by the principle of treating others from the position of how you would like to be treated with the person himself. This is applied in the active world, when observing repentance or that a person is improving, he is given amnesty. This is also present when parents punish a child, but not to show cruelty, but with care for him and feel in time when it is necessary to stop, before such care causes serious trauma to the mental sphere of the individual.
It is not possible to exclude mercy for the sake of justice, since it is precisely this that makes it possible to build a humane world and harmonious relationships at the individual level. This is a trait that will help a person himself in difficult times, because everyone stumbles or commits unpleasant acts out of ignorance or intentionally, then repenting.
Exceptional justice without the participation of the heart, love, and condescension is always equated to cruelty, because... what is explainable by logic is not always so from the position of feeling. In addition to the fact that the person in need receives help and the opportunity to develop, he is also given the opportunity to treat others mercifully, feeling from his own experience how important this is. Thus, a humane strategy of behavior can spread among people, minimizing the use of force, anger, wars and other negative and debilitating manifestations for the psyche. The principle of personal gain turns out to work only at first, until long-term consequences occur, when people move away, trust disappears and justice returns, devoid of empathy.
Understanding the need for such actions, many try to express false mercy, providing assistance more like a payoff. When it is easier to send money than to come to a person who needs not so much treatment as communication, or when they feed hungry animals with a surplus of their own food, and not in a situation of their own shortage. Mercy should not be manifested precisely through one’s own suffering, but the problem of modernity is the pursuit of spirituality and its imaginary presence - everyone strives to demonstrate it for the sake of encouragement or acceptance in circles, some are flattered by it, while others do it out of a sense of duty. This is also not a problem of mercy, not as a category, but as a way of its manifestation, the possibility of sincerity and real participation of the soul.
Examples of mercy
An abstract description of the quality of a human personality is not always understandable without the given life examples. Examples from the side of faith can be cases of guidance on the true path, not only in the context of observing prescriptions or honoring the gods, but eliminating ignorance and delusions. Sometimes a simple conversation explaining how things happen in this world helped people much more than punishments and standard calls to believe in a higher power. The priests who allowed themselves to be angry, but with good intentions and communicated with sinners out of sympathy and mercy, as with foolish children, continuing to help and instruct them despite mistakes, are an example of selfless care.
Similar things happen outside of confessions, when some human misunderstanding was eliminated by a good lesson, by example or enlightenment. This is how parents teach children, ordinary passers-by, by providing a service, show that there is kindness, and teachers, by presenting new knowledge, eliminate the possibility of making mistakes out of ignorance.
Much of the charity of teaching and instruction is aimed not at helping when the situation already requires salvation, but when it can still be prevented Hard times.
Mercy manifests itself in words of consolation to those who are in despair or who are hurt by the events that have occurred - this is an opportunity to find Right words, helping a person find the strength to regain faith. This is faith in own strength fallen, in his ability to get up from his knees and continue on his way without unnecessary help and crutches. This way they do not disable the injured, and they begin to fight for the development of their capabilities, this way they give hope to those who have lost loved ones and they begin to act for the sake of the main ideas.
Inner work is mercy. When someone is sincerely forgiven for an offense, sometimes silently, without even saying it to their face, or when they pray for a person who has committed evil or is in a difficult situation. These are those moments when no one except the most merciful person knows what is happening inside him, but this changes further interaction. But mercy is not only the right words or inner work, it is also actions or not doing certain things. Non-action includes the ability not to respond with evil to evil, but rather to see the reason for such behavior (often people are aggressive because of their own pain, they offend because they themselves are offended). The less there is a rude response to rudeness, the less of this there will be on earth.
Compassionate action includes providing practical assistance where needed. You can feed the hungry instead of donating money to him (perhaps they ask for it for alcohol) or giving water to the thirsty. Simple things that support vital functions are fundamental. When a person remembers the homeless and gives them his clothes, rather than throwing them away, or when he gives away what he would still wear himself, but the understanding that he has two pairs of shirts forces him to give one to someone in need.
Giving shelter to a traveler, or giving a lift to a voter on the highway, visiting a sick person, a prisoner, or someone with limited mobility—this is all more important than donating thousands of dollars to charitable foundations, since they relate to the immediate situation and specific people.
Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"
Answered by a policeman, a medical student from Malaysia, “Vladimir Lenin”, a schoolgirl, a writer, an officer, a retired Israeli engineer, a historian of philosophy, and the head of the legal department from Chelyabinsk. A survey on the streets of Moscow showed that everyone lacks mercy, but people understand this word differently.
Pavel, 24 years old, policeman
-What is mercy to you?
- This is kindness.
– Is it necessary to modern world mercy?
- Of course, it is necessary, because the world has become cruel. People have become more selfish, this is manifested in the greed of each individual. Because every person wants to survive in a given environment and does not want to help another. And everyone needs help.
– Even for those who themselves are to blame for their misfortune, for example, alcoholics?
– If a person is incurable, this does not mean that he cannot be helped.
– Have you ever encountered mercy in your life?
– I am an orphan, and my relatives took me into the family and helped me quite a lot in terms of upbringing, developing ideas, thoughts and dreams for the future. It meant a lot to me. If you lose both parents, then there is no particular desire to strive for anything.
– Is there a place for mercy in your work?
- We caught some criminal who robbed a man. How many people were affected? Perhaps he took the last thing from someone? His capture is a mercy towards those who could become the next victim.
– Tell us a specific incident from your life.
- There was a fight at the station. I was not dressed in uniform and was walking through the station, I saw people I didn’t know fighting, and I separated them.
-How did you manage to do this? It’s not that easy?
- Well, the turnip is not small.
Igor, 30 years old, head of the legal department of a company producing pumping equipment
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– This is compassion not only for loved ones, but in general, for everyone around. Sympathy, expressed in a certain way of helping people in difficult moments.
- Necessarily. Without mercy there is nowhere. If we don’t have mercy in our hearts, then we have no right to consider ourselves human. Without mercy, indifference to common problems appears, a person begins to isolate himself, to his own benefits, and becomes indifferent. I think this shouldn’t happen in our society.
– I personally and our company help an orphanage and a nursing home in Chelyabinsk region. We organize children's parties, recently built playgrounds, and collect necessary things for a nursing home. There is a group of people who show concern. This is not only personal faith, but also education.
Aravinden, medical student from Malaysia
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– What does mercy mean to you?
– Mercy is when one person helps another, this should happen everywhere. Charity is needed to take a weight off some people's shoulders.
– Have you encountered mercy in your life?
– Last week I was on the subway, and one lady was traveling with a large bag and could not get down. She asked me for help, and I helped her, and then moved on. And then there was another staircase, and I decided to wait for the woman and help her again, and she said “thank you very much.”
– Is there more mercy in your country?
- Yes, sure. I have been living in Russia for three years. The lives of people here and in Malaysia are very different. I don't see people here who help others. Meanwhile, this is a common thing in my country, I have seen it many times. Wherever you are, if something happens on the street, they come up to you and ask “how they can help you.” But here people just pass by and don’t pay attention, they don’t care.
"Vladimir Ilyich Lenin"
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– What does mercy mean to you?
– If you feel sorry for a person who harms himself, who drives himself into a coffin, for example, drunkards, then this is not mercy. Probably, they should not be pitied, because they chose their own path. But if a person gets sick or otherwise gets into trouble for reasons beyond his control, then mercy can naturally be shown.
– Have you encountered mercy in your life?
– In my life, I try to rely more on my own strengths and help myself more than they help me. There were several times when they helped me, but mostly they hindered me. Here, for example, our valiant authorities have made criminals, dragging them and dragging them into their department.
I gave my nephew an apartment. I left another apartment for my daughter. And when I leave, I’ll immediately make you happy a large number of relatives, because in 20 years Lenina has earned enough money for four apartments and I’m collecting money for the fifth.
When I started, I hoped that I would have my own plane - it all started so quickly. But suddenly all this was gone, so I settled on apartments.
They started copying my image, but other “Lenins” were somehow unlucky. I thought someone would surpass me, a normal, worthy Lenin would appear. When they came, it was up to me whether to leave them here or not - I had influence on the police. Out of my kindness, I decided okay, let them work. Moreover, he gave them things from his own shoulder, either a jacket or a cap. But instead of going up, they all started to go down and became alcoholics. The money is easy, at hand, they earn it and drink it right away. It turned out that instead of good, I caused them evil.
Evgeniya, 16 years old, schoolgirl
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– What does mercy mean to you?
-Now there is so little mercy both here and everywhere. People help only if, for example, a child is sick and needs to be cured, but even then it is very little. People become evil, there is less good, the world degrades.
- Why do you think so?
– Because of people, their actions. People both known to me and strangers on the Internet laugh at the sick and the infirm. This is bad, and this is what I consider evil. Or they say one thing in person, but behind their back they can say something completely different, and in fact they turn out to be completely different, hiding their emotions and their character.
– Have you encountered mercy in your life?
– I help sick children or I can give some money to passers-by on the street or put it in a collection box for some operation. I can help my family, including mentally. For example, if they have a problem, then you can suggest a solution, and if a person is not feeling well, then help him with a kind word and support him in some way. Maybe this is mercy?
Sergey Pavlovich, writer, former power engineer
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– What does mercy mean to you?
– Mercy is a complex concept. For some people, charity is, you know, fun. And real mercy is when you give your last and really want to help someone.
– Have you encountered mercy in your life?
– I am a writer and have also worked on this topic. In my entire life, and I had a lot of it, there was no such thing as truly mercy. There was kindness and care, but there was no mercy. Mercy is something higher.
In my time, people somehow treated each other better. This is how they are brought up today - you must win on your own, be selfish and achieve everything in this life. The basis of today's life is competition.
I read that Schwarzenegger killed 549 people in his films over the years of his acting career. Although he did not kill very much, but rather showed off. These films are a little violent. Especially in children's games, they constantly kill and kill. For many now, killing a person is already so, nothing special.
I lived in Cuba for four years, where it can be difficult to show mercy because everyone has the same level of income, but the people there were kinder.
N., 39 years old, historian of philosophy and religion
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– What does mercy mean to you?
– I never thought about it. The Russian language is so rich. The compound word is merciful heart.
– Have you encountered mercy in your life?
- In relation to me - yes. On my part - much less often. For example, my mother became very seriously ill; she was diagnosed with cancer, and I was actually left alone with this misfortune. I graduated from college, entered graduate school, and I had no money at all, but I had to pay for everything.
I immediately prepared myself for the fact that I would get into a terrible scrape, almost before the apartment was sold. All the people I met, perhaps seeing my age, did not take a penny from me, all the doctors helped as best they could. And when we had to pay a lot of money for chemotherapy, they made it so that we could get it for free.
I cured my mother. I was not required to sell the apartment, although I would have done so. For me it was a colossal act of mercy, absolutely not trivial. Moreover, no one made a fuss - the man had a job, and he did it. Very specific, very calm, they literally led me by the hand through the stages of treatment. And I came to my senses a little. As a result, doctors saved not one, but two lives.
- What, you didn’t help anyone at all?
- Why no one? Am I a complete freak or what? I give money, just purposefully - not to beggars, but to specific people I know. Old people, neighbors, loved ones. I don't do anything. It’s very simple to do some feasible specific things, without committing an “act of mercy.” For example, I buy quite expensive medications for a lonely person who cannot buy them.
Or my mother was lying in a room in which there were nine people. There are no nurses, no one. Come, help, clean up, right? Everything is covered in dust, if you remove this dust, people will breathe easier. That is, some basic things. I don't think this is mercy. On the other hand, people felt better; they heard a kind word from me. Maybe the pain has decreased somewhat.
Konstantin, 41 years old, officer
– What does mercy mean to you?
– As a citizen of Russia, I believe that mercy is selfless help.
– Is mercy necessary and why?
– It is absolutely necessary, because it is one of the foundations of society. If there is no mercy in a society, then it will destroy itself. Soldiers going to war must be confident that if they die, their families will be supported. And soldiers returning from war must be sure that their state will also support them. So are social cataclysms, which cost many sections of society dearly.
– Have you encountered mercy in your life?
- Certainly. I served in Asia for a long time, I had to save people who found themselves in difficult situations. We served there, the places are deserted, the villages are 150-200 kilometers away, and frosts in winter are 30-40 degrees.
There were different situations: equipment broke down, the local population, hunters, sometimes got stuck in the wilderness, we saved them. Slavs, including Russians, still work at the camps as sakman workers without documents. They escape from slavery, they are caught, it’s no secret to anyone. We also saved fugitives.
Eitan Deghani, Israeli pensioner, former engineer
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– What does mercy mean to you?
– This is the ability of one person to act lovingly towards another person or many people, or towards animals. This is the ability to give to others. Personally, for me, mercy is acting with personal feeling towards others. I'm not sure if mercy equals compassion. Compassion is seeing another with highest point vision, understand what he wants, and help him with it.
– Is mercy necessary in the modern world?
“I don’t know if anyone understands the world unless they look at it from a religious point of view.” The religious point of view gives the big picture with God and so on. The world needs mercy. How more peace tends to look at everything from an economic point of view, the less he notices people. He only thinks about development, how to make more money, and he doesn't care about people.
The same can be said about politicians and oligarchs. Have you heard about the 99%, that the elite make up less than 1% of the population and they own all the wealth? This is an injustice to other people. There are uprisings and unrest all over the world right now. In Spain, Russia, in the USA on Wall Street. Of course, governments act without compassion. They operate in terms of how to manage people. And I wish politicians would look at people with more compassion, and not from this selfish “how to save the government” point of view. And some religions need more compassion.
– Have you encountered mercy in your life?
- Yes, yesterday we stopped a taxi... I hope this doesn’t go to the KGB? No? Fine. We saw a woman with a sign and asked the taxi driver to stop. She looked poor and the sign said she had two children. All three of us in the taxi gave her some money. It just happened automatically.
The Gospel description of the Last Judgment (see: Matt. 25: 31–46) contains a very important truth: justification or condemnation is carried out according to the principle of our attitude towards people, namely: whether we were merciful to others. By showing participation or, on the contrary, indifference to a suffering person - and every suffering person carries within himself the image of God - we thereby build our inner attitude towards God: “just as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me” (Matt. .25:40).
The Gospel, therefore, clearly testifies: whoever sees those in need and does not do everything in his power to provide help, deprives himself of hope for grace-filled communion with Christ. “Whoever misses the opportunity to do good,” explains St. Nicodemus the Holy Mountain, “not only loses the fruit of goodness, but also offends God. God sends someone in need to him, and he says: “Come later.” Although he speaks to man, it is the same as to God who sent him. God will find another kind person, and the one who refused will answer for himself.”
– this is the simplest way in which we can become like God. “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful” (Luke 6:36). Not everyone is able to acquire prolonged, attentive prayer, withstand fasts fully in accordance with the Rule, gain the deepest humility or meekness, have a prudent attitude towards life, or even more so, ascend to the heights of life. O marriage. And mercy towards others is available to everyone.
At the same time, when we talk about mercy, it is important to remember that the word “mercy” means not just an act, but a special spiritual disposition. Grace is empathy and compassion, a heartfelt desire to help someone in need. For the merciful, every sufferer is family and friends. Moreover, with true mercy, a person gives what is his to another and rejoices.
The Prologue relates how in one monastery the following pious custom was observed from ancient times. Every year on Maundy Thursday, the poor, widows, and orphans came to the monastery from all the surrounding places and took from the common property of the monks an established amount of wheat, a small amount of wine and honey, and five copper coins. So they spent the bright Resurrection of Christ without need and in joy.
One day there was a crop failure, and the price of bread rose enormously. Although the brethren had plenty of food supplies, they thought that the donors’ alms would stop during the crop failure, and suggested that the abbot this year break the pious custom and not give wheat to the needy. For a long time the virtuous abbot did not agree to the request of the brethren. “It is a sin to violate the statutes given to us by the holy founder of the monastery,” he said, “it is a sin not to hope that the Lord will nourish us.” But since the brethren resolutely declared that they did not want to feed others at the expense of themselves, he answered with spiritual sorrow: “Do as you wish.” And the poor, who came to the monastery with hope, returned from there with despair.
But on Holy Saturday the monastery cleric went to the granary to give out clean flour for the bread. As soon as he opened the doors, he noticed a bad smell: all the wheat had rotted so much that all that remained was to throw it into the river. The brothers were surprised, regretted their action and did not know what to do; and the pious abbot, calmly looking at the spoiled bread, said: “Whoever breaks the commandment of the holy father, the founder of the monastery, does not trust in God’s Providence and does not have mercy on the poor, must certainly be punished for disobedience. You have spared five hundred measures and destroyed five thousand... From now on, know whether you should trust in God or in your barns.”
It is vain to think that you can be happy without helping others. There will never be joy in your heart if you turn away from your neighbors, refuse to help them and think only of yourself. Our soul thirsts for goodness and love not only from someone, it has a need to open up to people, to bring them light and warmth. Therefore, when you do good, you yourself become happy. A person who does not love his neighbors, who does not wish the best for other people, is a flawed person. And one more thing: this is a deeply unhappy person.
But even if we help the suffering person only because we see him as a pitiful creature, then our mercy is pagan. We throw a piece of bread to the animal when we see that it is hungry. But the holy righteous John of Kronstadt says: “Know that yours is always insignificant in comparison with man, this child of God.” Christian charity sees the image of God in the needy, even if trampled upon by earthly vicissitudes. This means that we have no right not to help.
Here it is important to understand that everyone who suffers grief is God’s chosen one, who is given the opportunity to bear his own cross in life, which perhaps we are not capable of. By helping such a person, we share his grief with him, but in the end we also become accomplices of God’s choice given to him.
Unfortunately, in life we constantly have to observe the opposite situation. We don't want to be kinder and more merciful to each other. They are always dissatisfied, irritated, and in relation to their neighbors they are precise in formalities: it’s impossible, it’s not allowed, it’s not allowed. Moreover, when we show hard-heartedness towards others, we often want and seek to be treated condescendingly and kindly. We are reluctant to meet our neighbors halfway even in small ways, and in our personal lives we strive to occupy a position in which others would be obliged to help us.
An acquaintance, the vice-rector of a theological seminary, told how, having assumed an administrative position, he was faced with the need to lead others. Actually, administrative work involves constant control, demands, and organizing others to work. The entire life of an administrative person turns into constant instructions to others what and how to do, into penalties: why didn’t you do it or did it wrong? This leaves an imprint on the personality. But one day, when he was filing an insurance claim in connection with damage to a car, he was informed by mobile phone that the student had agreed to sign the document with the rector, and in three hours he would board the train with the documents, and the rector unexpectedly left the seminary. The only one who can still sign is the vice-rector. But he sits in the insurance claims department and thinks about how to properly document the damage, which for some reason the police did not all record in the report. The distance between them is such that the student will still be late if he goes to him first. The right decision did not come immediately. Although it was evening and the vice-rector had a child with him who still had to prepare his homework, he decided to go to the station to meet the student at the train.
The seminarian was clearly late, and, standing on the platform, my friend began earnestly asking the Lord to help. There were only a few minutes left before departure. He bought a fountain pen, which, as always at such moments, was not in his briefcase, so he could immediately sign the document. A miracle did not happen - the train left. The student came running only three minutes later, but during this time the vice-rector managed to think through what to do so that the student would not be shocked. He immediately took him to hand over his ticket. I immediately found out that in two hours there was another train in the same direction. Surprisingly, only one seat was free. I had to add money to buy a ticket. But in the end everything was resolved successfully. This means that the Lord helps us in everyday situations, but especially helps us when we ourselves strive to participate in the lives of our neighbors.
The author of these lines knows many priests who help others free of charge. And these priests always experience joy, as if they were not giving, but acquiring themselves. Mercy always brings with it breadth and spaciousness to the soul; the merciful person leaves the narrow framework of internal self-isolation, finds freedom and joy of the heart in the good done for others, while selfishness always impoverishes life.
An egoist, like a thief, hides from others in order to snatch only for himself - he is unhappy and pathetic in his self-interest and, like a mole, digs holes in earthly things, away from the light, as if trying in advance to equip his own grave with accumulations.
But man is a creature with such deep spiritual needs that cannot be satisfied by self-interest. The possession of earthly treasures will never give happiness to anyone if they are not shared with their neighbors. This truth is expressed by St. Maximus the Confessor: “What is mine is what I give to others.” Because the heart rejoices only by opening up to others, and not by closing in on itself. Our famous fabulist Ivan Andreevich Krylov presented this figuratively in the fable “The Hind and the Dervish,” concluding:
Yes, true goodness
He does good without any reward:
He who is good finds excess a burden,
As long as he doesn’t share them with his neighbor.
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There are people who, according to the word of Scripture, “will not sleep unless they do evil” (Proverbs 4:16). But there are also people who cannot sleep if they have not done good to someone. Among the saints who became famous for their special concern for the poor, the Patriarch of Alexandria John, nicknamed the Merciful, enjoys the greatest veneration. He spent all his money on helping the unfortunate, remaining himself in extreme poverty. Once, a noble resident of Alexandria gave him an expensive blanket, asking him to make use of this gift. Indeed, Saint John covered himself with a blanket at night, but the thought that it would be possible to help the unfortunate with expensive things did not give him peace. In the morning, John sent the blanket to be sold and distributed the proceeds to the poor. The donor saw his blanket in the market, bought it and brought it back to St. John. But the saint of God did the same before evening, in order to fall asleep peacefully. When the donor brought the blanket for the third time, Saint John said: “I will always sell this thing that is unnecessary to me; We’ll see who will be the first of us to stop doing his own thing.”
Anton Pavlovich Chekhov once rightly said: “It is necessary that behind the door of every satisfied person, happy person someone would stand with a hammer and constantly remind him by knocking that there are unfortunate people, that, no matter how happy he is, life will sooner or later show its claws to him, trouble will strike him - poverty, losses, and no one will see or hear him how now he does not see or hear others.”
Who will remind every person behind the door of the soul with his knock of the need to do mercy? This should be, first of all, our conscience. The very essence of a person is determined by what he is like alone with his conscience.
But here is how the righteous saint warns us: “Be attentive to yourself when a poor person in need of help asks you for it: the enemy will try at this time to fill your heart with coldness, indifference and even disdain for the person in need; overcome these non-Christian and non-human dispositions in yourself, arouse in your heart compassionate love for a person similar to you in everything, and whatever the needy person asks you to do, fulfill his request to the best of your ability.”
Already in school years I couldn’t pass by a beggar without giving him some. If there was nothing to give, he always said: “Sorry.” Once Gogol even remained in debt to a beggar woman. To her words: “Give for Christ’s sake,” he replied: “Count for me.” And the next time, when she turned to him with the same request, he gave her double, explaining: “This is my duty.”
IN Holy Scripture refusal of alms is clearly considered a sin (see: Deut. 15: 7–9). And about alms itself it is said this way: when giving it, “your heart should not grieve” (Deut. 15: 10). “Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you” (Matthew 5:42). And although there are those who ask who have turned poverty into a craft, it is not our business every time to figure out where and why our alms will go. “Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy” (Matthew 5:7), says the Savior, without discussing any conventions.
In order to learn Christian charity, several rules can be proposed:
1. Serve, although a little, but with. You don't have to give everything you have. Give at least a little, pinch yourself in small ways, but only without irritation towards the person: not brushing off the poor person like an annoying fly, but wishing him well.
2. Be sure to help those people whose poverty of life you know for sure - relatives, employees, acquaintances.
3. Do not judge beggars who beg for food, but, as it seems to you, would be able to work themselves or will allegedly use your alms for bad reasons. Everyone will answer for themselves.
4. Finally, do not give alms out of a desire for praise, for the sake of apparent prestige, ranking, or even just a report. Such people “already receive their reward” on earth, remaining without the reward of the Heavenly Father (see: Matt. 6: 1-2).
According to St. John Chrysostom, mercy has various images. There are works of physical mercy: feeding the hungry, giving drink to the thirsty, clothing the naked or lacking necessary clothing, visiting the sick, welcoming a stranger into a home, etc. And there are spiritual works of mercy, which are as much higher as the soul is higher than the body. The works of spiritual mercy, for example, are as follows: to convert a sinner from error, to teach an unbeliever truth and goodness, to give good advice to a neighbor in difficulty or a danger he does not notice, to comfort the sad, not to repay evil with evil, to forgive offenses from the heart.
You can also help with a warm prayer for him. We don’t always have money with us, but prayer, as the holy fathers say, is always with us. Moreover, it is in vain to think that by providing only material assistance to another, you have fulfilled your Christian duty, as if you have bought yourself off from the demands of the Gospel. The Savior calls us to raise everyone to unity with God: “That they all may be one, just as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You, that they also may be one in Us” (John 17:21). Prayer paves the way to this.
Prayer unites, graciously binds together everyone for whom we say our prayers before the Lord. Therefore, prayer is an opportunity to do good to people always and everywhere.
In prayer there is no division into distant and close, into enemies and friends, because in the prayer requests of a Christian everyone is placed before the All-Seeing God, everyone is called to His eternal Kingdom.
But prayer is prayer only when it finds a response in the heart of the one praying, when the soul is flaming with the desire to give others eternity, to ask the Lord for this priceless gift for others, and therefore prayer from the heart is always a triumph of love and goodness, it is the beginning of victory over hostile feelings, anger and hatred.
Prayer is asking for mercy from the Lord. To pray from the heart for someone means to feel someone else’s pain and reach out to the person in need, as if to take his burden, so that he himself can feel better.
So, many means to mercy are offered to us, and although the specific choice remains ours, one thing is certain: every step towards another, every good deed, alms, selfless help and prayer for others will find its justification, decorate the soul of a merciful person and make his life more joyful and happy.
