Happiness is a natural state of a person, in which he, however, does not always stay, but to which he constantly strives. And since this is a very important category, scientists are showing great interest in it. For example, in psychological science there is a whole area - the psychology of happiness, which studies this phenomenon.
The concept of happiness in psychology
Today, the most famous in the field of psychologists of happiness are the works of M. Argyll. According to the scientist's interpretation, happiness is a state of complete satisfaction with life. Moreover, it consists of a positive person towards himself, towards the people around him and towards the world as a whole. The condition is due to social factors, for example, the presence of psychological support and friendly ties with the immediate environment. In addition, the sources of happiness are favorite work, good relationships with colleagues, sufficient material incentives, interesting leisure time, health and high vitality.
A separate section here is conditionally called "the psychology of your happiness", which studies the personal factors that affect the state of satisfaction of an individual. This is high self-esteem, self-esteem and meaning in life, often positively experienced by a person.
Happy family in psychology
A very important factor is a happy marriage and psychology considers it as a harmonious relationship, in which there is not only love, but also respect, support and a variety of types of communication. To make the family union happy, experts advise not to "wash dirty linen in public", never under any circumstances speak badly about a partner in front of third parties, find common hobbies, spend time together more often, touch each other more often, avoid protracted conflicts, be able to make concessions and compromises.
It is these feelings that people strive for when they try to improve their lives by burning out at work and draining themselves in the business race.
People believe that by making their lives well, they will become happy. They want to be content by creating a living environment that matches their level of comfort. And all this in order to be happy. But tell me, Friend, if you were happy now, would you be chasing your current goals? For everyone? Would you still want what you want now? And why, if you are already happy?
Drug addicts, when injected, can live in a barn and still get high. It's just biochemistry - they have a dose, they are high. How are you different from them? For them a dose of a drug, for you a new home. You are attached to your goals just as drug addicts are attached to a needle. And for you and for them, goals are a source of pleasure and nothing more. If you were given a legal way to enjoy yourself, you would quit what you are doing now 95% out of 100.
It is too early…
Calmer….
Relax….
Get an answer ...
Can you be happy if you don't have what you want? Can. Should you be happy without getting what you want? Worth it. Do I have to wish for something? Of course you should, but you shouldn't get attached to your desires.
Attachment to desire arises from the fact that the object of desire becomes a source of happiness. The object of desire, not you ... But happiness is in you. Why look for a reason to be happy when you can just be happy? After all, for happiness you do not need anything and anyone but you. And you have yourself. What else do you want?
Now imagine that you are happy every day. Just because you like to be happy. You wake up in the morning not because you have to get up, but because you really want to get up. Some pleasant and interesting, favorite things await you and nothing more. No hassle, worries or problems. All is decided. Everything has been done for a long time. You have already achieved everything. Do you still have some external keys of happiness, or do you have enough of your inner source?
By the way, mind you, the fact that now you are not happy now and are waiting for reasons for happiness may indicate that you do not want to be happy. After all, for happiness you only need your desire to be happy. Only desire ... Why don't you want to be happy?
If you are happy just like that, for no reason, then you are free from attachment to goals and have the opportunity to choose a truly attractive future for yourself. You are not drawn to goals that were previously your desired sources of happiness. You realize that these were only illusions. You are imperiously attracted by the goals that you like. You are happy and you know how you want to live. And you only do what you want to do. All the rest you brush as unnecessary to you. This is freedom of will, freedom of choice and freedom of life. When you are happy, you are free. This is the axiom of life.
Just because you are happy and not chasing untrue goals does not mean that you are content with what you have. On the contrary, you are rapidly and powerfully decorating your life with what is truly dear to you. What you really love. You do not fall in love with all women in a row, just because you need to love. You love all the people around you because you are happy and you like to love. You are not attached to the place of residence, because you have invested a lot of money in it. You love change, because happiness is where you are.
You do not suffer losses because you feel the lack of what was lost. The only loss for you is a change in matter and space, and you know that there is nothing without which you could not live. You are free and you are happy. You are happy and you are free. Now it is no longer possible to say what is the cause of what. There is an equal sign between happiness and freedom, not an arrow indicating the direction of movement.
Happiness in the soul makes it possible for love to be. An unhappy person cannot love. A happy person easily loves. Love is an ocean. Infinite, omnipotent and life-giving. Love is creation. Love is the creation of beauty. Love is life itself. A person who loves cannot destroy beauty. But a person who does not love, on the contrary, seeks to create more ugliness. Love in the soul gives rise to the desire to decorate the world. Everything that differs from love evokes from non-existence “not life” - destruction and death.
The world is beautiful. The Creator, when he created it, created it beautiful and harmonious. Such a world could only be created with love. Love is the foundation of our world. When we leave love, and even worse - never enter into it, we do not live in the world of the Creator, but in the world we have built. We, it is worth admitting, are not yet Creators, but rather destroyers. The Creator created a world in which love and happiness are the norm of life. We have created a world in which hatred and anger are the norm. But is it worth comparing these two worlds?
When we are happy, we love. When we love, we begin to change our world and make it the world of the Creator. We ourselves become Creators and the stronger the more Love we have.
Happiness in terms of positive psychology.
Happiness is a state of lightness and a sense of the unprecedented significance of our existence.
It is a feeling of joyful fulfillment of being.
Each of us dreams of happiness as a lasting pleasure, either explicitly or secretly. It may seem that happiness is just a myth, a gimmick to get us to work harder or consume more.
Happiness ... What is it and where does it come from? Are we able to hold on to it as it descends on us? And does it always turn out to be similar to how we imagine it? There is neither a universal definition of it, nor a well-defined path to it. That is why positive psychology set out to help each of us build our own happiness.
Dmitry Leontiev, director of the Institute of Existential Psychology and Life Creativity, summarized the discoveries of modern science so that it would be easier for us to pave our path to happiness.
Happiness has been talked about and written about since Antiquity. But thinkers and scientists cannot agree on what happiness is and how to achieve it. It was declared both the main goal and the meaning of existence, and a harmful illusion that prevents a person from getting closer to the truth. Psychologists began to seriously study happiness only a quarter of a century ago. This is how positive psychology arose - the science of the good life, or, as it is often called, the science of happiness. And now we can talk about well-being, satisfaction, the joy of life, relying on experimental data and proven facts. Many of them force us to reconsider the generally accepted ideas ...
Overall life assessment
There is nothing more difficult than defining what happiness is. Some of us call happiness short-term, but very intense state of bliss, others - stable feeling of well-being; someone speaks of him as possession of something important or about a special feeling that does not depend on whether there are objective grounds for it ... If, however, we recognize as happiness such a life that we consider the most satisfying and positive, then the facts are indisputable: the happiest are not those who experience the most acute experiences of bliss , and those with a positive attitude are the most stable.
But objective "reasons" for happiness are not always found. Professor at the University of Bremen (Germany) Ursula Staudinger calls it the paradox of subjective well-being - we are often happy despite the fact that there is no reason for this.
There is more happiness than we think
Even the happiest people get discouraged sometimes, and the most unhappy have delightful moments. Happiness does not arise due to us or circumstances, it obeys only its own logic, and perhaps that is why we tend to underestimate it.
American psychologists asked study participants to rate the level of happiness for those who are deprived of fate (disabled, unemployed, mentally ill, poor African American), and then compared the results with the reality. Most of the respondents believed that such people simply cannot be happy, but in fact it turned out that there are significantly more happy people among them than unhappy people!
In virtually all countries and social groups, the average happiness score is well above zero. Even in the most unfavorable and difficult places to survive - in the African jungle, in the snows of Greenland and in the slums of Calcutta - the population is more likely than not happy.
Miscellaneous wellbeing
When talking about happiness, psychologists have in mind several of its varieties, explains Ed Diener, a leading specialist in positive psychology and professor at the University of Illinois (USA).
We usually use the word "happiness" as a general term, but it comes in many varieties.
We distinguish the quality of life (the level of well-being and other objective parameters of our life) and positive emotions, subjective and psychological well-being.
Subjective well-being is how happy a person is from his (subjective) point of view, how he values \u200b\u200bhis life. Subjective well-being means that we can say about ourselves: "I like my life.", "I feel like I'm living well." Subjective well-being involves a combination of life satisfaction and positive emotions.
Psychological well-being is a term coined by American psychologist Carol Riff. Her model of psychological well-being suggests that, in addition to satisfying basic needs, a person also needs self-acceptance, autonomy, control over his environment, positive relationships, a goal in life and personal growth. In other words, psychological well-being assumes that a person is "fully functioning" psychologically, even if at the moment he does not feel happy.
Happiness depends on us, not on circumstances
What determines how happy we are? American psychologists Sonya Lubomirsky and Ken Sheldon summarized everything that is known to science in this regard, and presented it as a circle divided into three parts of different sizes. The biggest ( 50 % ) - this influence our temperament, personality, that is heredity... Some of us from childhood feel generally happy, no matter what happens to them, while others find it difficult to feel that they are doing well. The smallest part ( about 10%) - this influence external circumstances, including the place where we live, the level of our income, the quality of education, belonging to a particular social circle. So, from the point of view of psychologists, going somewhere in pursuit of happiness is simply pointless. Finally, another big part ( 40% ) - how we ourselves build our lives: what goals we strive for, what people we communicate with, what activities we choose, what kind of life we \u200b\u200blead ...
So that our happiness depends on ourselves much more than we used to think!
One of the easiest ways to assess your life satisfaction is offered by psychologist Ed Diener.
Personal happiness test.
Using a scale of 1 to 7, express your degree of agreement with each of the five statements below.
Try to answer honestly and frankly.
1. In many ways, my life is close to my ideal.
2. The circumstances of my life are wonderful.
3. I am satisfied with my life.
4. In my life I have what I really need.
5. If I could live life anew, I would hardly change anything.
Now add up all five numbers, and you get the overall result: it should be between 5 and 35 points. This test shows how satisfied you are with your life. A score between 15 and 25 is considered average, a score of less than 14 means your life satisfaction is below average, and if your score is between 26 and 35, you are most likely quite happy with the way you live.
There is little happiness in money
Numerous studies prove that money does not make us happy. But why is this myth so persistent? Actually money brings happiness, but not for long... As a comparison of different countries and people of different incomes in the same countries shows, for poor people, happiness is directly related to material well-being, and this feeling increases with the growth of income. But when the basic needs of life are satisfied (there is a roof over their heads and medical care, a person does not starve, he can afford rest and give a good education to children), further income growth does not make people happier... In general, as wisely noted Sholem Aleichem, not so good with money, as bad without money.
And one more thing: people for whom money is especially important feel more unhappy than those who are philosophical about the material side of life.
When you are understood
This common belief, formulated in the film "We'll Live Until Monday" (directed by Stanislav Rostotsky, 1969), is confirmed in numerous studies of psychologists.
One of the surest foundations for happiness is close, warm, and deep relationships.: family, romantic, friendly. Married and married are definitely happier than single, divorced and widowed. But the very fact of registering a marriage does not lead to a persistent increase in the feeling of life satisfaction compared to the previous period. The point is still in the relationship itself, and not in the stamp in the passport.
The value of communicating with other people is one of the main theses of the science of happiness. Almost all of us feel happier with other people. The leaders of positive psychology, Ed Diener and Martin Seligman, found that students with a high (according to test results) level of happiness have only one thing in common - the presence of close relationships in their lives.
Genetic capital
Heredity is an important factor, but our “attitudes” cannot seriously prevent us from enjoying life.
It seems that some of us are born more predisposed to happiness than others. In 1996, American researcher David Lycken published an article on the role of heredity in determining the degree of life satisfaction. By studying identical twins, he concluded that life satisfaction is about 50% dependent on our genes. Indeed, the "settings" inherent in us from birth to some extent limit our capabilities, but how many of us have tried to go beyond the "default"? As the famous English writer wrote Gilbert Chesterton, fate is not what happens to us, no matter what we do, but what happens to us if we do nothing. Our inherited genes will not be able to prevent us from feeling happy if we decide to change something.
Different cultures see him differently.
A significant role is played by the fact how much we consider happiness to be necessary, necessary... This is primarily due to the characteristics of the culture, society and ideology in which we live, as well as the influence of fashion.
Western civilization in every possible way promotes the fashion for happiness, because of which people experiencing failures and hardships are simply afraid to admit them. In some countries, people feel happier than they should be based on objective parameters, while in others, on the contrary, the majority of the population feels unhappy people.
The former include, for example, China with a high level of mutual support from people, a habit of a difficult life and low expectations about their happiness, and latin American countrieswhere positive emotions are traditionally cultivated.
The second is rich Japanwhere it is difficult to maintain a positive outlook on life due to the strong pressure of social norms and requirements, and almost all countries of Eastern Europe and the former USSRwhere instability and destruction of the usual way of life affect people's self-awareness.
Russiain the 1990s and early 2000s, it was among the outsiders, fortunately, being inferior, according to polls, even to such (economically more disadvantaged) countries as Uzbekistan and Bangladesh. To some extent, this is due to the fact that in our culture it is not customary to demonstrate your happiness and well-being. However, today 77% of Russians say that they feel they are happy people.
Prescription bliss?
Can modern pharmacology help us become happier? Neurologist Zinaida Kolesnikova's opinion.
“It is worth clarifying what drugs are in question. So, relanium, valium and others tranquilizers really can be called "pills of happiness". These drugs actively act on the nervous system, soothe, relieve stress, anxiety. A person relaxes, loses a sense of reality and begins to perceive everything in pink. Those who take these pills, risk get used to them pretty quickly and completely lose the taste for life.
Antidepressants, such as Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, Fevarin, help people who live actively, work a lot and cannot cope with overloads - a consequence of their excessive employment. Antidepressants allow them to be calmer, to look at life more soberly, to adequately respond to what is happening, not to splash emotions. But do they make a person happier? Unlikely: after all no pill can solve the problem of the emptiness of a person's existence, fill his life with meaning».
It is useful to be satisfied
The experience of happiness is wonderful in itself. But happy people find themselvesbesides professionally more successful, they are more appreciated by managers and clients, they are out of work less often and for a shorter period and change it less often. In general, they are healthier, miss fewer days of work due to illness.
Happiness, as well as positive emotions, a sense of contentment, a sense of well-being and hope, reduce the risk of cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, and colds. In the same living conditions happy people live longer, have better immunity and are more likely to recover after a serious operation.
The conclusion about the connection between happiness and longevity was made as a result of an analysis of the lives of 18-year-old girls who entered one monastery. Subsequently, they led an equally modest life and all worked at school. It turned out that the level of happiness predetermines life expectancy. Based on the number of expressions of happiness in the girls' posts, the researchers identified a quarter of the happiest and a quarter of the most unhappy girls. 90% of the happiest nuns were still alive at 85 years old (among the unhappy - only 34%). 54% of the happiest nuns were still alive at 94 years old (among the unhappy - 11%).
Happy people are more altruistic, socially active, perceive others more kindly, and solve creative problems better. Generally, happiness, as science now knows, does not make us selfish; on the contrary, self-obsession and inattention to others is much more characteristic of those who are unhappy.
Happiness can grow
Each of us has an individual range of happiness: although life events affect the feeling of happiness, after a certain time, its level again returns to its starting point.
However, not everyone: possibly a sustained increase in individual happiness... Therefore, knowing the ways to increase the level of happiness, and applying them in our life, we can really become happier.
So happiness is possible. It is influenced by many factors, but it depends to a greater extent not on external circumstances, but on how we build our life... Ed Diener and Martin Seligman compare true happiness with beautiful symphonic music, where many instruments create the sound, but none of them alone is sufficient.
And everyone has their own way to happiness, unique and inimitable.
Based on materials from PSYCHOLOGIES magazine
Often, waking up at dawn, you think about one question that concerns you personally, your life, your worldview. And this question takes you for a long time, not giving rest and not bringing a feeling of satisfaction.
My world consists of two parts - the core and the shell. The shell is always approximately in one "happy" state - this is an image of the fact that I am always glad to everyone, my mood is always upbeat, I do not have troubles in my life and everything is going exactly the way I want.
If behaviorists analyzed my behavior, they would think that I am a very successful, self-confident and happy person. And there is. I have achieved most of what I wanted to get out of life, both materially and morally.
There is also the second - the main part of me, which I open to few people. And this part is a perfect specimen for psychoanalysts. There is a core inside me, which boils and burns from everything that happens in me. Any feeling brings the core to an extreme boiling point, the thought makes it boil, and each new day allows my core to stay hot.
External calmness hides deep inner feelings, wars for the right decision, thought processes, which in the future allow you to act according to plan. This core determines my state of happiness.
It seems to me that people who call themselves unhappy are happy in their own way in their world.
Happiness is such a difficult state when it is not there, and so easy when it is absorbed. It doesn't depend on the circumstances - it's what's inside. The same circumstances make one person happy with life, and another quite the opposite. Motherhood raises one woman to heaven, for another it means postpartum depression. For some, money is happiness, for others it is a source of problems, a headache. And so in everything, wherever you look.
For me, happiness is life. Living in the absence of happiness is pretense. I wake up and am already happy. It is raining - it is beautiful, the sun is shining - wonderful, snow - everything is white and beautiful. Every day is full of events, adventures and incredible discoveries. I love to live, I love to be happy.
I don’t know how you can live differently, is it possible to live unhappy at all? Sometimes it seems to me: people who call themselves unhappy are happy in their own way in their world. They are so comfortable and like it.
The greatest happiness, or rather, his maximum presence, I felt during pregnancy and in the first minutes after giving birth to a son. Now he is four years old, and the state of happiness never leaves me for a minute. I am with him every day, and when I need to go somewhere and he stays at home, I understand how many amazing moments I lose. But upon returning home, his strong hugs and words: "How good that you came!" make up for these moments.
My happiness is my imagination. I can be what I want, where I want, and do what I like
For me, happiness is when I understand: everything that happens around me is created by great inspiration. This inspiration allows you to live, not exist. It also creates, destroys, brings changes to being. And when you think about such questions, you begin to understand how everything around you is universally simple, concise and harmonious.
It seems to me that happiness cannot be measured, it is hidden under satisfaction, joy and other pleasant feelings. And sometimes quite the opposite - for equally strong unpleasant sensations that unsettle, but allow us to stay afloat. This "lifeline", in my opinion, is happiness itself. The concept of happiness is so broad, but at the same time so narrow that it is impossible to discern from which side to explore it.
My happiness is early morning, tickling sunlight, warm hugs, pleasant words of tenderness and love, family breakfast, heartfelt conversation, a trip to the mountains with loved ones, a breath of air, the smell of flowers, the morning sea tide. Of course, these are all paraphernalia. If none of the above is present at the moment, I still keep it in my imagination.
My happiness is my imagination. I can be what I want, where I want, and do what I like. Everything that concerns my world, I create myself.
Yes, grief does happen in my life, but they pass. After the evening sunset, night falls, followed by the long-awaited moment of dawn. Even at the most difficult moment in life, you need to remember that everything will pass, you need to be able to be happy always and everywhere. We have no second chance at life.
