Questionnaire of radical forgiveness with explanations. Questionnaire for radical self-forgiveness with a detailed video instruction for it. "Look what I've made!"

Radical Self Forgiveness Questionnaire

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Date ________________ Questionnaire No. ________________

1st step. The act that I did (or that I failed to do) is...

The first step in the Radical Forgiveness process is always TALKING YOUR STORY (why and for what you want to forgive yourself). Please tell us fully and openly about what you have done or done. Do not make excuses, do not apologize, avoid any spiritual or psychological interpretations and reasoning. ( We will reach them in due time.) Be extremely honest with yourself. Don't hide anything. Write as much as you see fit - the page has no restrictions.

2nd step. What does my self-condemnation tell me about myself? It says that...

Imagine your own critical, judgmental self. Be an unbiased critic and describe everything you need to say about yourself. Don't be afraid to be cocky, malevolent and vengeful and lay out all the ins and outs. Do not hide anything and do not restrain yourself, since these assessments and judgments directly relate to your attitude towards yourself. In short, do not be shy about feelings and expressions addressed to you!

3rd step. How do I feel about myself in this situation or in general?[You can fill in the cells without restriction - as much as you see fit.]

In relation to myself, I feel that I ...

I don't recognize myself	deaf and closed	angry	restrained	mocking
full of despair	critical	annoyed	full of doubt	indifferent
weak	sad	caustic	hostile	lonely
full of hate	jealous	vengeful	furious
isolated	defective	stupid	full of remorse
depressed	full of shame	guilty	suicidal

Overall, I feel like I...

Whether you have just one or all three feelings, rate each on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is a barely expressed feeling and 10 is a violent emotional flurry. SHAME ANGER FEAR

You need to fully experience your feelings. The main thing is to surrender to them and feel them. Don't censor them and don't suppress. Remember: we came into this world in order to experience emotions - this is the essence of human existence. All emotions are good, as long as we don't repress them. Suppressed emotions create potentially dangerous energy blocks in our bodies—blocks that often cause cancer.

4th step. I lovingly acknowledge and accept my feelings and no longer judge them.

This important step will help you to some extent free yourself from the belief that feelings such as anger, shame, guilt, fear, jealousy, envy, and even sadness are bad and should be denied in yourself. Whatever your emotions, you must feel them exactly as they arise - for feelings are manifestations of your true being. Your soul wants to experience them to the fullest. Know that all emotions are perfect and stop judging yourself for having them.

You can really help yourself get in touch with your feelings if you do some physical action while at the same time using their vocal cords. Take, for example, a tennis racket and hit the pillow with it, shouting loudly or shouting out something that depresses you. If loud screams create a problem for others, you can simply cry into the pillow.

I have experienced stress many times myself and I can say from my own experience that the most important thing is to give free rein to your feelings, whatever they may be, and then find a way to express them in some harmless way.

SELF-ESTEEM:

On a scale from 1 to - the lowest score, 10 - the highest) my self-esteem, circle the appropriate number:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

5th step. I am the master of my feelings. Nobody can make me feel anything. My feelings are a reflection of how I see the situation.

This wording reminds us that our emotions are ours and that they clearly reflect our beliefs.

When we feel, acknowledge, accept and love our feelings without any additional conditions as an integral part of ourselves that wants to be heard, this helps us with b about treat them with great mercy and love, even if we don’t understand where they come from or what part of us “voices” in each this moment. (It could be your inner critic, a whiner, a professor, a parent, or any of the many sub-personalities that live within us.)

6th step. I feel guilty.

On a scale from 1 to - lowest score, 10 - highest) my level of guilt is approximately circle 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 .

Despite the fact that everything is subject to the Divine order, we must recognize and accept the idea that we - as a consequence of our choice to be human - are given the opportunity to experience (along with all other emotions) and feeling guilt. All this is part of the Divine plan.

It is equally part of the same plan that we learn to be aware of our feelings, to attach to them, and to grasp the subtle difference in their meaning. The feeling of guilt is given to us so that we can, for example, see the difference between what we must feel guilty about things you shouldn't. That is the difference between proportionate and disproportionate guilt. This skill will save us from confusion and pain, because the feeling of guilt that possesses us is for the most part precisely disproportionate.

My fault for what happened: proportionate disproportionate mixed

Please explain why:

7th step. Although I do not know how or why this happens, I now understand that my soul created this situation for my learning and development.

Perhaps this is the most important statement in the questionnaire. It is designed to strengthen you in the belief that a person's life experience is created by his thoughts, feelings and ideas. Moreover, the soul organizes its reality in such a way as to promote its spiritual growth. Once you open yourself to this truth, the problem almost always disappears. This happens because problems do not really exist - there is only a false perception of what is happening.

This statement encourages us to accept the possibility that the situation served a purpose and to let go of the need to find out how and why it happened.

Here, people with an intellectual mindset usually have considerable difficulties. Before believing in something, they require "proof". Therefore, they are ready to admit that the situation offers them the possibility of healing, only on the condition that they find out “why” this happens.

This is a dead end, because to find out how and why things happen is to try to get into the mind of God. And at the current level spiritual development we are not yet able to penetrate them. Therefore, one must give up the desire to know “why” (especially since this is a question inherent in the victims anyway) and unconditionally accept the idea that God does not make mistakes and everything is subject to the Divine order.

The significance of this step is that it helps you move away from the victim mindset and see the possibility that the person, fact, or situation that caused your problem accurately reflects the part of you that you have rejected and is now crying out for acceptance. . At this stage, you recognize that the Divine within you, the knowing part of your being, the soul, whatever you want to call it, has specially arranged the situation so that you can learn, grow and get rid of your misperceptions or false beliefs.

And this step, like the previous one, helps you gain strength. As soon as a person understands that he himself created the situation, the power to change it wakes up in him. He has a choice: either consider himself a victim of circumstances, or see them as an opportunity for learning, growth and conscious organization of his own life.

Don't judge yourself for creating this situation. Remember: your Divine beginning created it. If you judge the Divine in yourself, then you judge God. Recognize that you are a beautiful creative Divine Being teaching yourself lessons on the spiritual path - lessons that will ultimately bring you home. As soon as you can recognize this, you can trust your Divine principle, and it will do the rest.

8th step. I acknowledge that my mission, or my "contract of the soul", includes this experience - and there are certain reasons for this that I do not need to know.

A “soul contract” is an agreement we make with other souls before we come into this world and have a human experience. The meaning of this contract is to carry out certain, pre-planned goals together with them (souls), for example, to balance karmic energies, rid a group of people of a disease, expand group consciousness on a number of certain issues, etc. How to find out what is this goal? It is unlikely that any of the people know this, and it is not necessary. We just need to consider the possibility that the situation we feel guilty of creating may have arisen as a result of this “soul contract”, and if other people are involved in it, then they are most likely the very souls with whom we signed a contract.

9th step. Now I understand that everything done / done by me or someone else is neither bad nor good in itself. I refuse any judgment.

This step contradicts everything that we have been told since childhood, teaching us to distinguish good from bad, good from evil. After all, the whole world is divided in two by these borders. Yes, we know that the human world is just an illusion. However, our human experience requires us to be able to distinguish between these polarities in our Everyday life(for example, to distinguish proportionate guilt from disproportionate or responsibility from irresponsibility).

It will help us to take this step by realizing that good and bad, good and evil do not differ from each other only when we look at them in the broadest spiritual perspective - from the world of Divine Truth. Looking from there, we can go beyond our sense perception and mental constructions and see the Divine purpose and meaning in everything that happens. As soon as we look at the situation in this perspective, we understand that there is nothing good or bad in it. She just is. Truly, there are no victims or criminals in it. We are all healing angels for each other, initiated into each other's spiritual development.

However, in the process of forgiving themselves, people master this stage with much more about more work than when they forgive others. Indeed, it is much easier for them to admit that when they hurt or harm other people, this process is full of perfection than to imagine that when they themselves are the victims, this is also perfection, in the sense that it is all part of the Divine. plan. Therefore, in the process of forgiving ourselves, we have to put in a little more effort to equally realize the same truth. After all, if there are no victims, then there are no perpetrators.

10th step. I release the need to blame and be right. I am READY to see perfection in the situation as it is.

This column indicates to you the perfection of the situation and tests your readiness to see this perfection.

Although it is always difficult for a person to see the perfection or goodness in the bad deeds that we have done, very, very difficult, we can nevertheless show a desire to see this perfection, a desire to give up value judgments and a desire to give up the need to be right.

While it will always be difficult for us to accept that both the tormentor and the tormented have somehow created the situation themselves in order to learn from it on a soul level, and that their mission is to transform the situation for the sake of all who are being bullied - we may be willing to consider this thought.

Obviously than stronger man involved in a situation, the more difficult it is for him to see perfection in it. However, seeing perfection does not always mean understanding it. We cannot know the reasons why things happen the way they do. You just have to believe that everything happens in a perfect way and for the highest good of each and every one.

11th step. Although I still do not understand how and why this happens, I now realize: I got exactly what I want and what I myself chose on a subconscious level, and what we together (if other people were involved in the situation) performed in relation to each other friend dance of healing.

This statement once again reminds us that we can become directly aware of our subconscious beliefs if we look at what is happening in our lives. At every moment of our lives, exactly what we really want is happening. At the level; soul, we ourselves have chosen all the situations and experiences of our life, and this choice cannot be wrong. The same applies to all participants in the drama. Remember: there are no tormentors and victims - only players. Each participant in the situation gets exactly what he wants. We are all participating in a healing dance.

12th step. I am proud of myself for being willing to play my part in the healing of others and I thank them for being willing to play their part in my healing.

13th step. I free my mind from all feelings:

I classify these feelings as:

SHAME ANGER FEAR

Here I get the opportunity to announce that I am freeing myself from all the feelings listed in point 3.

Letting go of emotions and their corresponding thoughts plays an important role in the process of forgiving yourself. As long as these thoughts remain in place, they will continue to energize the old belief system—the one that created the reality we are now trying to transform. By affirming that we have let go of both the feelings and the thoughts associated with them, we thereby begin the healing process.

Emotions related to the situation may return from time to time, but this should not be given much importance. Simply be willing to feel them fully, and then let go—if only for a moment—so that the light of awareness can shine into your being and enable you to see your false perceptions. And then you can again decide to look at the situation differently.

14th step. I am proud of my willingness to acknowledge my misperceptions and I am grateful for the opportunity to resort to Radical Self Forgiveness.

This is another opportunity to experience gratitude and appreciation for oneself for being willing to heal and grow in the process.

15th step. NEW FORMULATION / NEW FRAME OF THE SITUATION. I now realize that everything I experienced (my perpetrator/victim story) was an accurate reflection of my purely human perception of the situation. Now I understand that I can change this "reality" simply by being willing to see spiritual perfection in this situation.

For example… (Try to reformulate your story in terms of Radical Forgiveness.)

It can be common words like knowing that everything is perfect, or a specific analysis of your situation, if you really see how perfection manifested itself in it. (Note: most of the time you won't see this.)

What is USELESS is to present an interpretation of what happened based on assumptions originating in the human world, such as explaining the reasons why everything happened or justifying oneself. Thus, you can simply replace one false story with another, or even slide into pseudo-forgiveness.

The new interpretation should help you see the perfection of what happened from a spiritual point of view and open up to the gift that this situation brings to you. It is necessary that the new wording suggest seeing the hand of the Lord in the situation, or the Divine mind, which with great love acts for your benefit.

Note. You may have to fill out many questionnaires about the same situation before you see perfection in it. Be absolutely honest with yourself and always focus on your feelings. There are no right answers, no goals, no estimates, no final product. The whole value of the process lies in itself - in the work you do. Any result is perfect. Resist the urge to edit and evaluate what you write. You cannot write something wrong.

If you can't make up a new interpretation of your particular situation, that's not a problem. One can simply restate the situation in terms of Radical Forgiveness in general terms, for example: Everything that happened was nothing more than the fulfillment of the Divine plan. My Higher Self organized this is for my/our spiritual growth, and everyone involved in the situation (if any) danced the healing dance with me, so nothing really bad happened." Here it is quite appropriate to write something like this. On the other hand, if you have any ideas about how perfection manifested itself in your situation, so much the better.

New wording of the situation:

16th step. I completely forgive myself, ___________, and accept myself as loving, generous and creative personality. I release any need to cling to negative emotions and ideas that carry limitations and dissatisfaction with themselves. I refuse to direct my energy into the past and break down all barriers that have separated me from the love and abundance that I own. I, the creator of my thoughts, feelings and life, return to myself the right to unconditionally love and support myself - the way I am, in all my splendor.

The significance of this statement cannot be overestimated. Say it out loud and feel it with all your heart. Let these words echo within you.

If you feel internal resistance that prevents you from accepting the truth of these words, be ready to overcome it, knowing that peace and joy await you at the end. And be prepared to go through the pain, depression, chaos, and confusion that may come your way along the way.

17th step. Now I give myself into the power of the Higher Power, which I call God. I am confident that this situation will continue to develop in a perfect manner, in accordance with Divine guidance and spiritual law. I recognize my oneness with the Source and feel my connection with it. I returned to my true nature, which is LOVE. I close my eyes to feel the love flowing through me. I am overwhelmed with joy that goes hand in hand with love.

It - last step the process of forgiving yourself. However, this step is not taken by you. You are only acknowledging your willingness to do it and letting the Higher Power finish the process. Ask that the healing be completed by God's grace, that you return to your true nature, which is Love, and be reunited with your Source, which is also Love.

This final step gives you the opportunity to put aside any words, thoughts, and concepts and actually feel love. After all, if to speak in essence, there is only one love. If you can truly connect to this source of love, then you are at home and you are free. Nothing more needs to be done.

So take a few minutes to meditate on this statement and open yourself to the feeling of love. You may have to do this exercise many times before you feel it. But one day, when you least expect it, you will be enveloped in love and joy.

18th step. Reaching out to those I have hurt or negatively affected.

“Now, having completed this questionnaire, I realize that everything that happened was done in accordance with the Divine order. However, since I am still in this physical world, a world of pain and suffering, I still want to make a Radical Apology, make amends and ask for forgiveness from all of you."

The philosophy of Radical Apology recognizes the fact that, within a purely human concepts, someone can be hurt, that this circumstance is worthy of every regret, and that one can probably even feel a sense of "proportionate" guilt for it. Thus, we bear full responsibility for what happened within the framework of the moral criteria that the human community adheres to, and we show our readiness to answer for what we have done. At the same time, however, we do not discount the possibility that everything that has happened serves some purpose. highest goal and that everything happens in this way, and not otherwise, for some special, unknown to us reasons.

However, since it is still difficult for us - as perpetrators or perpetrators - to understand that the situation is perfection (and as victims it may be even more difficult for us to understand), a sincere expression of condolence and compassion (rather than regret) can help both parties. Moreover, condolences are not about what happened (what happened, it happened), but about the fact that this person(to a human being) has caused mischief or damage.

Here is my Radical Apology:

19th step. Appeal to yourself.

You started this questionnaire by blaming yourself for some wrongdoing and feeling ashamed of some part of yourself. Since then, your energy has probably undergone a shift, even if that shift only happened a second or two ago. How do you perceive this situation now? What would you like to say to yourself? Try to write these lines, turning off your consciousness if possible and not evaluating your words. Let the writing surprise even you. (Resist the temptation to slip back into self-blame.)

Perhaps, after you unconditionally acknowledge, accept and love yourself for who you are, you can free yourself from the perception of yourself as an imperfect person.

Perhaps after that you will be able to accept another truth: the way you appear to people reflects your true essence. Spirit decided that this is how you should be.

I am writing to myself:

After writing the appeal, say the following aloud:

“I completely forgive you, ______________ [insert your name here], for from now on I realize that you have done nothing wrong and that everything is subject to the Divine order. I unconditionally recognize, accept and love you for who you are.

Remember: forgiveness always starts as a lie. When you start this process, you have no forgiveness in your heart and you are on the path from feigned to genuine, that is fake reality until you believe it. So give yourself credit for doing this, but still be indulgent with yourself and let the process of forgiveness take as long as you need to see it through. Be patient. Thank yourself for having the courage to simply fill out the Radical Forgiveness Questionnaire—for truly, while working on the questionnaire, you have met your demons. It takes a great deal of courage, will, and faith to do this work.

When you have finished writing your self-address, read these lines aloud: “I am aware that I ________________[ enter your name here] is a spiritual being endowed with a human experience, and I love and support myself in all my human manifestations.”

SELF-ESTEEM. On a scale from 1 to - the lowest score, 10 - the highest), my self-esteem is . 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Representing. to your attention the Radical Forgiveness Questionnaire, working with which the blocked energies are released and the problem due to which you fill out this Questionnaire will gradually be solved in the best way for you.

If you learn to perceive life's collisions and people who are seriously annoying around you, as an invaluable opportunity to a better life you will open the door to a new reality. “… whenever someone upsets you or makes you feel negative emotions, that person is simply giving you an opportunity to heal. And where before you would have been inclined to get bogged down in your drama, now you just need to take the application form and begin the process of forgiveness. Fill out questionnaire after questionnaire until the energy that has accumulated around the situation, person or case dissipates. This may take a few days or a few months. Although it is possible that one questionnaire will be enough. It all depends on what problems the situation resonates with and what emotions it awakens in you. (Colin K. Tipping)

Instructions for use

1) You should not simultaneously fill out one after the other Questionnaires about many people with whom the tube would like to change relations and whom you would like to forgive.

2) Focus on one issue rather than trying to work through all of the biggest issues in your past at once.

3) The questionnaire does not require you to painfully dig into the past, with the intent to resolve past traumatic situations. The fact is that the person who gives you grief or trouble now personifies ALL who gave you such grief in the past.

4) Any situation that upsets you is worth working through with a questionnaire. After all, behind today's apparently not very serious problem, in fact, serious subconscious blocks can be masked. Remember that by not taking into account small problems, you allow them to grow into large ones without hindrance.

5) Initially test the Questionnaire on questions that are simple and do not carry a particularly serious emotional load.

6) Remember that true forgiveness involves your complete renunciation of the consciousness of the victim.

Questionnaire "Make room for a miracle"

The date: ______________

An object (X)- the reason for your disappointment

_____________________________________________________________________________

N°	questionnaire question	Your reply
1	A situation that made me angry. How do I perceive it now?
2-a	Claims to X: I'm angry with you because:
2-b	Your behavior makes me feel the following (identify your true emotions here):
3	I lovingly acknowledge and accept my feelings and no longer judge them.
4	I am the master (mistress) of my feelings. Nobody can make me feel anything. My feelings are a reflection of how I see the situation.	- ready (a) - doubt - not ready (a) - inclined (a)
5	Although I do not know how or why this happens, I now understand that the soul created this situation for my learning and personal growth.	- ready (a) - doubt - not ready (a) - inclined (a)
6	I see some clues in my life—namely, recurring situations and other "coincidences"—indicating that there have been many healing opportunities in my life that I didn't notice at the time. For example:
7	I am ready (a) to admit that my mission, or "soul contact", includes this experience - and there are certain reasons for this that I do not need to know.	- ready (a) - doubt - not ready (a) - inclined (a)
8	My dissatisfaction (upset) with this situation served as a signal to me that I deprived (la) love of myself and X - which manifested itself in condemnation, unmet expectations, desire to X changed, and in the opinion that X imperfect. (List your expectations and actions that indicate that you would like to X changed.)
9	I understand that I get upset only when someone gets into resonance with those aspects of my being that I deny in myself, displace and project onto other people.	- ready (a) - doubt - not ready (a) - inclined (a)
10	X ____________ reflects what I need to love and accept about myself.	- ready (a) - doubt - not ready (a) - inclined (a)
11	X ____________ reflects my false perception of reality. forgiving X I heal and create a new reality for myself.	- ready (a) - doubt - not ready (a) - inclined (a)
12	Now I understand that no action X or other people are neither bad nor good. I refuse any judgment.	- ready (a) - doubt - not ready (a) - inclined (a)
13	I release myself from the need to judge and be right. I WANT to see perfection in the situation as it is.	- ready (a) - doubt - not ready (a) - inclined (a)
14	Although it is not yet clear to me how and why this happens, I am aware that we both (together) received what each of us chose on a subconscious level. We danced the healing dance together.	- ready (a) - doubt - not ready (a) - inclined (a)
15	I thank you, X __________ for agreeing to play your part in my healing. And I'm proud of myself for playing a part in your healing.	- ready (a) - doubt - not ready (a) - inclined (a)
16	I release my consciousness from all these feelings (feelings listed in column 2-b):
17	I thank you, X __________, readiness to become a mirror of my false perception and for the fact that you gave me the opportunity to show radical forgiveness and accept myself for who I am.	- ready (a) - I doubt - not ready (a) - inclined (a)
18	Now I realize that everything I experienced (the story of the victim) was an accurate reflection of my unhealthy perception of the situation. Now I understand that I can change this "reality" simply by being willing to see perfection in this situation. For example? (Try to reformulate the situation in terms of radical forgiveness. It could be general, like you know everything is perfect, or a specific analysis of your situation, if you really see how perfection manifested in it. Note: you usually don't see this. )
19	I completely forgive myself, ______, and accept myself as a loving, generous creative person. I release any need to cling to negative emotions and ideas that carry limitations and dissatisfaction with myself. I refuse to direct my energy into the past and break down all barriers that have separated me from the love and abundance that I own. I am the creator of my thoughts, feelings and life, I return to myself the right to unconditionally love and support myself such (such), what (what) I am in all my splendor.
20	Now I surrender myself to the power of the Higher Power, which I call God, the Higher Power, the Universal Mind, ___________. I am confident (a) that this situation will continue to develop in a perfect manner, in accordance with Divine guidance and spiritual laws. I recognize my oneness with the Source and feel my connection with it. I have returned to my true nature, which is Love, and now I treat X with love again. I close my eyes to feel the love flowing through me. I am overwhelmed with joy that goes hand in hand with love.
21	A note to you, X __________: Today, after completing this questionnaire, I _______ I forgive you with all my heart X, because now I see that you did not do anything wrong to me and everything that happened is subject to the Divine order. I thank, accept and love you without any preconditions - such (such), what (what) you are. (Note: This does not mean that I condone his behavior or that I am not going to take action in my defense. After all, we live in a human world.) (write the text of the note in the right field)
22	Note to Self: _________ I acknowledge that I am a spiritual entity having a human experience. I love and approve of myself in all my human manifestations

(commentary by Colin K. Tipping "Radical Forgiveness")

1. The situation that caused my discontent. How I perceive it now:

(Jeff neglects me, giving all his love and attention to his daughter, Lauren, and completely ignores me. He blames everything, me and says that I'm just emotionally unstable. He makes me feel stupid and good for nothing (It's heading for a divorce, and it's his fault. Jeff is forcing me to leave him.)

In this column, you talk about what upsets you. Define the situation. Don't hold yourself back. Describe how you see the situation at the moment. Avoid self-censorship and any spiritual and psychological interpretations. You have to give credit to the place where you are, even if you understand that you are in the human world, the world of ego and illusion. The very realization that you are experiencing an illusion and that you need to experience it is the first step on the path to liberation from this illusion.

Even if you have significantly increased your vibrations and spend a considerable part of your life in the world of Divine Truth, remember that it is easy to unbalance you and push you into the world of ego, where you will feel like a victim with all the ensuing consequences. This experience is necessary for a person. We cannot always be joyful and peaceful and see perfection in all situations without exception.

2a. Claims to X: I'm angry with you for what;

(You destroyed our family life. You offended and rejected me. Your behavior stinks a mile away, and I'm leaving you, bastard!)

Formulate your claims to X as sharply as possible, and specifically express what you accuse him of. This column is small in size, but try to express all your bitterness in the few words that fit here. If factor X does not have a name, give it a name so that it can be written about as a person. If the offender is no longer alive, write as if he is alive and sitting right in front of you. If you want to express your claims more fully, write a separate letter (see chapter 24). This step allows you to address the abuser directly. However, do not deviate from the topic. Do not discuss extraneous topics in the questionnaire or in the letter. In order to achieve your goal (radical forgiveness), you need to clarify exactly what is troubling you right now.

26. Your behavior makes me (identify your true emotions here):

(Deep resentment. I feel abandoned and betrayed. I am very lonely and sad. You made me angry.)

You need to give yourself the opportunity to fully experience your feelings. Don't censor or suppress them. Remember: we came into this world precisely to experience emotions - this is the essence of human existence. All emotions are good, as long as we don't repress them. Suppressed emotions create dangerous energy blocks in human bodies.

Try to identify exactly the emotions that you are experiencing, and not thoughts about own feelings. Are you angry, happy, sad, afraid? If you can't specifically identify your emotions, that's okay. Some people find it very difficult to distinguish between feelings. If you are one of those people, simply determine your general emotional state in connection with the situation.

If you want to feel emotions more strongly or more clearly, take a tennis racket and beat off a pillow. While pounding the pillow, try to make as much noise as possible. If your own anger scares you, ask someone to help you complete this exercise. This person should encourage you to express anger (or other emotions) and make you feel secure. Another effective method get rid of anger - scream into the pillow. As I have pointed out more than once, the more you feel the resentment, grief or fear that may be hiding behind anger, the better.

3. I lovingly acknowledge and accept my feelings and no longer judge them.

inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

This important step will help you to some extent free yourself from the belief that feelings such as anger, revenge, jealousy, envy, and even grief are bad and should be denied in yourself. Whatever your emotions, you must feel them exactly as they arise - for feelings are manifestations of your true being. Your soul wants to experience them to the fullest. Know that all emotions are perfect and stop judging yourself for having them.

Try to integrate and accept your feelings with the following three-step process:

1. Experience the feeling to the fullest, and then identify it: what is it - anger, joy, sadness, fear?

2. Let the feelings into your heart - just the way they are. Love them. Accept them. Love them as part of yourself. Recognize perfection in them. It is impossible to rise to the vibrations of joy if you do not accept your feelings and make peace with them. Say the following affirmation: "I ask for support to love all my feelings as they are, embrace them with my heart and accept them as part of myself." 3. Now feel love for yourself for having these feelings and understand that you chose to experience them in order to direct your energy towards healing.

4. I am the master of my feelings. Nobody can make me feel anything. My feelings are a reflection of how I see the situation.

This statement reminds us that no one can make us feel anything. Our emotions belong to us. When a person feels, recognizes, accepts and loves them without any additional conditions, he thereby acquires complete freedom to keep them with him or let him go. Realizing this makes us stronger, because it helps us understand that the source of the problem is not in outside world but within ourselves. And yet, this awareness is our first step away from the vibrations of the victim archetype. Believing that other people or even situations can cause us anger, joy, sadness or fear, we thereby give them all our power.

5. Although I do not know how or why this happens, I now understand that the soul created this situation for my learning and growth. (Please tick the appropriate box)

inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

Perhaps this is the most important statement in the questionnaire. It is designed to strengthen you in the belief that a person's life experience is created by his thoughts, feelings and ideas. Moreover, the soul organizes its reality in such a way as to promote its spiritual growth. Once you open yourself to this truth, the problem almost always disappears. This happens because there are no real problems - there is only a false perception of what is happening.

This statement encourages us to accept the possibility that the situation served a purpose and to let go of the need to find out how and why it happened.

This is a dead end, because to find out how and why things happen is to try to get into the mind of God. And at the current level of our spiritual development, we still cannot penetrate them. Therefore, one must give up the desire to know “why” (especially since this is a question inherent in the victims anyway) and unconditionally accept the idea that God does not make mistakes and everything is subject to the Divine order.

Don't judge yourself for creating this situation. Remember: your Divine beginning created it. If you judge the Divine in yourself, then you judge God. Recognize that you are a beautiful creative Divine Being teaching yourself lessons on the spiritual path, lessons that will ultimately bring you home. As soon as you can recognize this, you can trust your Divine principle, and it will do the rest.

6. I see some clues in my life - namely, recurring situations and other "coincidences" - that indicate that I had many healing opportunities that I did not notice at the time. For example:

At this stage, we demonstrate that we have a natural human curiosity and an insatiable thirst to know why things happen the way they do. Above we acknowledged that we must give up our need to know everything. And yet, at this stage, we allow ourselves, for the sake of interest, to look at the most obvious clues that confirm that the situation is always, in some incomprehensible way, perfect. If we do not make such confirmations a prerequisite for accepting the perfection of the situation, our curiosity does no harm - but it can shed light on the big picture of what is happening. However, keep in mind that you may not see any clues that clarify the situation. It's OK. Just skip this section of the questionnaire and move on to the next one. This is NOT evidence that there is nothing behind the situation. Keys can be:

· Recurring situations: The most obvious clue. An example here is when someone marries the same type of people over and over again. Or the case when a person chooses his companions in life, similar to his mother or father. Another signal is the repetition of the same type of situations. And finally, if you come across people who let you down or don't want to listen, this can also be a clue that you need to heal from the corresponding ideas.

· Hint numbers: It happens that the same situations are not just repeated, but follow a certain numerical pattern. For example, a person loses his job every two years or changes partners every nine years, usually strikes up three dating in a row, gets sick at the same age as his parents, constantly bumps into the same number, etc. It will be easier for you to find these clues if you plot a timing diagram like the one illustrated in my sister's case (end of chapter one). Put the dates of all events on the time line and pay attention to the intervals between them. Perhaps you will find some important pattern.

· Body Keys: Your body is constantly giving you clues. Do you have problems on one side of your body again and again? Or in areas associated with certain chakras, and therefore with the problems corresponding to these chakras? Books by Carolina Miss, Liz Burbo and Louise Hay will help you understand the meaning of the processes taking place in your body and read the healing message they bring to you. Thus, in working with cancer patients, we have found that cancer has always served as a loving invitation to change, or to feel and let go of repressed emotional pain.

· Coincidences and "strange cases": The richest deposits of keys are hidden here. Whenever something seems strange, unusual, or contrary to probability, know that you have a clue in your hands. For example, it is rather strange that both girls who managed to get the love that Jill lacked from men were named Lauren (not a particularly common name in England). Not only that: they are both blondes, both blue-eyed, and both are the eldest of three children in the family. Jeff also behaved in a completely uncharacteristic manner. You can't call this person cruel or insensitive. On the contrary, he is very kind, caring and gentle. I can't imagine Jeff being callous to anyone. It was very strange to me that he behaved like that with Jill. Where we previously saw coincidences and coincidences, we now tend to see synchronicity orchestrated by Spirit for our highest good. This synchronicity is woven into our stories, and when we see it, we are able to understand: “My soul has created this situation specifically for learning and growth.”

7. I am willing to admit that my mission, or "soul contract", includes this experience - and there are certain reasons for this that I do not need to know. (Please tick the appropriate box)

inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

This statement should simply remind you of one of the principles of radical forgiveness: we come into this world on a mission. In other words, we have made a "contract" with Spirit to do something, behave in a certain way, or transform certain energies. Whatever our mission, it is enough for us to know that any experience in this world is an integral part of the role we play. An illustration of this idea is the story of Princess Diana. Note that the last part of the statement relieves us of the need to know what our mission is.

8. My dissatisfaction with this situation served as a signal to me that I was depriving myself and X of love, which manifested itself in judgment, unjustified expectations, desire for X to change, and in the opinion that X is not perfect. (List your expectations and actions that indicate you wanted X to change.)

I realize that I tried to prove that Jeff was wrong and blame him for my discomfort - although I myself bear full responsibility for everything that happened. I judged him and assumed that he was obliged to make me happy. I demanded that he be different from what he is. I did not see the true state of things: he loves me.

When we feel that we are losing touch with a person, we cannot love him. When we condemn a person (or ourselves) and say that he is wrong, we deprive him (or ourselves) of love. Even when we claim that a person is right, we still deprive him of love, because we make our love dependent on his being right.

Any attempt to change someone involves a loss of love, because our desire to change a person implies that he is wrong in some way (and needs to be changed). Moreover, we can even harm a person in order to push him to change. After all, even acting out of the best of intentions, by our intervention we can disrupt his spiritual lesson, hinder the mission, slow down development.

All this is much more subtle than we think. For example, if we see that a person is sick and send him unsolicited healing energy, we thereby make a judgment that something is wrong with the person and he should not be sick. And who gave us the right to make such a decision? Perhaps the disease is exactly the experience that this person needs for spiritual growth. Naturally, if a person asks for healing, then this is a completely different matter and we must do everything in our power to fulfill his request. Nevertheless, we must see perfection in this person and in everything that happens to him.

So, in this column, you need to write about all the times when you wanted the forgiven person to be different from what he is, and about what kind of changes you wanted from him. Remember the subtle condemnation of this person, which indicates your inability to accept him for who he is. Recall the behavior in which this condemnation manifested itself. You may be surprised to find that your well-intentioned desire for him to change for his own good is actually nothing more than condemnation on your part.

If you want to know the truth, it is your condemnation that creates resistance to change in a person. Once you let go of judgment, the person is likely to change. Funny, isn't it?

9. I understand that I get upset only when someone gets into resonance with those aspects of my being that I deny in myself, displace and project onto other people. (Please tick the appropriate box)

inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

10. X reflects what I need to love and accept about myself.(Please tick the appropriate box)

inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

Here we acknowledge the fact that human behavior upsets us only when it reflects those aspects of our being that we especially dislike in ourselves and therefore project onto others.

If we are open enough to consider the idea that the person is giving us a chance to accept and love the part of ourselves that we have cursed, and that in this respect that person is our healing angel, then the job will be done successfully.

As we noted above, it is not at all necessary that the person being forgiven becomes sympathetic to you. Just recognize him as your mirror, thank his soul with this questionnaire and continue your life journey.

There is no need to find out exactly what part of our being is reflected in the offender. In any case, this is usually a difficult question. Let it go and don't get tangled up in analysis. Everything works well and so.

11.X reflects my false perception of reality. By forgiving X, I heal and create a new reality for myself. (Please tick the appropriate box)

inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

This statement serves as a reminder to us that through our stories (which are false perceptions of reality), we create our own life and reality. We always attract people who reflect our false perceptions, thus providing us with the opportunity to heal from error and move in the direction of truth.

12. I now understand that no action by X or other people is good or bad. I refuse any judgment.

This step contradicts everything that we have been told since childhood, teaching us to distinguish good from bad, good from evil.

After all, the whole world is divided in two by these borders. Yes, we know that the human world is just an illusion. Nevertheless, our human experience is inconceivable without distinguishing between these polarities.

It will help us to take this step by realizing that good and bad, good and evil do not differ from each other only when we look at them in the broadest spiritual perspective - from the world of Divine Truth. Looking from there, we can go beyond our sense perception and mental constructions and see in everything that happens, the Divine purpose and meaning. Once we look at the situation in this perspective, we see that there is nothing good or bad in it. She just is.

13. I release the need to judge and be right. I WANT to see perfection in the situation as it is.(Please tick the appropriate box)

inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

This column indicates to you the perfection of the situation and tests your readiness to see this perfection. Although it is always difficult for a person to see the perfection or goodness in such a phenomenon as child abuse, he may show a desire to see this perfection, a desire to give up value judgments and a desire to give up the need to be right. While it will always be difficult for us to accept that both the tormentor and the tormented have somehow created the situation themselves in order to learn from it on a soul level, and that their mission is to transform the situation for the sake of all who are being bullied— we may be willing to consider this thought.

Obviously, the more a person is involved in a situation, the more difficult it is for him to see perfection in it. However, seeing perfection does not always mean understanding it. We cannot know the reasons why everything happens the way it does and not the other way. You just have to believe that everything happens in a perfect way and for the highest good of everyone.

Consider your insatiable desire to be right. People make a huge investment in being right and are trained from childhood to stand up for it—which usually involves the need to make someone else wrong. We even determine our own worth based on how often we are right. Therefore, it is not surprising that we find it so difficult to accept that something just is - and nothing is inherently right or wrong, good or bad. If at this stage you are not yet able to let go of your judgments about something that seems terrible to you, simply reconnect with your feelings (see column N ° 3 of this questionnaire), feel them to the fullest and admit that you still not ready to take this step. However, be willing to give up value judgments. Desire is always the key. Desire creates an energetic matrix of radical forgiveness. If there is an energy shift, everything else will follow.

14. Although I still do not understand how and why this happens, I am aware that we both received what each of us chose on a subconscious level. We danced the healing dance together. (Please tick the appropriate box)

inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

15. I thank you X for agreeing to play your part in my healing. And I'm proud of myself for playing a part in your healing. (Please tick the appropriate box)

inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

It is fitting to thank X for creating a situation with you that can help you become aware of the beliefs that guide your life. X deserves gratitude and blessings, because this co-creation and the awareness that follows from it has given you the opportunity to get acquainted with your own beliefs, and therefore to get rid of them. After that, you can consider what you want out of life and revise your beliefs accordingly. X also has reason to feel towards you; gratitude for the same reasons.

16. I release my consciousness from all these feelings (listed in column 26): Resentment, loneliness, sadness and anger, as well as the feeling that I have been abandoned and betrayed. (Please tick the appropriate box)

inclined

· I doubt

· Not ready

Here you get the opportunity to announce that you are freeing yourself from the feelings listed in column 26. As long as all these emotions and thoughts remain in your mind, they prevent you from realizing your false perception of reality, which caused grief. If you continue to feel strongly about the situation, then your investment in false perceptions of reality - in your own beliefs, interpretations, value judgments, etc. - is still too great. Don't rate given fact and don't try to change your attachments. Just pay attention to it.

Your emotions about the situation may return from time to time, but this too should not be given much importance. Just be willing to feel them fully and let them go even for a moment, so that the light of awareness illuminates your being and makes you see your false perception. And then you can again decide to look at the situation differently.

Letting go of emotions and their corresponding thoughts plays an important role in the process of forgiveness. As long as these thoughts remain in place, they energize the old belief system—the one that created the reality we are now trying to transform. By affirming that we have let go of both the feelings and the thoughts associated with them, we thereby begin the healing process.

17. I thank you, X, for being willing to mirror my false perceptions and for giving me the opportunity to show radical forgiveness and accept myself for who I am.

This is another opportunity to feel grateful to X for coming into your life and agreeing to dance the healing dance with you.

18. Now I realize that everything I experienced (the story of the victim) was an accurate reflection of my unhealthy perception of the situation

Now I understand that I can change this "reality" simply by being willing to see perfection in this situation. For example? (Try to rephrase the situation in terms of radical forgiveness. It could be general terms like knowing everything is perfect, or a specific analysis of your situation if you really see how perfection is manifested in it. (Note: often you will you won't see.)

Now I realize that Jeff simply reflected my false belief that I was not worthy of love. Thus, he gave me the opportunity to heal. Jeff loves me so much that he was willing to endure the discomfort of having to act out this awkward situation for me. Now I see that I received everything needed for my healing, and Jeff got everything needed for his healing. In this respect, the situation was perfect, and it is a testament to the fact that my life is controlled by the spirit, and also that I am loved.

If you can't make up a new interpretation of your particular situation, that's not a problem. One can simply restate the situation in general terms from the point of view of radical forgiveness, for example: “All that happened was nothing more than the fulfillment of the Divine plan. My Higher Self orchestrated this for my own spiritual growth, and everyone in the situation danced along with me in the healing dance, so nothing really bad happened." It is quite appropriate to write something like this in this column. On the other hand, if you have any ideas about how perfection manifested itself in your situation, so much the better.

What is USELESS is to present an interpretation of what happened based on assumptions originating in the human world, such as explaining the reasons why everything happened and justifying someone. By doing so, you can simply switch from one false belief system to another, and even slip into pseudo-forgiveness. The new interpretation should help you see the perfection of what happened from a spiritual point of view and open up to the gift that this situation brings to you. It is necessary that the new wording suggest seeing the hand of the Lord in the situation, or the Divine mind, which with great love acts for your benefit.

Note:

You may have to fill out many questionnaires about one situation before you see perfection in it.

Be absolutely honest with yourself and always focus on your feelings. There are no right answers, no goals, no grades, no final product. The whole value of the process lies in itself - in the work you do. Any result is perfect. Resist the urge to edit and evaluate your writing. You cannot write something wrong.

19. I completely forgive myself, Jill, or, and accept myself as a loving, generous, and creative person. I release any need to cling to negative emotions and ideas that carry limitations and dissatisfaction with myself. I refuse to direct my energy into the past and break down all barriers that have separated me from the love and abundance that I own. I, the creator of my thoughts, feelings and life, return to myself the right to unconditionally love and support myself - the way I am, in all my splendor.

The significance of this statement cannot be overestimated. Say it out loud and feel it with all your heart. Let these words echo within you. Self-judgment is the root of all problems, and even when we stop judging others and forgive them, we often continue to condemn ourselves. It comes to the point that we condemn ourselves for the tendency to self-condemnation.

It is difficult for us to break this circle, primarily because the survival of the ego depends on our guilt about who we are. The better we are at forgiving others, the harder the ego tries to make us feel guilty about who we are. This explains why we often have to overcome such tremendous resistance when we walk the path of forgiveness. Every step along the way is a threat to the ego, and it fights furiously for itself. The results of this eternal struggle show up when, against our intent, we do not complete the radical forgiveness questionnaire, or when we find new reasons to project our guilt onto X and feel like a victim; or when we can't find time to meditate; or when we forget to do other things to remind us who we really are. The closer we get to getting rid of some factor that supports the feeling of guilt, the more the ego kicks and yells, trying with all its might to prevent the process of forgiveness.

So be prepared for this resistance and remember that when you overcome it, you will find peace and joy. Also, get ready to go through the pain, depression, chaos, and confusion that may befall you along the way.

20. Now I give myself into the power of the Higher Power, which I call God.

I am confident that this situation will continue to develop in a perfect manner, in accordance with Divine guidance and spiritual law. I recognize my oneness with the Source and feel my connection with it. I have returned to my true nature, which is Love, and now I love X again. I close my eyes to feel the love flowing through me. I am overwhelmed with joy that goes hand in hand with love.

This is the last step in the forgiveness process. However, this step is not taken by you. All you do is declare your willingness to do it and let the Higher Power finish the process. Ask that the healing be completed by God's grace and that you and X return to your true nature, which is love, and to your Source, which is also Love.

This final step gives you the opportunity to put aside any words, thoughts, and concepts and actually feel love. When you get to the bottom, only love remains. If you can truly tap into that source of love, then you are free; it means you are at home. Nothing more needs to be done.

So take a few minutes to meditate on this statement and open up to love. You may have to do this exercise many times before you feel it. But one day, when you least expect it, you will be enveloped in love and joy.

21. Note to you, X:

“Today, after filling out this questionnaire, I... I realized how lucky I was to meet you in my life. From the very beginning I knew that for some reason we were destined to be together, and now I understand why. I forgive you with all my heart, X, because now I see that you did nothing wrong, and everything that happened is subject to the Divine order. I thank, accept and love you without any preconditions - just the way you are.

You started the survey complaining about X. Your energy has probably shifted since then, even if that shift only happened a couple of seconds ago. How do you feel about X now? What would you like to say X? Try to write these lines, turning off your consciousness and not evaluating your words. Let the writing surprise even you.

After you thank, accept, and love X unconditionally, just the way it is, acknowledge and forgive the projection that made you feel that X was so imperfect. Now you can love X without judging, for you have realized that this is the only way to love a person. Now you love X because you have realized that his way of being in the world is the only way he can be. Spirit has decided that this is how X should be in relation to you.

22. Note to self.

I give myself credit for having the courage to go through this process and for having the strength to overcome victim consciousness. I acknowledge that I am a spiritual entity having a human experience. I love and approve of myself in all my human manifestations.

Remember: forgiveness always starts as a lie. When a person begins this process, there is no forgiveness in his heart, and he goes along the path from the feigned to the genuine. So give yourself credit for doing it. But be gentle enough with yourself and let the process of forgiveness take as long as you need to see it through. Be patient. Thank yourself for having the courage to simply complete the Radical Forgiveness Questionnaire—for in doing so, you have met your demons. In order to do this work, a person has to show considerable courage, will and faith.

K. Tipping

excerpts from K. Tipping's book "Radical Forgiveness"

Make room for wonder

the date ___________ Questionnaire №_____

____________________________________________________

Object (X) - the reason for your grief (person or circumstances)

1. A situation that made me angry. How I perceive it now:

2a. Claims to X: I am angry with you because: ___________________________

2b. Your behavior makes me (identify your true emotions here): _____________________________

3. I lovingly acknowledge and accept my feelings and no longer judge them.

		I doubt

4. I am the master of my feelings. Nobody can make me feel anything. My feelings are a reflection of how I see the situation.

		I doubt

5. Although I don't know how or why this happens, I now realize that I created this situation for my learning and growth.

		I doubt

6. I see some clues in my life - namely, recurring situations and other "coincidences" - that indicate that I had many opportunities to heal that I did not notice at the time. For example:

		I doubt

7. I am willing to admit that my mission or "soul contract" includes this experience - and there are certain reasons for this that I do not need to know.

		I doubt

8. My dissatisfaction with this situation served as a signal to me that I was depriving myself and X of love - which manifested itself in judgment, unjustified expectations, desire for X to change, and in the opinion that X is not perfect. (List your expectations and actions that indicate you wanted X to change.)

9. I understand that I get upset only when someone gets into resonance with those aspects of my being that I deny in myself, displace and project onto other people.

		I doubt

10. X represents what I need to love and accept about myself.

		I doubt

11. X reflects my false perception of reality. By forgiving X, I heal and create a new reality for myself.

		I doubt

12. I now understand that nothing that X or other people do is good or bad. I refuse any judgment.

		I doubt

13. I release myself from the need to judge and be right. I WANT to see perfection in the situation as it is.

		I doubt

14. Although it is not yet clear to me how and why this happens, I am aware that we both received what each of us chose on a subconscious level. We danced the healing dance together.

		I doubt

15. I thank you, X, for agreeing to play your part in my healing. And I'm proud of myself for playing a part in your healing.

		I doubt

Ecology of life. Psychology: This technique was created by Colin Tipping, an English psychotherapist who has worked with cancer patients for a long time ...

The Radical Forgiveness Questionnaire is the main tool for Radical Forgiveness.

This technique was created by Colin Tipping, an English psychotherapist who worked with cancer patients for a long time.

Tipping noticed that the cause of almost all cancers is emotions. Moreover, those emotions that were born, but were not released into the world, were suppressed and remained inside the person.

Resentment, guilt and shame, repressed aggression and hatred - all these feelings, if they are not expressed or released, begin to devour a person from the inside and often lead to development bad habits and cancer cells.

Radical forgiveness just allows you to let go of these emotions and truly deeply forgive yourself and those around you.

Questionnaire for radical forgiveness

Date __________ Questionnaire No. __________ Object (X) - the reason for your grief

1. The situation that caused my discontent. How I perceive it now:
2a. Claims against X: I am angry with you because:			2b. Your behavior makes me feel the following (identify your true emotions here):
3. I lovingly acknowledge and accept my feelings and no longer judge them.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional remarks
4. I am the owner of my feelings. Nobody can make me feel anything. My feelings are a reflection of how I see the situation.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional remarks
5. Although I do not know how or why this happens, I now understand that the soul created this situation for my learning and growth.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional remarks
6. I see some clues in my life - namely, recurring situations and other "coincidences" - indicating that there were many opportunities in my life, healing, which I did not notice at the time. For example:
7. I am willing to admit that my mission, or "soul contract", includes this experience - and there are certain reasons for this that I do not need to know.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional remarks
8. My dissatisfaction with this situation signaled to me that I was depriving myself and X of love - which manifested itself in judgment, unfulfilled expectations, desire for X to change, and in the opinion that X is not perfect. (List your expectations and actions that indicate you wanted X to change.)
9. I understand that I get upset only when someone gets into resonance with those aspects of my being that I deny in myself, displace and project onto other people.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional remarks
10. X ___________ reflects what I need to love and accept about myself.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional remarks
11. X ____________ reflects my false perception of reality. By forgiving X, I heal and create a new reality for myself.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional remarks
12. I now understand that no action by X or other people is good or bad. I refuse any judgment.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional remarks
13. I release the need to judge and be right. I WANT to see perfection in the situation as it is.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional remarks
14. Although I still do not understand how and why this happens, I am aware that we both received what each of us chose on a subconscious level. We danced the healing dance together.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional remarks
15. I thank you X ___________ for agreeing to play your part in my healing. And I'm proud of myself for playing a part in your healing.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional remarks
16. I release my consciousness from all these feelings (listed in column 2b):
17. I thank you, X ___________, for being willing to mirror my false perceptions and for giving me the opportunity to show radical forgiveness and accept myself for who I am.	ready	inclined	I doubt	not ready	additional remarks
18. Now I realize that everything I experienced (the story of the victim) was an accurate reflection of my unhealthy perception of the situation. Now I understand that I can change this "reality" simply by being willing to see perfection in this situation. For example? (Try to rephrase the situation in terms of radical forgiveness. It can be general, like you know everything is perfect, or a specific analysis of your situation, if you really see how perfection manifested in it. Note: you usually don’t see this you will.)
19. I completely forgive myself, ____________, and accept myself as a loving, generous, and creative person. I release any need to cling to negative emotions and ideas that carry limitations and dissatisfaction with myself. I refuse to direct my energy into the past and break down all barriers that have separated me from the love and abundance that I own. I, the creator of my thoughts, feelings and life, return to myself the right to unconditionally love and support myself - such as I am in all my splendor.			20. Now I SURRENDER MYSELF TO THE POWER OF THE HIGHEST POWER, which I call God, the Higher Power, the Universal Mind, ____________. I am confident that this situation will continue to develop in a perfect manner, in accordance with Divine guidance and spiritual law. I recognize my oneness with the Source and feel my connection with it. I have returned to my true nature, which is Love, and now I love X again. I close my eyes to feel the love flowing through me. I am overwhelmed with joy that goes hand in hand with love.
21. Note to you X ____________: “Today, by filling out this questionnaire, I forgive you with all my heart, X, because now I see that you did nothing wrong and everything that happened is subject to the Divine order. I thank, accept and love you without any preconditions - just the way you are. Note: This does not mean that I condone his behavior or that I am not going to take action in my defense. After all, we live in a human world.
22. Note to self: I acknowledge that I am a spiritual entity having a human experience. I love and approve of myself in all my human manifestations.

Today I invite you to meet great way healing painful life situations through radical forgiveness method, authored by the Anglo-American hypnotherapist Colin Tipping.

First, I will talk about the author, the essence and principles of the method, and then I will suggest practically go through the healing process using the attached Worksheets (Radical Forgiveness Questionnaires, which I have translated especially for my readers). They bring an amazing effect and do not take much time. It is important to go through all stages of the process, being fully involved in it.

Colin developed the Radical Forgiveness Method, which differs from ordinary forgiveness in that it allows you to recognize the true role of the offender (“guilty” of suffering) as a loving soul who kindly agreed to help a person pass his lesson and get closer to his true essence, increase the vibration and amount of love in soul.

After the step-by-step process of radical forgiveness, which consists of five mandatory stages, has been completed, a person realizes that there is essentially no one to forgive him and all that remains is to thank that person for the lesson of love and the opportunity to heal.

A few years ago I got acquainted with this amazing method, and now, having returned to Colin's website, I saw that over the years he did not stand still and continued to develop his method, expanding it to solve other problems. Using the same algorithm, Colin offers several options for working with a radical method - this is a radical forgiveness of other people, a radical forgiveness of oneself, a radical manifestation - a statement about the desired and a radical transformation - which removes claims to world processes. All work takes place through worksheets, questionnaires, where it is proposed to write down answers to several questions step by step or tick off your agreement with some statements.

background

Before moving on to the practice itself, I will talk a little more about the essence of the method and its author.

Colin Tipping has worked for many years as a psychotherapist and hypnotherapist, in therapy camps for cancer patients and over the years he had to listen to thousands of heart-warming stories from the most different people, which led him to the conviction that it is hardly possible to find a person on our earth who would not act as a victim in his life under serious circumstances, let alone count how many times in small things. Who can say that he has never blamed others for his misfortunes? For most people, it's their way of life.

The archetype of the victim is rooted very deeply in each of us and has a huge impact on the mass consciousness. We are surrounded by victims suffering from severe emotional trauma, people who are subjected to violence, unfair treatment, resentment, and so on. For many epochs, we have played the role of a victim in all spheres, convincing ourselves that the consciousness of a victim is one of the conditions of human life.

In our time of spiritual awakening and liberation, people are thinking about how they can reshape their destiny and get rid of the tendency to use the archetype of the victim as the main life pattern. And many have already achieved success long ago, having gone beyond the sacrificial state.

To get rid of this powerful archetype, you need to replace it with something else that carries the same strong charge of spiritual liberation, so that it helps to overcome the attraction of the archetype of the victim and the world of illusions; something that will take you beyond your own life drama to where you can see the big picture and the hidden truth. Having comprehended this truth, we will understand the true meaning of our suffering and will be able to transform it.

Entering the new millennium and going through a qualitative leap in the spiritual evolution of humanity, it is very important for us to accept new look a life based not on fear, struggle and punitive power, but on true forgiveness, unconditional love and the world. This is exactly where Colin Tipping is working with his Radical Forgiveness method to help make this transition happen.

In order to transform something, we first need to fully experience it. This means that in order to transform the archetype of the victim, we must experience it to the end. There is no other way! That's why life situations where we feel like a victim are necessary for us to transform the corresponding energy through Radical Forgiveness. In order to transform such a fundamental energy structure as the archetype of the victim, many souls have to accept this archetype as their spiritual mission, and to complete this colossal task, the soul needs a lot of wisdom and love. Jesus vividly demonstrated what it means to transform the victim archetype, and now we should follow his example. Previously, we did not learn the lesson of true forgiveness, we believed that there were no victims among us, we tried to forgive, but in fact we remained firmly in the position of the victim. True forgiveness involves the complete abandonment of the consciousness of the victim.

According to Tipping, traditional forgiveness establishes the archetype of the victim, and radical forgiveness frees us from this archetype, since it sets the task of completely changing our worldview in such a way as to abandon the role of victims. Someone who feels like a victim under very difficult circumstances and feels pain acutely will find it difficult to accept the ideas of this method. Therefore, the author wrote a whole book explaining the mechanisms of his discovery, which is called Radical Forgiveness. People who have gone through the process given by Tipping in this book have been able to free themselves and be healed by transforming their attitude towards life.

The essence and history of Jill

First, the general essence: you need to understand and accept that in this life, in addition to the material plane, there is life on the subtle plane, where our souls agree on the passage of certain situations for us to work them out. You should not blame others for their “badness”, but look at the situation as a training one, the soul of a partner, out of love and desire to help, agreed to play the role of a tormentor while we play the role of a victim in order to show us our false attitudes, realizing that we can easily get rid of them . Perceiving partners and situations in this way, Radical Forgiveness arises because there are no guilty, but there are helpers and we can only Thank them for their help and sympathy. Having gone through the Tipping forgiveness process, we are freed from a heavy burden and the situation of the victim is removed.

First, Colin identified three stages: in the first, you need to write down all your feelings - immersing yourself in your role as a victim as much as possible and feeling all the feelings from this role and situation to the end. Then - look at the situation analytically, revealing what our attitudes are embedded in our feelings and possibly finding their roots in childhood, thus. realizing that our partner only mirrors them, showing us our shortcomings and what needs to be corrected and healed. The third stage is to thank our "tormentor" for his voluntary commitment to help us and radically forgive him.

Working with cancer patients, Colin came to the conclusion that for the most part the causes of the disease were insufficient forgiveness, which formed the basis of his method. At the beginning of the book, he gives as an example the story of his sister Jill, whose marriage was on the verge of divorce, when she flew to visit her brother. Jill believed that the fault lies entirely with her husband, who was in a very warm relationship with his daughter from his first marriage, that is, she was jealous that he spent a lot of time with his daughter and paid a lot of attention and tenderness, and she felt abandoned and no one unnecessary. Their relationship got worse and worse until the couple almost stopped talking.

Colin listened to his sister's story and immediately understood what was going on between her and her husband, that the situation is perfect as it is, that it represents an opportunity for healing. On the second day, he decided to invite her to look at the situation from the other side, so that she could see that behind the veil there was some meaningful process, a good divine plan. Colin could see that his sister was getting too used to being the victim in this situation. He suggested that she remain open to what he would say to her, as many things would seem strange to her, and explained that it was natural for us to think that all reality lies on surface, but behind the veil of reality lies another spiritual event - everything that happens to people in certain situations has a completely different meaning there and carries opportunities for healing and growth, and then what happens in reality takes on a completely different meaning.

Further, Colin asked her how she felt and Jill said that she was full of anger, disappointment and sadness, she felt lonely and unloved, and she could not consider her husband incapable of loving, since he only loves his daughter, that is, she quickly realized her the senses. Then Colin asked her to remember if she had experienced the same feelings when she was little and Jill immediately replied that this was in relation to her father, who never took her hand, was not gentle with her and she decided that he behaves like this with everyone and does not know how to love at all. But when she saw him with her granddaughter, Colin's daughter, who even had the same name as her husband's daughter, when her grandfather played with her, put her on his knees, she was overwhelmed by a wave of resentment, he knows how to love, but not her.

In terms of radical forgiveness, Jill's husband was subconsciously trying to help heal her unresolved pain from her relationship with her father. If the sister can see the perfection in Jeff's actions, she will be able to heal from this pain and her husband's behavior will certainly change.

Jill herself saw the parallels between her current situation with her husband and past experiences with her father. They both gave love to others at Jill's expense. But Jill did not understand what was happening and why. And then Colin explained that from a spiritual point of view, the feeling of discomfort in any situation serves as a signal that we are out of tune with spiritual law and we have been given the opportunity to heal emotional trauma or poisonous beliefs that prevent us from being ourselves. We prefer to give value judgments and resort to blaming others, and this makes it difficult to understand the meaning of what is happening and learn lessons; does not allow healing and creates even more discomfort around us, until we ask ourselves the question “What is happening anyway?”. Sometimes in order for a person to pay attention to what is happening, he needs a very strong shock or unbearable pain, it can be a serious illness, but even then many do not understand that what is happening makes it possible to heal.

In Jill's case, she needed to heal the pain that her father never showed his love for her. And it was there that was the cause of her pain and discomfort in the situation with her husband. This pain had already made itself felt many times, but Jill did not notice it until it reached this level.

Colin told Jill how it all happened - for a girl to feel that her father loves and cares for her. Since Jill did not receive this love, she concluded that she was not worthy of love and not good enough. This belief stuck deep inside and began to control her life and influence relationships with people. Life has always reflected her subconscious belief and put her in situations that prove in practice that she really isn't good enough. Life always confirms our beliefs.

Over time, children's pain is forced into the subconscious, suppressed and the person forgets about its existence. Jill carried a conviction about her badness and transferred it to relationships with men, her first husband constantly cheated on her, that is, supported her in her conviction that she was so bad that he had to look for other women better. This false self-image gets in the way of being good enough. If Jill had got rid of the belief that she was not good enough, then her husband would have stopped cheating.

If you want to find out what your beliefs are, look around - life always reflects our point of view.

Instead of realizing what was happening and healing, Jill blamed her husband every time and took on the role of a victim, and in such conditions, healing is impossible. Forgive him for his actions - for nothing! But if you look at his behavior as providing an opportunity for Jill to remember childhood pain and realize what ideas are ruining her life, thus giving a chance to understand and change them and heal her childhood trauma. In that case, he deserves credit for mirroring Jill's problem, it's not his fault that she didn't see the intended message behind his behavior. This is difficult to acknowledge and accept because we are not trained to think in this way. We are not accustomed to think about the current situation and ask ourselves “What did I fill it with?”. We are conditioned to judge, to blame, to play the victim and seek revenge; and also to think that our lives are controlled by forces that lie beyond consciousness. In fact, the Soul of the offender tried to heal Jill, she agreed to work with her in a pair, for spiritual growth. The work of radical forgiveness is precisely to recognize this fact. His goal is to see the truth behind the surface of visible events and find the love that is in every situation.

Colin went on to explain how the radical forgiveness method works, how our false beliefs are formed in childhood, how a child perceives what is happening and draws his false conclusions that develop into beliefs. The child is inclined to blame himself for everything, and if an adult does not help him remove this tendency, then problems in life are provided for him. His beliefs will create his reality until he realizes the mechanisms of working programs and rewrites them into a new scenario, thereby healing his pain.

Each similar situation triggers memories of repressed pain and causes emotional regression, the memory of pain is stored on cellular level. We begin to act and feel like a baby in pain. This is exactly what happened to Jill. She expended an enormous amount of energy fighting the pain and the situation. After looking at the problem from a new perspective, energy is released. As soon as Jill changes her attitude towards her husband and herself, understands his mission, the feat of his soul and forgives, her heart will open to love, she will stop sending subconscious signals that she is not worthy of love. His soul will immediately respond to forgiveness and the situation will change in the energy fields and will immediately be reflected in reality. Colin advised Jill, upon returning home, not to do anything and not to tell her husband, but just to see what would happen, how everything would work out by itself, just because her perception had changed. Yes, and she herself will become more relaxed, peaceful and will love herself more. Colin gave his sister some breathing exercises and offered to fill out his radical forgiveness questionnaire.

I suggest that you do the same in relation to your pain situation and radically forgive your “offender”. What happened next with Jill and learn more about this method you can by reading Tipping's entire book Radical Forgiveness.

Attention! These sheets must be printed and filled out by hand, be honest and frank, do not skip the stages and take all the steps.

Stages of Radical Forgiveness

The tools of radical forgiveness lead through the following five steps. It is important to go through them all in turn, without gaps, especially step number two cannot be skipped. Many try to skip this point and move on to spiritual explanations. This is called a "spiritual leap", but it will not be productive. We begin with our history as a victim, acknowledge and accept our judgments, feel our feelings, and only then move on to spiritual perspectives.

1. Tell your story

The first step of liberation is the voicing of history, its examination and approval. To free yourself from the position of the victim, you must fully experience it. This step requires someone who will listen carefully and compassionately to your story, and accept it with honor as the true state of affairs. With a worksheet, there is no active listener other than yourself.

In this step, we must recognize that you are in the position of a victim and see how your story looks from her mouth, this is the starting point where we are, we need to experience the pain caused by the energy block.

2. Feel what you feel

Your feelings represent your true nature. Your strength lies in your vulnerability and your desire to fully show yourself as whole person. You can't heal what you can't feel. When people take out their pain, that is the beginning of their healing.

Many "spiritual" people believe that they should not experience "negative" feelings, but this is pure self-denial. Our strength lies precisely in the ability to experience our feelings to the fullest and thus manifest our human nature. The journey to healing begins when we gain access to our own pain.

3. Destroy your story

Here we make a conscious choice to take back the energy we have given to our story and begin to realize that our story is for the most part our interpretation of events based on our limited perception of reality and is an illusion, since usually everything is much wider than our eye perceives.

Analyzing, we see how our beliefs were formed that determine our attitude towards ourselves and life; that our story is fictional and serves to protect the ego from pain, reinforcing the archetype of the victim in the mind. Most of our stories are rooted in childhood, when we imagined that the world revolves around us and saw everything that happened as our own fault. At this stage, we can already get rid of traumas by simply showing our inner child from the perspective of an adult what really happened and what are only interpretations of our conjectures. We get rid of attachment to our history and it is easier for us to make the transition to the next stage.

4. Rewrite your history

Here we replace our "illusory" story with another one - the "story" of Radical Forgiveness. And it expresses our desire to see that what seemed to happen to us as a tragedy was in fact exactly what we wanted to experience as an experience of our soul for its evolution and in this sense, absolutely beautiful.

Through the act of acceptance, we learn the lesson of love meant for us and receive our gift.

5. Implement

Now it is necessary to implement these changes at the cellular level. This means getting into the physical, emotional and spiritual bodies to become a part of us. This is similar to saving the work done on the computer to the hard drive. Only after that the shift in consciousness acquires stability.

Excellent methods for integrating these changes are “Satori” breathing (a person lies on his back and breathes intensively rhythmically to loud music), walking, physical labor, filling out worksheets, reading them aloud, etc.

No need to fill out questionnaires for several people at once, one after another, choose one and work it out carefully. Fill in the sheet until the energy accumulated around the situation or incident dissipates. This can take days or even months.

In the downloaded file you will find a questionnaire from the book Radical Forgiveness with an example of Jill's story and explanations on how to fill out the form, as well as an updated version taken from Colin Tipping's website. I recommend filling out both: you can write your answers on printed forms or take blank sheets and write on them - the main thing is that you write, not type.

My friends, forgiveness is a very powerful tool for healing and release. If you sincerely fill out these questionnaires and live your feelings to the fullest without holding back or judging them, you can actually heal your past and thus your present, because there will be no more old wounds and limiting beliefs.

Good luck in rewriting your history and changing your life for the better!